Clean Slate
by Nature9000
Summary: After Tori rescues her from life within the city gangs, Trina is given a second chance to rebuild a new life for her and her young daughter. In the struggle to give her daughter a good future, Trina must come to terms with, and move on from that past. Starting a new life, however, is far from easy. Will she reach her dream, or will the past refuse to let it be achieved?
1. Making Ends Meet

A Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N: This _is_ a sequel to AUTUMN LEAVES. There are multiple things that will be happening in this story. So without further ado, read on (Though check out Autumn Leaves if you've not read it, specifically the last few chapters. This starts around the time that left off).

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Chapter 1 (Making Ends Meet)

Trina walked into her sister's home after picking her daughter up from preschool. She watched with a smile as four year old Sasha ran past her, her pink backpack bouncing with each step. The young girl ran to her aunt's recliner, grinning at the woman in the chair. Tori was reading a book, waiting for her husband to get home. "Hi Aunt Vic-tree!" Sasha squealed. Tori closed her book to set it aside and let Sasha climb into her lap. "Momma quit her job again."

With that, Tori's smile fell and she slowly looked to Trina. Trina's heart sank for a second as she let out a nervous chuckle. "Again, Trina?" Tori let out a heavy sigh and looked back to Sasha. "What are we going to do with your mom?" She hugged her niece tight, then set her on the ground so she could stand up.

Tori was on a short leave from the FBI due to a pregnancy. She was due in a few weeks for her first child, a spring birth just like Sasha was. Sasha was highly anticipating the birth of her first cousin. "I went on leave so I could avoid the stress of the job, Jade and other agents donated some of their vacation time, and I'm _still_ dealing with stress? Come on Trina, you can't keep quitting!"

"My manager was a-" She wanted to say he was a pervert, but she didn't need Sasha picking up any words like that. Tori folded her arms and gently tapped her finger on her left forearm. "Point being, I need a job with a female boss." Tori bowed her head as Sasha scurried for the nearby couch. Trina lowered her tone to a whisper. "I'm tired of sexual harassment."

"Trina." Tori put her fingers to her forehead and groaned. "I get it, I do, but you need a job for the money. I'm helping by giving you a place to live so you don't have to pay bills-but that doesn't mean you're not going to work. House rules, remember."

"At least I didn't punch my boss this time." She flashed an innocent smile as Tori rolled her eyes. One of Tori's extensive rules for Trina was that she had to stay clean. The very first job she held was a waitressing job, her boss made the mistake of smacking her ass, so she responded by punching him square in the jaw. Old habits die hard.

Fortunately no charges were pressed because Jade had been there at the time, so the presence of an FBI agent was enough to scare the boss into crawling back into his cave of an office, but Trina did get an earful from her sister when she got home. "I had to pick up Sasha from preschool, so I didn't have time to punch him." She smirked and Tori rolled her eyes.

"Okay, I'm going to call Jade up and we're driving back to your job and getting your job back. We will deal with the boss when we get there…You know you need the money."

Sasha looked up from the couch, raising her eyebrows, "I thought we had money, Momma?" Trina closed her eyes and crossed her arms, smirking now that she had a comeback to use on Tori.

"We did dear, until the FBI donated all of your father's money and made us poor." Tori's jaw dropped as the young girl looked to Tori, not truly understanding why her father's money was given away. Since Trina never married Jesse or reached any sort of financial agreement with him, she was not legally entitled to his money after death. Even his sub shop had to be closed down. However, some of the money was still floating around as they were trying to determine ownership, considering Sasha was his daughter.

"Aunt Vickery why did you get rid of my daddy's money? Mommy needs it." It was just one of the prices Trina paid to be free from the gangs in LA. Tori frowned at Trina, who simply shot her a smug look as the woman now had to explain to a young child why her mother was now poor. She was too young to understand what a trust fund was, though.

Trina simply smirked back at her, took a deep breath and turned to Sasha with a smile. "Your daddy would have wanted to help others, so his money went to doing that. You and your momma are secure financially so long as you're living under my roof I'll make sure you don't go hungry." Sasha smiled graciously and looked over to Trina. Tori looked back at her with the same smug expression, pleased to have avoided Trina's plan. "That backfired fast. When she's older you need to explain some of it is in a trust fund set up for her college."

"Nice. Except I still don't have that much money."

"You've got a bachelor's degree in criminal justice, _and_ Director Lunsford himself _cleared_ your record. You don't need to stay on waitressing jobs, Trina. You can work as a police officer if you wanted." She shook her head and lifted her shoulders. It was hard to think she could go that route, especially when she didn't believe she deserved it. "You can get practically any job you want."

"That's the thing, I don't think I'm qualified anymore. You're also forgetting _Katrina Vega_ has a bachelor's degree. You had me change all my information. Unless they're close, they don't call me Trina."

"I know. It's better that way, and for good reason." Gangs were still out there, they would recognize her in a heartbeat. She'd heard talk on the streets, even gangs here in New York, all the way into 2019, months after her alleged 'death', they still talked about her and Jesse Klein's daughter. Tori wasn't going to let her go fully into witness protection, in which case she'd never see her sister again, there was no point in it either, so for most people that didn't know her, she was 'Sherry Crown'. For Sasha it was easier, she was simply called by her middle name, Elizabeth, but most were able to still call her Sasha.

"As far as I'm concerned the bachelor's is useless…"

"Why? You could even be a legal secretary. A Paralegal. Anything you wanted to be."

"Because I was in a gang for _five years_, Tori. Five years I was doing things that a law enforcer shouldn't do." She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes as Tori's shoulders slumped down. "I have no business in that field. You do." She could attempt to go back into college, but she had no way to afford it. Whatever was left of Jesse's money was to remain in a trust fund account until her daughter was an adult and attending college, so it was untouchable. "You're the agent here, you're the one carrying on dad's 'family tradition', and I'm the one that screwed up…"

Tori stepped forward and lifted her hand to Trina's shoulder, smiling sadly. "You're doing the best you can, and that's what matters. Okay Trina? What matters also is your daughter. She's your world, isn't she?"

"Of course she is." No one, _nothing_ was more important to her than her daughter.

The sister pulled her hand down and looked her in the eye. "Then let's go get your job back, and hopefully while you're working you can still look around for something better. It doesn't have to be in the criminal justice area, but it should be something that pays better than waitressing…You need to provide for your little girl, and I'm only able to really help you until you get on your feet." Tori motioned to her protruding belly and raised her eyebrows. "As you can see, I'm starting a family too. So my career and my family are going to leave me pretty busy-"

"I know, I know you're not able to handle things forever."

"I just want you to be able to have that life you want, Trina." Tori paused and Trina's eyes drifted off to the side. "The life Jesse would have wanted for you and Sasha." Her heart clenched in her chest as her muscles tensed. Even now, it was still hard to see herself without him. She was going to do the best she could to move on, and she was trying her hardest, but still she had moments where she'd break down.

"Right. Sometimes I wish things had been different…"

"You don't talk a lot about him. I know it's difficult for you, but I'm your sister and I know you loved him. If you ever want to talk, you know I'm going to listen."

"Not today though…" She held her breath and looked over towards Sasha, who was now playing with a toy she'd stashed away in her backpack. "Like you said, we need to go get my job back."

Tori wasn't entirely aware of the events surrounding Jesse's death, nor of their time together. She knew Beck had been responsible somehow, but nothing more than his involvement had ever been discussed. She knew him to be the reason Trina never dated either, not wanting to waste her time with love or romance when she had a child to focus on, as well as her job.

"When can we go?" She asked with hope of changing the subject. Tori never approached the topic out of respect for Trina's wishes. Trina could always see how much Tori wanted to know, to be there for her and to talk about that life. There was plenty the FBI knew on her and plenty Tori already knew, so much that she was shocked her sister was so readily able to forgive and help her try to heal.

"Just as soon as Ben gets back from court, he'll be able to look after Sasha then." There were times when Tori wouldn't be able to be home and Ben was down at the office or working a trial, so Trina would end up taking Sasha to work when that happened. It was allowed and Trina did _not_ trust anyone else around her daughter, so babysitters were out of the question unless it was Tori, Ben, Jade, or Jade's husband.

"Sounds good to me." She watched Tori grab the phone to call Jade. She had a bad feeling in her stomach that the boss was about to lose his job, but the man deserved it. Trina was asking about a possible raise in her pay since she'd been working harder, and he had the gall to suggest oral sex as a solution for earning a little extra pay. "So what's going to happen to my boss?"

"Remember that every supervisor has a supervisor above them, Trina." Tori put the phone to her ear and gently tapped her foot. "We will simply go to the top rung if we have to, put him on hot coals."

"Some of the other girls that work there said he does the same thing to them. And you know what? There's one woman working there who could do the job better, but never gets recognition!"

"All viable things to discuss…" Tori lifted a finger, "Jade's on." She walked off to the side and Trina moved over to the couch, sitting beside Sasha.

The young girl smiled at her and leaned into her, "You're going to go back to work Momma?" Trina ran her hand through Sasha's hair, feeling her heart skip in her chest.

"Yes baby. I'm going to go back."

"What about the mean boss?"

Trina looked over to Tori, who was throwing her hand in the air as she spoke in a rapid tone to Jade. "I think your Aunt is handling it." There was no doubt in her mind, when Tori grew passionate about something, she got stuff done. Probably, she wouldn't even be here now if it wasn't for Tori. If there was anyone in life she was more grateful to, she didn't know.

"She handles a lot of stuff doesn't she, momma?"

"Yes, because she loves us. We owe her a lot…"

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So it begins, several months ahead. There's going to be a family in here that some of you may recognize and you may not. Let's just say Trina won't be single _forever_, Sasha will get a dad eventually but it'll take some time. That's only a small portion of what's to come. The biggest part is Trina trying to get on her feet and to be a good mom. A lot of the way Trina is with Sasha, doing the best she can and trying to do whatever it takes is sort of a tribute to my mother. That being said, Trina _does_ have a fake name she uses (though those close to her as said in the chapter do know her) "Sherry" was my mother's name.


	2. Get Back to Work

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

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Chapter 2 (Back to Work)

"When your husband is one of the top prosecuting attorneys in the state, you get stuff done," Tori remarked as Trina followed her and Jade into the office of her former boss. Along with them was her boss's superior, who had just interviewed with the barmaid that deserved the managerial position.

The thin man at the desk looked up with his ashen face and frowned when he saw his boss. His eyes darted to Trina, and he further shrank in his chair. "W-What is this?" His supervisor, a balding man of fifty, stepped forward and crossed his arms. "Mr. Howe, sir, what do I owe this visit to?"

"I've been alerted of a serious issue, Tim." Mr. Howe narrowed his sharp gaze onto Tim and set his fingers on the top of a nearby empty chair, slowly tapping the edge. The man rose above everyone in the room, clearl pissed off with the news he'd heard. He was a proud owner of the _Spice's Bar and Grill_ restaurant, with small stores open throughout New York. "One of my managers has been harassing his female employees and denying promotions to employees who more than earn it from their hard work." Tim chuckled nervously as Mr. Howe's mouth fell to a low growl. "My employees are meant to embody customer service, kindness Why did it take an FBI agent to tell me otherwise about you?"

"FBI, sir?" Jade and Tori both flashed their badges and Tim grew dangerously pale. Trina pointed out with confidence her relation to Tori, then went on to explain who Tori's husband was. Tim whimpered as Mr. Howe let out a deep growl.

"I do not want any lawsuits, Tim. If an employee asks you for a raise, or even a promotion, you do so on _conduct_. If they are an exemplary employee, if they are loyal and devoted to the company and you feel they deserve a raise, you give it to them." Tim bowed his head and began muttering as his boss pointed towards the door. "You are fired, you no longer have a place here." The man gasped out and immediately started shaking his head. His eyes were wide and his body trembling.

"N-No, I can't lose my job, sir. You-" Mr. Howe deflected the frantic blubbering and waved his hand into the air, silencing Tim.

"You should have thought about that before making your suggestive comments to the staff. If it was just this one lady here, I'd consider just suspending you without pay for a week or two, but it is nearly every employee here that I have asked prior to this meeting. We run a business founded on teamwork, do you understand me? There's no more room for you here."

"Just go out with grace," Trina remarked, "I won't press charges if you just leave." She felt Tori nudge her and silenced immediately. Her eyes rolled over as her sister reprimanded her with a glare. Mr. Howe chuckled and turned to her.

"Would you mind returning to your job, Miss Vega? I have heard good things about you from the other employees. You have a daughter you bring here as well?"

"On occasion." Trina straightened herself and looked directly into the CEO's eyes. She needed to keep an honest answer as well as not piss anyone else off, though pissing people off was usually her last concern. "I live with my sister and her husband, and I have a four year old daughter that comes with me when Tori and her husband are not able to watch over her."

"Where does she stay when she is here?"

"There is a table closest to the waiter's station and cook's window, I let her stay there and color or draw on some paper." Sasha was well behaved and would stay right there for the majority of the shift or until Tori got home and had to come pick the child up. "I don't trust anyone else to look after Sasha unless they're someone I know personally."

"You've not run into any trouble?"

"No sir. Except I had been told by Tim that if I wanted to keep bringing her here, I'd have to do certain 'jobs' for him." She looked to her former boss, who was now leaning over his desk and burying his head into his hands and rubbing his temples with his palms. "So I quit. I have low tolerance for being disrespected and as my sister tells me, it's better to avoid getting into a fight…" She glanced to Tori, smirking slightly at the girl. Tori sighed heavily and pushed towards the desk.

"As previously stated my husband _is_ a prosecuting attorney, and he has dealt in sexual harassment cases." Tim met Tori's ferocious eyes with a quiet whimper. "I think you know what the law is regarding sexual harassment." Tim muttered under his breath and swayed to the right. His hand ran over his forehead while his eyes took a dull appearance.

"Fine." He clasped his hands together over the desk and looked up to Mr. Howe. "But you'd have to find someone to replace me."

"Done," Howe replied gruffly. He leaned out of the doorway and snapped his fingers. "Venturi!" Trina looked to the door as the bartender made her way over. The woman walked in, adjusting the nametag on her chest. She had long brown hair, and a soft expression. She was also a good friend of Trina's who knew some tidbits about her life, such as her name not being 'Sherry'.

"You called for me, Sir?" Casey asked with a warm smile. Casey actually still went by MacDonald, but considering her parents had married years ago, she let people call her by Venturi. They were a cool group of people, though Trina had only ever met and spoken with Casey's brother, Derek, who came in to order a steak from time to time.

Casey met Trina's gaze and started to smile. When Trina left earlier, it had been Casey to ask her to try and stay if she would.

"I need you on the ball Miss Venturi." Howe locked his wrists behind his back and looked sharply into the woman's eyes. Casey snapped her gaze to the boss while everyone else silenced. "You manage the bar, so I assume you know everything about the bar?"

"Yes sir. We have a new daily special every day, today's daily margarita is the passion margarita with a hint of mango and passion fruit. We have a special going on right now on our draft beers-" Mr. Howe held his hand up, impressed.

"Now you know the menu? Dinner and lunch?"

"Like the back of my hand sir."

"What is this store's monthly revenue?" Casey recited the revenue for the store, then subtracted how much they were paying to buy the food for preparation. She was also asked the wages of the cooks and waitresses. Tim had it set up that the men were making a full dollar extra than the women.

"All our waiters and cooks should be paid the same." Casey's eyes flickered over to Trina and her expression grew serious. "Every day we're losing more and more of our female employees-they're just quitting because of our supervisor's actions and comments. People don't want to work here. If people don't want to work here, then that means less people to serve our customers. If we have a shortage of employees, customers will stop coming, and it's only downhill from there, sir."

"You are right." The man rubbed his chin and looked towards Tim, taking a long pause before returning to Casey. "Tim is out. You know what leadership takes, so I want you to take his place." Trina grinned as the woman's eyes widened and her lips curved upwards at the opportunity. "You'll have to go through some training, so I'll have one of my other store managers meet with you regularly. Will you take the offer?"

"Y-Yes sir!" Casey looked back out the door and took a deep breath. "Customers are piling up at the bar, sir, if you don't mind-"

"Yes go and take care of them. I will be back with you in a moment."

"Thank you, and thank you for the offer."

The man smiled as she hurried back to her post. "Of course." Trina was happy for her friend, and now she was truly considering a return to this job. With Tim gone and Casey the supervisor, she was comfortable re turning. "Now. Miss Vega? I don't believe I received an answer from you yet. Will you come back or are you going to look for employment elsewhere?"

"I'll come back," she replied. She didn't know why it was she enjoyed working as a waitress, though it wasn't a permanent career choice for her. She attributed it to Jesse's sub shop, though. Which, ironically, she never worked at a Subway restaurant. She would be a shoe in for that. "I enjoy work here, the customers are great and the staff has made me feel more welcome here than anywhere else I've worked at."

Pleased with the answer, Mr. Howe gave her a smile and extended his hand for a handshake. She gripped his hand, meeting his eyes and taking in the firmness of his grip. It was the handshake of a leader. "Good to hear, I'm glad we have you on as an employee still." She pulled her hand back and the man looked out to the bar. "Tell me, have you run the bar before?"

Only when Casey was overwhelmed by customers, she would help out. She'd worked here now for nearly two months, and Casey had taught her everything from how to pour a drink, mixing drinks, and throwing out the unruly late night customer while calling a cab. "Yes sir, I've learned a few things from Casey."

"I understand. I have a mind to place you as her replacement, but you would have to receive further training-perhaps she would be willing?" Her heart jumped up and a smile fought its way up to her face.

"I think so, she taught me all she could."

"I see." Trina looked out the door to see Casey popping the cap off a bottle of beer for a customer. The bar was surrounded, and the lobby of tables were filled. This was, of course, the busiest day for the restaurant. "If you would, go help Miss Venturi while we finish up here."

"Yes sir, and thank you sir." Trina made haste out of the office and jumped when she heard the door shut behind her. Meeting Casey's gaze, she rushed to the bar. Casey set a beer down in front of one of the customers and flashed a smirk.

"So you're back?"

"For sure."

"Glad to hear it." She laughed as her friend pat her shoulder and walked over to the cash register to ring up a receipt. "It's about time someone stood up to Tim."

"Yeah, well…it wasn't me, really." Her shoulders slumped as she watched the printer shoot out a receipt. Casey grabbed the paper and walked over to one of the customers, setting it and a pen down. Trina pulled a rag from under the counter and threw it over her shoulder. "Tori's the one that urged me to come back, but I had to anyway. I need a job, I have to take care of my daughter. I just…have anger issues when it comes to other people like Tim."

"I think we all do." Tim reminded Trina a lot of Wesley Craven, and that was an issue for her. "So what is Mr. Howe saying? Tim's been fired?"

"Yes. He also wants me to work the bar in your place, maybe with you training me." Casey flashed a grin and nodded.

"That sounds great! Although, I honestly think you're more fit for a managerial position." She laughed at the statement while Casey merely put her hands to her hips and raised an eyebrow. "What? You don't believe me? You've got leader and manager written all over you."

"Yeah, you don't know the half of it." Her eyes drifted towards the door and Mr. Howe came to mind. _CEO. _She'd love to be _the boss_, but the thought of it frightened her. She could easily get job as a manger, or maybe she couldn't, she didn't know.

"You should do what's best for Sasha."

"I _always_ try and do what's best for her. That's what her dad would have wanted."

"You never talk about him. Why?" Her heart sank and her eyes drifted downwards as she watched a new customer sit down at the bar. Casey tended to the customer, and hearing the order, Trina went to make the drink.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Sure there is. What happened to him? Were you two married? In love? What?"

"It's personal, but yes we were in love. Never married-didn't get the chance." She still wanted to go back to LA, find Beck's grave and destroy it. "He was…" She closed her eyes and shook her head. Casey reached over, touching her wrist to calm her down and smiling reassuringly.

"Hey, it's okay, you don't have to talk about it." She set the drink down for the customer, who promptly thanked her. "Have you ever thought about dating again? Sasha needs a father figure in her life."

"No…besides, she's my primary concern." She started to shake a margarita for a second customer, narrowing her eyes at the metal container. "I don't have time to date, nor do I care to." Not when the last two people she was with were murdered. She felt like a black widow!

"Fair enough, but surely you don't want to be single forever."

"Love's overrated. No offense." Casey was engaged to someone currently, so she didn't want to upset the girl. Her friend laughed, clearly not worried.

"None taken. I'm just as happy with James as I can be. Anyway, I'm glad you're coming back to work, and glad you'll be working the bar."

She leaned on the edge of the back counter, gripping it with her fingers. She leaned her head to the right, sighing as her neck popped. "I think I'll miss waiting tables though." The only reason she was good at the bartender even though learning for a short time from Casey was due to Roger having taught her some tricks of the trade during her time on the Knights.

She did wonder about them, how the whole gang was faring. It broke her heart to think about, seeing as how so many people didn't survive, but she did. It was hard for her to believe in this second chance, but Tori was right, her baby needed her, and she needed her baby.

"You honestly think I'd be better as a manager?"

"You'd make more money than you would as a waitress or a bartender, so yes."

"Maybe I'll think about it. I don't know…" For her low tolerance it would also seem like a manager would be a better job than her than a waitress or a bartender. Both positions enabled the person to be hit on by customers that were either drunk or stupid, and she despised people that hit on their servers. Typically she worked through it and didn't concern herself with it, it wasn't their fault for doing it when drunk. She'd simply turn them down politely and move on.

"I can't see myself as a manager right now." Too many Knights flashbacks could come with that territory. At the same time she questioned, what was best for Sasha? Sasha needed that financial security, yes, but she also needed emotional security from her mother. "Would I be working too much as a manager? Would I be away from my daughter where I don't want to be?"

"You'll figure it out, I'm sure."

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See any names you may recognize that will soon be crucial characters? Anyway I gave you the second chapter since it was tied in to the first and I'm being nice since this isn't on daily update yet. Tell me your thoughts


	3. Disjointed Family

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

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Chapter 3 (Disjointed Family)

Late that night, Trina watched her daughter sleep after reading a bedtime story for her. The young girl was curled up with her stuffed toy and wearing her long pink bed gown. Trina had tucked her in and was now sitting in a rocking chair while studying her daughter's soft face in the glow of the moonlight from the window.

Sasha's lip were curved into a tiny smile and her curved eyebrows were arching happily. If only she could see into her daughter's dreams, she'd know what was making the sweet child so happy.

The door slid open and a crack of light spilled out from the hallway as Tori slid inside. Trina put her finger to her lips as her sister stood beside her, smiling at the child. "She's so happy no," Trina whispered, "She doesn't need to come to me because she's scared of someone hurting her mama." Her heart skipped out its beats as Tori put her hand to her shoulder.

"I'm glad."

"She still has nightmares sometimes." She leaned forward, watching as Sasha rolled onto her back. Her tiny hands moved up onto the pillow and her fingers curled inwards as the young child breathed easy. "Whether she's afraid of the Dunham gang or of people watching us. She's been through more than a four year old child should."

"She's got a strong mother though. If you ever wonder if you're doing anything right. The simple answer is yes, you are."

"But is it enough?"

"You're doing the best you can. Don't doubt yourself."

"I'm not, I'm just…I don't know, maybe scared. I'm trying to be a good mom, but there are so many things that I probably should do." No parent was perfect, and she knew she wasn't. Some things she couldn't do that she wanted and needed to do, but no matter what, Sasha loved her. Maybe that was where it was at, in her daughter's love and approval. "She asks questions that sometimes I can't answer."

"Like?"

"Like why she no grandparents." Tori frowned as Trina stood up and walked over to Sasha's bedside. She carefully pulled the blanket up to the child's chin, then leaned over to kiss her forehead. She whispered softly while running her fingers through the girl's delicate hair. "Sleep well, angel." Sasha's eyelids twitched and her face scrunched. The girl rolled onto her side and her smile grew.

The two sisters carefully left the room and Tori followed her out to the living room couch. "You don't know about Jesse's family?"

"Never met them. Jesse's real dad and stepdad are both dead. He doesn't know what happened to his mom, and told me that his mother had a son with another man that he's never met." Sasha could have an entire family she never met just because Jesse didn't know anything about his family. "To be honest, a part of me wants to find that woman. His mother, and maybe even that brother."

"Wouldn't be hard to do." Tori leaned forward and Trina raised an eyebrow. How could it _not_ be hard to do? She barely remembered the name of the woman Jesse described as his mom.

"Tori, I barely remember the woman's name. I just…" She leaned back and hung her elbows off the couch as her gaze drifted towards the hallway. Her lips curled into a frown and her eyelids closed over. "It's not the same with you and Ben."

"What do you mean?"

She took a deep breath. "I mean Ben's parents are both alive, and Sasha looks up to them but they're not _her_ grandparents. They're nowhere close to her grandparents." Tori looked away for a moment, sighing heavily. She felt a little guilt for her statement, but it was true. Sasha even brought it up to her, questioning where her real grandparents. "They're your in-laws, they'll be your baby's grandparents and then they won't even treat Sasha like theirs."

"I understand your point, but-"

"Our mom and dad are gone, Tori. Right now it's just Sasha and myself. Of course you love her because she's your niece, but you said it yourself: You're not going to be able to be around forever. You need to focus on your own family." Tori reached over, patting Trina's wrist. Trina looked up into her sister's reassuring gaze, but still felt a wave of sorrow overcoming her.

"I'll always be here for you two, and you know that."

"No. you won't. Not in the same way." How could she explain this in a way that would make sense not only to her sister but to herself? "You will be there, but you also have a husband, a baby on the way and a good career. I'm a single mother trying to make ends meet and I have to take my child to work nearly every other day. She doesn't have family besides you and me, and she's going to wonder why. How can I tell her?"

"She knows you were a part of a gang…"

"But she doesn't know her grandparents and her father died because of gang activities, and I'm not going to be able to explain that to her."

"I'm able to raise a family of my own and be close. What's so great about having grandparents?" Trina looked in shock at her sister, who stammered for a second. "I mean-yes that came out wrong-but Sasha's fine with Ben's family."

"This coming from the same person who has been trying to tell me all this time that Sasha needs a father?"

"That's different!" Tori pat her leg and leaned back as Trina flashed a subtle smirk. "A father can provide in ways that a mother can't. Anyway, it has been five years now, Trina."

"I won't date again, simple as that. Non-negotiable." She crossed her arms and watched her sister's hand move up to her forehead. "You might think I'm being stubborn, but I have good reason. Both Sinjin and Jesse were murdered, both died _in my arms."_

"It's not going to happen to you again. Sasha needs a father in her life. You should know yourself-you'd be much different as a person if not for our Dad's influence in our lives. There are ways a daughter views a father figure that shape how her self-image is or how she views men in general."

Trina rolled her eyes and glanced away. She wasn't so much annoyed as she was tired. "Don't lecture me right now, Tori…" Her sister frowned and slowly lifted her shoulders.

"Sorry. I just think that for a child they need to see interaction between a husband and wife, that's going to be the first relationship they ever see and it's going to be the one they base their own future lives around. It's a healthy marriage, a healthy family life-don't you think that's the one you'd want your daughter to see?" Trina scoffed.

"What Sasha's seeing is a broken up family, Tori. She's seeing a mom with no husband living with a sister who has a husband and soon a kid with an entire family while she has only her mom. You think I don't worry about her image of a normal home? I'd love for her to have a father to be her rock or whatever, for her to be a daddy's girl-and if Jesse were still around she would probably be a daddy's princess. But that's not a possibility, Tori…and I'm not going to put myself out there to lose out again."

"I understand. I'm just concerned, for both of you." Trina bowed her head as Tori reached over and rubbed her back. After a few seconds, Tori pulled away and looked up to a nearby clock. "You're right though, Lucas and Melanie are looking forward to their first grandchild. Jacob's happy to be an uncle. He and his wife are trying to have a child of their own, so my son's going to have cousins by way of him, but Sasha's also his cousin, don't you forget."

"I know. But besides you and besides your son, Sasha doesn't have any immediate bloodline relatives."

"You don't really know that."

"Pretty sure I do."

"Either way blood doesn't make family."

"No, I know it doesn't. What does is the interaction, the love. You and Ben will always love your niece, his parents, his brother, they won't. Hell, his mother thinks the reason Sasha doesn't have a father is because I slept around and don't know who the father is!" Tori winced as Trina crossed her arms, glaring angrily.

"That's not…well, okay maybe she's a little judgmental. She doesn't know you, though."

"For some fucked up reason, old women think that a girl my age that is single and with a child makes her a slut. Why that is, I will never know."

Silence filled the room as the two sisters looked idly in opposite directions. Trina didn't know what to say, and of course she knew Tori to be right on everything she was saying. As far as her dating again, Tori had a point as she often did, Trina seemed more afraid of losing someone the same way she lost Jesse or Sinjin than she was concerned with the future. She didn't want to suffer the emotional pain again.

Tori finally spoke after several minutes, keeping her voice at a quiet tone, so as not to disturb the silence. "Trina?"

"What."

"What did Jesse ever tell you about his mom?"

"Not much. Just that she had difficult marriages."

"Did he ever tell you her name?"

She strained herself to remember, finally able to recall the information in brief. "Linda. Linda Klein was her married name towards Jesse's dad. She divorced him and married someone else that also died-Jack Vincent, I think. She left LA at some point of time, Jesse never saw her again."

"And when did she live in LA with her first husband?" Not seeing where her sister was going with this, she shrugged and gave a nonchalant response.

"Around 1990, stayed there several years. I think she was born there. Why?"

"Just wondering. He never said much about her, huh? Ever say anything about his father?"

"Ralph Klein…Not really, he led the Knights before Jesse did, pretty much indicted Jesse into the gang. The man was assassinated. Far as I remember, the guy was an asshole." She snapped her fingers, recalling another old discussion with Jesse. "He also had an uncle. Uncle Gene or something." Her heart sank and she moved her arms to her legs, hanging her hands loosely between her knees. "He was killed during a gang fight, but wasn't a part of either gang."

"Sounds like Jesse had a lot of tragedy in his life."

"He did. I guess that's one reason he and I meshed so well together." She pushed herself to her feet with a loud yawn. When she looked to Tori, she could see the questions forming in the girl's mind. Even now, she still wasn't ready to talk about Jesse. "Just know, it's going to take a lot for me to move past him. We loved each other to the point that he was the one person that made me feel like I ever had a chance in hell of being safe. When he died…I don't know, a part of me died too that day."

"I'm sorry, Trina."

"Yeah. I'm going to get some sleep. I need to wake up early tomorrow and get Sasha to preschool. Goodnight."

"Goodnight. See you in the morning, sis."

"You too" She walked back to the hallway and towards her bedroom, which was straight across from Sasha's room. She took one last look at her daughter's room and smiled calmly. As nervous as she was in raising Sasha, she was also confident they'd be okay. She just had to keep trying her best, and hopefully, they'd be able to have a full, normal, stress free life. If it was possible, of course.

* * *

So what are your thoughts? Oh by the way, we may eventually get to meet Jesse's famous mother-maybe. So we do see some issues regarding family for Trina and Sasha. While yes you do not have to be blood to be family (it's all in the interaction) Ben's family doesn't exactly view Trina and Sasha as "theirs", which is unfair but nothing can be done about it-which is why Trina does feel that lack of family connection. Literally the only family that she and Sasha have would be Tori and Ben.


	4. Working the Bar

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N: since I'm pretty sure everyone that's going to check this out has done so already, here's chapter 4 for ya.

* * *

Chapter 4 (Working the Bar)

Her first day working behind the bar was a fairly slow day, and much different than working the tables. In the same way she saw a lot of different people and personalities, but at the bar, the difference in what part of their personality someone gave off was flagrant. Rather than well dressed and connected families, she saw men and women of all sort. Some laughed, some were silent, some even got into verbal exchanges with one another. There would be arm wrestling matches at one end of the bar while the other end might involve belching contests between two complete strangers.

The waiters were consistently helpful for her, checking on her every now and then and coming to take over for five minutes so she could check on her daughter, who was currently at her usual table with a coloring book.

As she wiped down a spill on the bar, she heard a clattering noise to the right. One of the patrons nearly knocked over a glass of beer. She straightened herself up and frowned as the man emptied his glass. He wiped his mouth with his arm and lifted his glass. "Another drink please, bartender!" He let out a hiccup and Trina shook her head while grabbing another drink.

She filled it with clean water and moved over, setting the drink gently down on the bar and speaking with a calm, but firm voice. "Why don't you try some of this." The man looked towards the water with meekness in his eyes.

"Am I that drunk already?"

"I'm afraid so." She knew as bartender it was her job to cut people off when they started to appear drunk. There was never any limit on how much to give someone, because alcohol consumption as well as intoxication was different for everyone. "Try to sober up and when you're ready, I'll call you a cab."

The man grumbled and took the drink. "Thanks." The man took a sip and scanned the bar. "Where's the usual barkeep?"

"She's been promoted, so I'm taking over for her."

He smiled, slurring over his words. "You're pretty." She chuckled softly and gave him a polite smile to cover up any sarcasm.

"And you're charming as well." She walked to the other end of the bar, grabbing up one of the empty glasses. This brought back many memories of Roger and the bar he used to own. She wondered how he and Rachel were faring these days.

As she used her rag to clean out a glass, she leaned against the bar and looked to the television on the wall. President Bannister was giving a press conference. He was up for reelection in the 2020 presidential term. One thing was certain, he had her vote. A female patron was watching as well, Trina heard the woman respond to someone that disagreed with something the president had done. "He's done a damn good job!" the woman chortled, "He put a stop to the city crime waves. I'd say he's the best president we've had."

"I bet you're drunk already!" Another patron joked. "What right does he have sending US troops into our cities?"

"Marshall law. It's about time someone did!"

She rolled her eyes at the conversation and moved over to the sink, still opting to remain silent. It wasn't her intention to involve herself in something like this, especially with her view. If not for President Bannister's order, the FBI and military would never have gone into LA, and she'd still be stuck there with her daughter.

"Hey," Casey called out to her, waving Trina off as she made her way over. "Take a break, I'll watch the bar for you." Trina thanked her and pointed to the customer with the water.

"That guy's had about six drinks and is starting to look and act drunk. I've given him some water and told him we'd call a cab when he's ready to go."

"All right. Thanks for the heads up." Trina nodded and walked over to where Sasha was. The girl looked up from her drawing with a bright smile. "Momma look I colored a butterfly!" The young girl held up the coloring book, showing off her work.

The butterfly had pink wings and a purple body with green antennae. The wings had red and brown scribbles on them, and the coloring was completely out of the lines. Trina sat down in the chair across from her and gently took the book from Sasha as she studied it. "It's beautiful, sweetheart."

"Look on the page before it, mommy." She flipped the page back and gushed at the drawing of a ballerina with a blue tutu, green leggings and brown red hair. "I always see dancers with pink tutus, so I went for something else."

"It's a beautiful picture, dear. You know something? Your father did that a lot, trying to do things differently than anyone else."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Sasha took the coloring book back and flipped over to a clean page. Trina watched the girl focus on the drawing for a minute, chewing at the back end of her pencil like Jesse used to do. In so many ways she embodied her dad, reminding her of Jesse every single day. It was in the way she laughed, her determination to get something done, her patience when listening to someone speak or trying to solve a problem. Sasha even had her father's smarts, and could sweet talk just about anyone.

Although that might just be the young child charm she had.

She leaned her shoulder against the wall and looked to the entrance to the restaurant. They opened up and a man with a sharp gaze and brown biker jacket walked in. He had shaggy brown hair that waved down along the back of his neck and curled over the tops of his ears. He was wearing long blue jeans overlapping with his black shoes, and beneath his jacket was a red shirt.

Trina recognized him as Casey's older stepbrother, Derek Venturi. He was a piano teacher at a local high school, and considered to be the cool teacher that drove a motorcycle. He was always visiting with Trina whenever he came to the restaurant, being friendly as she was a friend of his sister's. Despite having rejected him when he asked her on a date, he still talked to her like nothing happened.

She wasn't sure whether this persistence was charming or foolish.

Sasha saw him as well and instantly waved at him, "Hi Mr. Venturi!" She winced as Derek looked over and waved in return, smiling back at the two. He got along with Sasha well when she was over, even once offering to eat his steak at her table the first time the girl was over when the restaurant was truly busy. He enjoyed keeping her distracted from the horde of customers.

Derek looked over to the bar and stopped in the middle of the restaurant, spreading his arms out to the sides. "Casey! I thought you'd been promoted to head manager? What happened?" Casey looked over and smacked the rag on the bar. Trina couldn't help but to laugh. It wasn't uncommon for the siblings to annoy each other.

"I did, and don't shout in front of the customers. If you want to talk, move yourself up to the bar! You do not need to be the center of attention."

"Oh but dear sister, yes. Yes I do."

The only reason she'd never met any of Casey's other relatives was because they were the only two living in New York. Although, they were in separate towns. Casey lived in the middle of the city, Derek lived in the outskirts where he could ride his Harley on the dirt roads away from other people.

Their parents, George and Nora still lived in Ontario with their two youngest children, Marti and Simon. The middle children, Edwin and Lizzie were attending their final semester of college in Vancouver and were considering a move to the states. According to Casey, Derek moved to New York because he wanted to transfer to a college here, she moved to New York for her now fiancé.

Sasha jumped out of her chair, grabbing her book and started for Derek, much to Trina's annoyance. "Derek look what I colored!" Sasha jumped up and Derek crouched, smiling at the book. Trina exhaled sharply and made her way over. She couldn't chastise her daughter because he wasn't a stranger, and she hadn't done anything wrong, but she was miffed that it meant having to cross paths with the guy. Not that she didn't like him, she was friendly for a reason.

"It's a beautiful drawing," Derek replied. He pat Sasha on the head and chucked softly. "You should meet my sis, Marti. She's an aspiring artist, she loved to draw when she was a kid."

"And yet your family never comes to New York," Trina said in amazement. David rose up and shrugged his shoulders.

"Dad wanted me to be a lawyer like him and everyone thought Casey was going to be a doctor. It's only been a couple years, so it's not like there's any big issue, we still talk to them regularly."

Casey walked over, having given the bar to one of the waiters with a bartending license-most of the waiters here had one. "Well you talk to them, anyway, they're proud of you for at least _teaching_. I haven't heard from them since we finished college."

"Right." Derek clicked his tongue and crossed his arms as his lips curved into a subtle smirk. "Well they are proud of you for becoming a manager. I did tell them the news."

"Look. The job makes me happy, I'm comfortable here."

Trina looked between the two siblings and reached down, patting Sasha's shoulder. "Come on sweetie, let's go back to the table."

"Okay," Sasha agreed and rushed back to the table. Trina followed her, knowing it was best not to get in between sibling arguments. She already knew the story. Everyone expected Casey to be something great, then she decided she wanted to be a bartender while pursuing a management type job at some restaurant. They were angry, all of them blamed Casey's fiancé, but Derek didn't seem to mind. Casey did have a master's degree in child psychology, but she didn't feel she could find jobs there.

After a few minutes, Casey returned to the bar and Derek walked over to Trina's table, taking a seat across from Sasha and Trina. "Sorry about that," Derek remarked. Trina shrugged as Sasha continued to draw.

"It happens. Why are your parents so upset?"

"Neither Casey or I followed their plans. They're not upset so much as they don't know how to react. Not to mention they don't want to uproot to New York. They think Casey's fiancé is forcing her to accept mediocre jobs, but he's not." Derek set his right forearm on the table and peered down at Sasha's book. After a second, he snapped his fingers and looked up to Trina. "Now I remember what I wanted to tell you."

"What?"

"You remember talking about how Sasha was interested in gymnastics and you might want to let her get involved in something?" Trina's eyebrows curled upwards and Sasha stopped what she was doing to listen. "Mrs. Reiner, one of the teachers at the high school has opened up a gym and dance school for girls ages four to twelve."

"Oh?" She nudged Sasha, "You hear that?" Sasha grinned. Sasha loved to watch the Olympics and even dance shows, to the point that she often wanted to join. Not to mention she knew her mom had been involved in gymnastics in her childhood, so that was a major contributing factor. "Maybe we'll check the school out."

"Can we, Momma?" She lit up with pride as her daughter hugged her arm. Derek laughed and Trina looked over to him graciously.

"Her school is open from eight to six Monday through Friday." He reached into the chest pocket of his jacket and set a business card down in front of Trina. "There's her phone number and contact info. She was handing them out to all the faculty with children. I thought of you two, so I asked her for one, said you had a daughter that was interested in gymnastics as well as dancing, so she asked that I tell you to stop by anytime you like."

Trina picked up the card and read the information. It was a thoughtful gesture, and she truly appreciated it. Though she was just as scared of sending her daughter to something like this as she had been when Sasha first started preschool. Separation anxiety was a killer. "I appreciate this, Derek. Thank you."

"No prob."

"In the meantime…" Her eyes flickered to the bar where Casey was leaning into her palms on the surface of the counter, glaring at her. "I think I've been on break long enough, Casey's looking like she wants me to get back to work." She stood up after hugging Sasha and asking if Derek wanted some food. "Will you have your usual?"'

"Yes please."

"I'll tell the waiter." She walked towards the bar, stopping when she met up with the waiter in charge of that particular table. "Derek Venturi's ordering the usual."

"Usual? New York Strip, right?"

"Correct." Trina crossed her arms, tapping her foot as she waited for the waitress to recite and write down the order. She struggled for a second and looked up to Trina, who continued for her. "Glazed carrots and broccoli, baked potato with chili and beans on top. Red wine merlot, and make sure the steak is cooked medium rare." She tried to memorize all the regular customer's orders, and most of the servers had Derek's usual meal down.

"Got it!" The server returned her pen and thanked her.

"Also give my daughter a kid's menu. She needs her dinner as well." The server nodded and looked to the hostess stand. "When you go, suggest any item except for the ones involving nuts. She is allergic to nuts and shellfish."

"Yes ma'am."

"Typically she just has chicken fingers and mozzarella sticks, but you need to show her the menu options." With that, the server took off to grab a menu from the stand, and Trina returned to the bar. "Sorry about the wait, Casey."

"It's fine," Casey replied, "I just need to get back to the office and check on things. Not to mention, Adam has been calling my phone." Casey swept her hair over her shoulder and shook her head. "I think he's forgotten that I'm working a couple extra hours."

"All right. I'll take it from here then."

"Thanks."

* * *

Your thoughts my friends


	5. The Dance School

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 5 (The Dance Academy)

After her shift, Trina drove to the address of Mrs. Reiner's dance academy. Sasha cooed from the back seat. She parked in a space up front and began to pull her hair back into a ponytail as she studied the building. It was a simple white stone building with the name in a large sign at the top. The doors were glass sliding doors, and people were currently walking in and out. "It looks humongous mommy."

"It does." She left the car and opened the back door, letting Sasha hop out of the vehicle. To her right, she saw someone standing on the streets, staring at her. He was in his younger twenties, wearing a black cap and a white muscle shirt with baggy track pants. His upper arms and neck was covered with tattoos. Sasha saw him too and immediately grabbed her leg.

"Who's that, Mommy?" It was likely someone that thought she looked familiar. If he was in a gang, it was possible, but she hadn't encountered trouble yet. Besides, with President Bannister having cracked down hard on crime, it was extremely difficult for gang members to make themselves known, since now they could be arrested just for being a part of a gang! Finally, someone was doing something about the gang issue and scaring the rats into hiding and scaring people out of joining gangs. A man that cared about the country was in office for a change, and to that, Trina wished he had a longer term limit.

"Just ignore him, honey. He won't do anything."

"Okay…" Trina guided her daughter into the building and stopped off at the receptionist who pointed the way to Mrs. Reiner's class down the hallway. When they reached the room, they saw a group of young girls practicing squats and pirouettes. In front of the group was a woman wearing a black leotard covering her full body, and tight black pants. Her blonde hair was up in a bun.

"E-Excuse me?" The woman stopped and looked over her shoulder, smiling politely at Trina. "I'm looking for Mrs. Reiner." The woman looked young, as if in her late twenties to early thirties. She had a narrow face with high cheekbones and pleasing brown eyes with plump red lips. She was very thin looking and had long eyelashes.

"You found her! I'm Debbie Reiner." The woman laughed and walked over to Trina. "Can I help you with something?" Sasha hid nervously behind Trina, hugging her right leg as she gazed out shyly at the class. Trina casually stepped out of the way, but Sasha gasped and flew back behind her. Debbie smiled at the girl. "And who is this precious angel?"

"My daughter." Sasha looked up at Debbie, then towards Trina. "I was hoping to enroll her. What can you tell me about your school? You teach both Gymnastics and Dance?"

"I combine the two. Dance and Gymnastics go hand in hand, both are considered to be the same by a variety of people. Predominantly I prefer gymnastics, and as the students progress I let them decide which of the two they want to focus on." Sasha slowly stepped out from hiding, watching the girls practice. "I teach multiple classes a day at different levels. Payment varies upon age and level, as well as the time of the class. The younger children have a forty five minute class, for instance, that can go up to sixty dollars a month."

It wasn't something that she couldn't afford, though she was nervous still. She folded her arms and closed her eyes. "I guess that means leaving my child in your care…"

"A lot of parents have separation anxiety, that's why I let the parents sit in and watch if they want to."

"What do you teach the younger ones?"

"Mostly confidence building. Many children that start are shy as your daughter appears, so it's important to build confidence for them. That's done with positive reinforcement and the social aspect. We teach what they can handle, I prefer not to get them involved in complex activities until they are at least six years of age."

'"Okay." Trina took a deep breath and looked down to Sasha. "Sasha is four and in preschool. Preschool is hard enough, but I think it's mostly me not wanting to let go more than anything. She's shy, and maybe a little sheltered…"

"I understand, she's young as well. It will be healthy for the both of you, I think, if you're willing to relinquish the reins just a tad." Trina felt a pull to do just the opposite, but the more she watched Sasha, the more she saw her little girl growing fond of the students and trying to mimic their poses. First instinct was to grab and run, but the teacher was right, she needed to pull back some.

"I'll be able to do that, but I may have to warn you, it can be a lot harder for me than most mothers. Sasha and I are…well it's just difficult. I don't even get a babysitter, I don't usually trust anyone outside my own family with her."

"You would be surprised by the many moms and dads that we have like that." Debbie pat her back and guided her to the wall. Sasha looked over her shoulder for a minute, then returned to the students. The young girl mirrored another, lifting her hands above her head and trying a spin, falling over in the process. Trina started to rush over, but stopped when she saw Sasha pick herself up and continue on as if nothing happened. "It's a protective instinct, a natural concern for all parents, but I can assure you that my students are well cared for. We even operate a full daycare for the working parents."

"I see…" That was tempting, but she definitely didn't want to be one of those parents that never saw her child. Though the daycare aspect _was_ a good thing to fall back on if she needed it. "And security? How's that?"

"We have police officers and security guards posted throughout." Debbie raised an eyebrow and moved her hands to her hips. "You're familiar with President Bannister's new law?"

"The security act?"

"Yes. Every place of business, _especially schools_ are required to have _at least_ ten security guards posted. The security personnel are required to have police training and required to carry a weapon." Trina moved her hand to her chest and drew out a quiet breath.

"Yeah, my dad was a police officer. He and President Bannister would have gotten along. I've often wondered why the president is the way he is…"

"I think it's because President Bannister started out a police officer himself before he moved into government. It's so good though to see a president in office that is actually willing to get things done, and can convince congress to do what is necessary for our country and the future of our children." Trina nodded as Debbie turned to the students and smiled at them. "They really are the future of this country, and it's our job to do the best we can to protect, nurture, and bring them up in a safe world."

"That's what I want for Sasha, that she doesn't have to live in fear." She was convinced this would be a great opportunity for Sasha to do something she would enjoy and hopefully to build some confidence for the young child.

"I do have brochures at the front desk, and I'm able to answer any questions. Applications for enrollment are also at the front desk, if you'd like to grab one."

"Okay, I'll do that. I'll be right back." Sasha looked over and rushed to her side.

"Momma I like this place," Sasha remarked, "But are you going somewhere?" Trina crouched and looked into her daughter's anxious eyes.

"I'm not going far baby. Momma's going to grab an application from the front desk and fill it out right here. I think you're going to enjoy this place. Why don't you try talking to some of the girls here?"

"O-Okay momma…" Sasha often didn't trust someone unless she saw that her mom trusted them. That said, she only started to be comfortable around Casey or even Derek whenever Trina had done so. If it was said that children picked up on the signals of their parents, then it would seem the statement was true.

Making her way to the front desk, she'd already passed three officers patrolling the building. She felt safe and secure, especially after asking one about how they handled security. If someone was causing trouble, they didn't simply escort them out of the building, they escorted them to the police station nearby. No one joked around with security when it came to small children.

After making it to the desk, she saw the strange man again. Her wall went up as she narrowed a glare on him. The man walked up to her, rubbing his chin. "I'm sorry, but why is it you seem so familiar? I've been trying to place it."

"I don't know. I can assure you we've never met before, but you are bothering me."

"You wouldn't happen to know of someone named Trina Vega would you?" His voice lowered as he looked down, seemingly trying to convince himself of something. Her heart sped up and he shook his head. "No she was declared dead ages ago. You just look like her."

"My name is Sherry, and I have neither seen nor heard of anyone by the name of Trina Vega."

"Right, right, I'm sorry for the mixup." A couple security officers had rounded the corner and were watching the exchange closely. "I'll leave you alone now."

"Thank you." She stood her ground and watched as the man left. Once he was gone, she released her breath and grabbed the enrollment application. The security guards asked if the man was an issue and she explained he'd confused her for someone else.

The last thing she wanted was to be reminded of her old life. It wasn't who she was anymore. She made her way back to the classroom and took a seat in one of the plastic chairs as she filled out the form. Sasha was chatting with a couple of the girls, but only after they initiated contact. Regardless, Trina was more than happy to see her daughter starting to make friends already.

She couldn't wait to get back home and tell Tori the news. Her sister would probably question if she could handle Sasha going to preschool and a dance school. She had a hard time not questioning it herself, but perhaps after the first few classes she'd be able to decide if she could handle it.

The last thing she wanted to do was be one of those problem moms who could never let go of their child's hand without freaking out over everyone within the vicinity. She had to handle this with grace, but it brought a tear to her eyes to see that her little girl was starting to grow up. _"I only wish Jesse were here…to see it too…"_ She sniffled and bowed her head as Sasha practiced a crouch that the young girls were showing her.

* * *

So that's the academy. Yes Trina would love not to be one of "those" mothers. The sad fact is, she almost is, but then again, every single parent suffers through stages of separation anxiety when their child goes off. And to think, Sasha hasn't even hit kindergarten yet. Now _that's_ going to be fun.


	6. A Mother's Pride

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 6 (A Mother's Pride and Joy)

Trina sat with Tori and Ben, watching Sasha practice some of the moves she learned from Mrs. Reiner's class. Currently Sasha was holding onto a bar that Ben attached to the wall for her, and practicing her crouches. "If you ever went back to Hollywood Arts, would you enroll your daughter?" Tori asked while bringing her drink up to her lips. "Like if she were old enough to go."

"I don't think I would." Trina still hated Hollywood Arts, and it wasn't helpful that one of the biggest fights that took place in the gangs was there. Not only did it bring back memories of that time, it was also where she ended up killing the Scrapperz leader and inevitably bringing Beck into that leadership position. "Not to mention it just seems like most people that go there are arrogant, big-headed people who think they're better than everyone else." Tori hummed and nodded as Ben started to chuckle.

"The way I've heard Tori talk about that school, I'd think the same thing." Tori playfully smacked Ben's chest with the back of her hand.

"It wasn't _that_ bad. Trina just hates it because I may have acted less than sisterly to her back then." The woman paused for a moment and leaned over, setting her glass of water down on the coffee table with a slight grunt. "Although I do remember Mr. Sikowitz actually transferring out of that school, saying he'd never work there again. So maybe it was pretty bad."

Trina shook her head and looked over to Sasha, "Either way I don't want people giving my daughter a big head. I don't want her to start thinking of herself as better than everyone else and treating them poorly."

"She does have something you and I didn't, Trina."

"What's that?"

Tori leaned back against Ben and kicked her legs up onto Trina's legs. Tori's gaze fell flat and her lips descended into a thin line. "A mom to teach her wrong from right, to teach her to respect others and treat people the way they ought to be treated."

"Oh…yeah." Trina swept her hair over her ear and frowned, recalling Holly's affair. "You know the last thing she said to me, Tori?" Her sister tilted her head and Trina's eyes clenched shut. "She said 'a woman has needs too', trying to justify her entire affair." Tori reached over, patting her gently on the hand. Trina felt a warmth rising in her as her sister attempted to comfort her.

"You and I know better than her, though. We know because of her actions how _not_ to treat our children. She was neglectful, didn't care about us or her husband." Still, she didn't deserve what had happened to her. Sure, Tori said time and time again that it didn't matter anymore, but how could Trina forget the things she had done?

Ben hung an arm over his wife's shoulder and looked over to his niece for a moment. "Your father sounds like he was a good man though. I wish I would have gotten the chance to meet him. I think I might have liked meeting Jesse as well." Trina resisted a laugh at the thought of Jesse meeting Ben. Two people on such different ends of the spectrum? Not to mention, Jesse thought lawyers were only in it for money, not like police officers were, so he didn't have the same level of respect.

"Ben. Jesse would have eaten you alive." Ben raised an eyebrow and Trina leaned forward, grabbing up her bottle of Sprite.

"Why?"

She uncapped the drink and leaned back into the leather couch with a heavy sigh. "Because he would have asked you so many legal questions and nitpicked you so badly until you admitted that you were a lawyer for money, only out for yourself, despite that you are not." Ben's mouth opened and Tori lit up with amusement.

"I've never seen a gang leader trust a police officer more than a lawyer," she laughed.

"The only one he liked was Judge Judy." Back in the day she would watch daytime television with Jesse and Judge Judy would be on. Jesse would always cheer the woman on for putting someone in their place and usually agreed with her verdict. "Of course, she was a judge, but then all judges were lawyers at some point of time."

"Not all of us are in it for the money," Ben muttered under his breath, earning a laugh from both sisters. "It's a stressful job, just like police work. I think I'd rather be safe and secluded in my office, doing all the paperwork, rather than out there in the field getting shot at-no offense, honey." Tori kissed his jaw and folded her hands over her waist, chuckling at him.

"None taken, sweetie."

Trina shook her head at the two and looked away, holding back from laughing. Though she couldn't really laugh at them, they reminded her of something she wished she still had. Love. Not the love between a mother and child, but the love between a man and woman. What she had with Jesse, that she'd so chose to refuse to allow ever again. There wasn't a need for it, just as she didn't need a man in her life. She had a strong head on her shoulders, so she was perfectly happy with the way things were.

"Momma!" Sasha exclaimed happily, "Look at this!" Trina smiled as her daughter attempted a pirouette. The young girl had been trying so hard to perfect the move, despite it being something that was a tad more difficult than what Debbie Reiner wanted to teach a four year old child.

Sasha managed to make the spin, but stumbled over her feet, catching herself on the coffee table. Trina's heart sped into near panic, but seeing that her daughter managed to keep herself from falling into the table, she was okay. "Sasha please be careful sweetheart."

"Sorry Momma."

"You're doing good though!"

"Really?" Sasha's face lit up with joy and she clapped her hands once. "I am? You mean it?"

"Yes." Sasha squealed and turned to Tori.

"Aunt Victry, Uncle Ben, what do you think?"

"You look very beautiful and graceful," Tori replied. Sasha walked over to her and set her hands onto Tori's legs, smiling up at the woman. "Just remember that the spin is a hard thing to do."

"Can you do it?"

Tori put her hand to her chest and shook her head, whistling softly. "I'm afraid you have me beat on that. The minute I try is the minute someone's calling the doctor for me." Trina covered her growing smirk while imagining her sister attempting a pirouette and falling on her ass. The girl might have been a talented singer when she was young, but a dancer she was not. Nor was she a gymnast.

"What about you, Uncle Ben?" Ben shook his head.

"Not a chance." Sasha's eyes widened into astonishment and her mouth opened into a wide grin. "What else have you learned at Mrs. Reiner's class? Have you learned to balance yet?" Sasha did actually walk up on narrow paths, balancing herself at the parks and so forth. She'd never been the most perfectly balanced or even the most agile, but Trina felt Debbie could teach her these things.

"Yes sir. How about a split? I see girls doing splits and I can do one, but it's hard for me to get my legs out straight like the others."

Trina laughed and Ben started to cringe, "I would love to see your uncle try a split sweetheart." Ben wasn't exactly the most fit person. He was heavyset with a broad build and was used to sitting down. "Your father would have better luck than Ben." Sasha giggled and Ben shook his head. It was true, though Jesse was nowhere near nimble, the guy probably would be able to get much lower in a split than Ben.

Neither man would be getting back up, however.

"I go into a split, I'm done for."

"Mrs. Reiner says it takes practice. I'm working on my curtsey." Sasha took a step back, spread her arms a few inches from her waist and placed one foot behind her strong foot. She lowered, bending her knees and bowing her head. When she popped up, Trina and the others clapped for her. All this positive reinforcement was good for the girl, and Trina could see the effect it was having on her.

"I'm proud of you, Sasha!"

"Thanks momma!" Sasha took a deep breath and started to bounce on her ankles. She had to do some foot exercises on occasion, in order to strengthen her joints. "By the way, Mrs. Reiner says that when I get a little older I can decide whether I want to take gymnastics or dance classes. I want to do gymnastics more. Do you think I can do it, momma?"

"I think so. Did she say when you have that option?"

Sasha extended her arms out in front of her, pointing her fingertips together and twisting her torso to the right. "I think six years old."

"I'm surprised you don't have her taking a martial arts class," Tori pondered. Trina lifted her shoulders, still watching her daughter doing some stretching. "You started young."

"I didn't start when I was _four_. I might when she gets older, but if she wants to. I don't want to be one of those mothers that makes her daughter do everything that she didn't get to do when she was a child…You know, living out your own life through your children? Yeah, I can't stand those people. I want Sasha to grow into her own life, not doing everything that I did or did not do. I want her to have options in life, and to be able to make her own decisions."

"Makes sense." Tori pat her stomach and started to smile. "I want the same for my baby. That being said, I probably wouldn't put my son through Hollywood Arts either."

"It's one thing to try and live your failures through your children," Ben started, "It's another to hope and try to make sure they don't repeat the same mistakes. At the same time, they learn from their mistakes. If you shelter them, keep them from making mistakes, they won't learn or grow."

"Right." Trina leaned back and put her hands behind her head, watching as Sasha returned to the bar and continued to practice her leg stretches. "Except when she gets older and starts dating. She better not bring anyone home that looks like they belong to a gang, because _that_ will not be happening."

"Jesse didn't look like a gang member," Tori laughed. "He looked like a brooding hunk, but not a gang member. Even Beck didn't look like a gang member, so I think it's just hard to tell."

"Believe me, I will know. I will be asking questions to every guy she brings home. Mark my words, there will be interviews." Tori and Ben laughed as Trina sipped her drink. She didn't trust people enough _not_ to ask questions or suspect them of something.

"Trina, don't try to say you would have done things differently. You loved Jesse, and if you had to go back, I think you would still do the same thing you did then."

"Maybe. But there are also some things I would have done differently." Namely, she would never have let Beck close to them that day. She kept replaying that day in her head over the years, trying to think of what she would have done to change thing. Maybe she would have told Roger to physically stop Jesse from going to that hotel, maybe she should have knocked Jesse out and dragged him away before Beck could enact his plan.

One thing remained a constant, however. As her eyes connected with her daughter's warm, cheery gaze, she felt her heart rise up. The events leading to Sasha's conception she would never change. Yes she and Jesse had both been drunk, and yes it was what pissed Jesse off to the point of hunting down the very man that would kill him, bu t she'd do that part all over again if it meant having her daughter come into her life.

* * *

A nice pleasant talk it would seem.


	7. Separation Anxiety

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 7 (Separation Anxiety)

The following morning, Trina was up early as usual to prepare breakfast for Sasha. This morning was oatmeal. After scooping it into a bowl, she placed a marshmallow smiley face on it, then sprinkled some cinnamon on top. Along with the bowl was a plate of toast with a honey spread. Along with Sasha's meal was a glass of chocolate milk.

Sasha came running into the kitchen, sniffing the air as she hopped up onto the chair. Sasha was in her pajama set this time. A red shirt with pink bunnies and a collar folded over, and red pajama bottoms with brown teddy bear heads decorating them. "Good morning momma!" Trina walked over and set the bowl in front of Sasha, then hugged her daughter. Her breakfast was already at the table.

"Did you sleep well?" Trina sat down beside her daughter with her own bowl of oatmeal and toast. "Pleasant dreams?" She reached over to Sasha's collar, the left side of it was pointing upwards. Carefully, Trina folded it down into proper position.

"Yes." Sasha scooped up her oatmeal, eating around the edges first as she often did to preserve the smiley face first. Though it was also a habit that Jesse had often done whenever he ate, he never went straight for the center, always spiraling around the plate to take out the edges first and slowly make his way towards the center. "Is Aunt Victree taking me to preschool today, Momma?" The young girl was still chewing on her food.

Trina wagged a finger at her and spoke firmly before answering the question, "Sasha, what do I say about talking with your mouth full?" Sasha finished chewing and swallowed.

"Bad manners, sorry momma." The child breathed in and hung her spoon over the bowl. "Auntie said she was taking me to preschool today. Is she?" Trina would be working all day and Tori had the day off, so since she had to work it was up to Tori to drop her off.

"I'm afraid so dear. I'll be able to take you to your gym and dance class this morning, but after that, mommy works all day. Tori will have to pick you up."

"Okay." Sasha took another bite of her oatmeal, humming with delight. Sasha tapped her feet on the floor within rhythm of her chewing. Thankfully preschool wasn't long, and neither was Mrs. Reiner's dance academy. However, Sasha would be starting kindergarten in the fall. Typically a child should be the age of five before starting, but the elementary district they resided in already informed Trina that Sasha could enter in the fall.

She was terrified of school starting for her though, but she was slowly beginning to adjust to both the preschool and the gymnastics school, so she could definitely deal with a kindergarten class.

Trina had already memorized the entire schedule as well. Kindergarteners went from 8:30 in the morning until 2:00. Then first graders through sixth grade met from 8:00 to 3:00. Seventh grade through the Ninth was at a local junior high she was considering for Sasha's future met from 8:00 until 3:30. Then finally, a high school she strongly considered met from 8:45 until 4:00 from tenth to twelfth grades.

What was good was she could coordinate this with Debbie. Assuming Sasha remained with the academy, she could always take class after school and come straight home. Schedules were fun to have.

"I dreamed about daddy last night." Trina hummed and turned to Sasha with a small smile. The girl smiled back at her. "I was scared of something and Daddy to me not to be scared. Then I dreamed he was holding us, Mommy. Protecting us." She chuckled and slowly nodded her head.

"Yep, that sounds like your dad."

"But how can he protect us if he's not here, Momma? One of the others at preschool laughed because I didn't have a daddy." Trina's heart sank as Sasha looked down sadly. "They said I wouldn't be able to do things that are done with daddies. What does that mean?" Sasha looked up and brought her tiny eyebrows together. "Is something wrong with my family? They said something was wrong with my family."

"No baby, there's nothing wrong with you or your family." She put her arm around Sasha's shoulder and let her daughter lean into her. She wasn't going to say Sasha didn't need a dad, but she had no idea what to say as a response at all. Besides, it wasn't like Trina could just snap her fingers and get a man to be Sasha's father, there were a _lot _of requirements for the job, and first off she'd have to be willing to date! "All we need is each other, and we've got a pretty good family. Nobody can tell you otherwise." The young child threw her arms around her, hugging her tight.

"I love you, mommy."

After helping Sasha to get dressed and taking her to her first bit of classes, Trina hurried off to work. It was going to be a long day working the bar, and she was already feeling the sting of not having her daughter there.

Every so often her eyes would drift to the empty table and her heart would break. During the slow times with no customers, she'd sit with her elbow propped up and her hand against her face with her eyes lingering on that table.

In one of these moments, it was Derek that distracted her thoughts by sitting at the bar. She looked over to him and frowned. "What'll it be?" She asked.

"Just some water."

"Coming right up." She grabbed a clean glass and poured him some water.

"You look a little lost. Did you take Sasha to Mrs. Reiner's class?"

"Yes." She stood up straight and crossed her arms. "So now instead of being here with me she's either there or at the preschool." Derek laughed and she shot him a glare. "It's not funny."

"Sorry. You're going through separation anxiety. It's typical." 'Typical'? Just like that? It didn't feel typical to her.

"Yeah, imagine how it's going to be when she starts _kindergarten!"_ She groaned as an overwhelming fear came over her. "Tori's going to have a baby and I'll be stuck on my own during the days I don't have my baby with me. It's going to be a nightmare!" Not to mention things that would happen at school she couldn't protect her baby from, like evil scary teachers, mean children, and other safety hazards. "I can't guard her…"

Derek rubbed his neck, "Well you can't protect her from everything all the time, and besides, you have to let her grow. Do you have anyone experienced in this? I mean someone older that could give you some advice?"

"Not really…"

"I could call Nora, my stepmother. She's had three children before meeting my dad, so she definitely has some experience in that area." She looked towards the empty table, considering his suggestion. It wasn't a bad one, and yet the more she thought about her daughter not next to her, the sadder she felt.

"It couldn't hurt. I am technically on break, but there's no one else that can watch the bar."

Derek pulled his phone from his pocket and started to hit the keypad. "You know, since your sister is having a baby herself, it should help things a little."

"Or just remind me of when Sasha was a baby herself and keep me preoccupied with the fact that she's not around-yeah I don't see it as helping." Derek lifted a finger and moved his phone to his ear. Trina raised an eyebrow at him and leaned forward, arching her shoulders upright as he spoke to his own mother.

After a short minute of talking, he handed her the phone. She put it to her ear and watched Derek sip on his water. "Hello?" The woman on the other end sounded friendly but with a bit of a high pitched voice.

"H-Hi this is Trina." There was no use in using the name 'Sherry' towards this woman, both Casey and Derek probably referred to her as Trina. She was mildly uncomfortable in talking to the woman so suddenly "Derek said I should talk to you."

"Trina! Yes I've heard quite a bit about you. Derek says this is the longest you're going without your daughter?"

"Pretty much and she's not even in kindergarten yet."

"When does she start?"

"This coming fall. I'm terrified too because I'm dealing with this 'separation' thing now." She ran her hand through her hair and clenched her eyes shut. "It's not easy, especially knowing it's just going to be longer and worse when kindergarten starts. At least her preschool isn't _every day_."

"That is true, but it's also a good thing. Because you'll be ready for when kindergarten starts for her. Happens to everyone. But the thing is you have more time to yourself. Good and bad." She stalled in her thoughts and moved her hand to her elbow while gazing at the window.

"How is that good?"

"It gives you time to start a hobby or schedule in activities for yourself. For instance, take up something like baking or even a sports hobby."

"It has been a while since I've really been involved with martial arts. Then, maybe I could consider studying for some things…"

"Of course! Just give yourself a lot of stuff to do so you don't have to think about how much you miss your child. Doesn't always work, but it's a start. Go to the gym, spend time with friends-you have Casey and Derek there, you may as well spend some time with them during your spare time."

"I guess."

"Get to know her teachers too. Meeting with the teachers and having their contact information helps with being able to talk about activities and even with giving Sasha the right attention." She was already doing that with Mrs. Reiner, but she would keep it in mind for future teachers.

"So pretty much fill my time up with stuff to do and meet with teachers?"

"Essentially. Look, most importantly you _will_ get used to her not being there at all times." Trina started to smile as the woman's words relieved her of some of her tension. "It will get easier. Then, on the weekends, schedule in some family time with her, make family night a regular thing…"

"Yeah. I guess there's not much to be afraid of, right?"

"Not at all! You'll be fine, and so will your daughter. This feeling goes away after a couple weeks, don't worry."

"Yeah-thanks…" They talked for another few minutes before parting. She gave the phone back to Derek, thanking him. For the moment, she was okay. Though, she was tempted to call up Sasha's teacher and ask how she was going. "Your mom seems like she knows what she's talking about."

"I hope so, she had to raise a pretty big family." He smirked, causing a small smile to curl on Trina's face. He took another sip of his drink, then snapped his fingers. "Oh I just remembered something. I have a few tickets to an upcoming baseball game if you and Sasha would like to come." She exhaled sharply and Derek lifted his hand up in defense. "Not trying to ask you out or anything, I'm just trying to give you and your daughter something to do. Besides, I think she'd enjoy baseball." He tossed the tickets down on the bar and she peered down at them with uncertainty.

"I'll think about it. Sasha's never been to a ball game, and my dad played baseball when he was in high school, so who knows…maybe she would enjoy it."

"Well it's already in her blood if your father played." He smiled politely and leaned back on the stool. "Give it a shot, you know my number."

With that, he went on his way. Of course his lunch break would be ending and he'd have to get back to work himself. He'd confidently forgot the tickets. Trina was half tempted to throw them into a shredder, but she didn't want to be rude. Besides, she admired the confidence he had. Maybe it was a little attractive, but nothing she'd say was major.

With a heavy sigh, she pocketed the tickets and mumbled to herself, "At least it isn't a date." She grabbed her cleaning rag and began to wipe down the bar. She'd have to think about this baseball game. She didn't want to go so much herself, but she didn't want to deny Sasha the chance to experience the sport.

She certainly wasn't going to let Sasha go without her, or at least Tori or Casey, so chances were likely she'd go unless something else came up.

* * *

I should really say something interesting here, but I got nothing. Leave your thoughts


	8. Girls Day Out

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 8 (Girls Day Out)

Trina stood in front of the door bright early one morning to see Casey standing at her door. She wasn't ready for work yet and just dropped off her daughter at her class. Needless to say, she hadn't expected Casey to show up at all. "Derek said you needed to relax, so you and I are taking the day off. The assistant manager is in charge and also the head waiter is running the bar, so you and I can go shopping."

"But I don't want-" There wasn't time to dispute or protest. Casey grabbed her by the wrist and immediately began tugging her out to the car. She wasn't doing anything important, so there wasn't any big problem. She'd rather wait for her daughter to finish school, but she saw the need to get out of the house. "I guess I don't have a choice in the matter."

"Not a chance. I'm not letting you mope around. Besides, when was the last time you had a shopping spree?"

"It's…been a while?" She was pushed into the passenger seat. As she moved the seatbelt over her shoulders, the driver's door slammed shut and the car started up. Sure she had to go shopping several times with Tori when she needed to pick something up for her or Sasha, but a 'spree'? It had been more than several years, since before even Sinjin's death. "You know your brother wants to take Sasha and myself to that Yankees game this coming Saturday."

"You should go, they're playing the Texas Rangers." Casey glanced over and flashed a subtle smile. "Though I think it's more than just the team that's playing. It's being able to hear the rush of the crowd and sharing a hot dog with your daughter at her first game. It's an American pastime, and that's coming from a girl who was brought up in Canada."

"Taking sons and daughters to baseball games? That isn't something mothers do, it's what fathers do…and Jesse would have loved to be the one to do that." She bowed her head, stalling in her thoughts. "I'm not sure if I want Derek to be the one to do that."

"He's not, you would be. He's just the one that offered you the tickets. Which I did see you stuff into your pockets, so I know you're at least considering it."

She hummed softly and curled her fingers at her cheek. "How many times have I turned down your brother?"

"Well he says this isn't him asking you on a date, just giving you and Sasha something to do." Casey slowed to a stop at a red light and stretched her arms. "Four, by the way. You hold quite the candle for Jesse."

"It's hard to see myself with another man besides Sasha's father…"

"How long has it been?'

"Five years now." She slouched when Casey gave her a strange look. She couldn't be upset, the girl didn't understand. She took a deep breath. "Sasha's dad was murdered-the day after he and I had sex-and I know how it sounds but no jealous boyfriends or anything were involved. It was just us." Casey pressed her lips together and nodded as Trina continued, struggling with the memory. "A year before that, I had another boyfriend that I cared about who died the same way. In front of me…a different man shot him, but it didn't matter who pulled the trigger, I…" Tears burned at her cheeks as she took an angry gasp and moved her hand over her sore chest. "I don't want to go through that again."

"You're scared of someone attacking the next person you date?"

"And don't you tell me that's not a legitimate fear."

"It is, it is. I just think you need to consider it was five years ago-maybe your fortunes have changed?" They had, but not enough for her to move past the fears and doubts. "If you're afraid of opening up, what do you think that's telling Sasha about love as she gets older?" Trina rubbed her arm and looked outside. Casey was right, there was no doubt about that. More than anything she wanted Sasha to be happy, and to one day find a man who could treat her right.

"I know. I'm just not ready. Not to mention it's really hard to worry about all that when you're a full time mom." She chuckled and curled a smile. "I don't have _time_ to go on dates." Casey raised an eyebrow at her and slowly shook her head. Trina winced as her friend's tongue clicked nonchalantly.

"You're really trying to bring out my child psychology studies aren't you…" She could see what was coming her way from a mile off now. "How fair is that to Sasha, Trina? To see herself as the reason her mother's not happy."

"Don't twist my words around. I am happy! I'm just not interested in dating anyone. Right now I just want to give my daughter a good life. Whatever makes her happy."

"You deserve some happiness too. Besides, that is what would make your child happy, to see you happy."

"Why are you a manager instead of a psychologist, Casey?" Casey laughed as Trina rolled her eyes.

"Fair question. Almost as fair as me asking why you're a bartender and not a leader or manager." Trina shrugged and looked away, being sure to keep away from eye contact. "I'm where I'm at because I enjoy my job, it's where I want to be. Living is comfortable and I don't have anyone that depends on me. What about you?"

"I am looking, I just have not found anywhere yet that has contacted me." Unemployment wasn't as bad as it was years ago, but no one appeared to hiring. "Tori thinks I should be a legal secretary. Or even a paralegal."

"That wouldn't be so bad. What about your brother-in-law? He's a lawyer, he could hire you on as one couldn't he?"

"Unfortunately no." Ben's law firm was full on staff, so he wasn't looking to hire anyone new. "I did get a bachelor's degree in criminal justice, but I don't think I deserve to work in that field." Then again, it wasn't about her or her past, it was about her daughter. What did _she_ deserve? She deserved the world, and Trina was set to give it to her.

"Did you do any schooling after Sasha's birth?"

"Yeah, some stuff in the administrative area. If I wanted to, I could go for a double major."

"So why don't you? Give yourself more jobs."

"I don't have the money anymore. We put all Jesse's money in a trust fund for Sasha." Trina swept her hair back, pushing it into a ponytail while Casey parked in a shopping square. Her eyes lifted towards the neon sign in front of her, and her lips parted, releasing only empty air. "TJ Maxx? Really? Of all the places to shop, you want to shop here?"

"Okay, to be honest, I just want to spend some time with my friend, and to get you out of the house."

"I don't mean to offend, it's just…been a while since I was interested at all in designer style stuff. We're talking high school." Though TJ Maxx wasn't really as expensive or 'designer' as some clothing stores in this town, it certainly was expensive.

"We don't have to buy anything, but we have to look around."

"Yeah…You're just trying to distract me from the fact that Sasha isn't with me, aren't you…"

"There's that too."

"Of course."

Once insider, the first place they checked out were the shoes. Much to her dismay, Casey had her trying on these shiny black high heels with a bow on them. She had to extend her arms to balance and keep from walking over as she walked in them. "I don't wear heels!" Her left foot fell over her right and she stumbled forward, reaching out to grab some extension on the wall.

Casey rushed over and helped her to sit down, "Sorry Trina." Trina groaned and ran her h and over her forehead. "I guess it takes practice getting back into heels." She'd not had the luxury of wearing high heels since her 'formal' date with Jesse, and before that she hadn't even worn them since some point of time in high school. "I know you don't like dresses, so…"

"I saw some jeans on the way in, and some awesome shirts." She pulled off the heels and put her regular shoes back on. Casey smiled at her and followed her over to the jeans section. "I have plenty of pants back home since Tori and I did a lot of shopping for new clothing when I moved here."

"What about this?" Casey reached for a top and held it up. It was a black sleeveless top with a rounded collar and silver chains that hung loosely, attached to the shoulder region. She reached over and felt of the shirt, smiling at it.

"It's nice." She didn't want to buy it though, it wouldn't feel right to buy something and not get something for her daughter. She took the shirt from Casey and hung it back onto the shelf. "Beautiful."

Casey put her hands to her hips and raised an eyebrow. "The point of 'shopping spree' is to buy stuff."

"I feel like I'm slighting my daughter if I buy anything without buying for her."

"So buy something for her." Casey motioned for her to follow and guided her towards the children's section. Trina's heart lifted up as she gazed at the many items that she could get for Sasha. "And I'm paying, but don't forget that it's okay to treat yourself to something nice too. If you get her something, then get yourself something as well."

"All right…" She was eyeing that top Casey had pulled out, se hardly wanted to go without it. Then she'd seen some designer jeans that looked lovely. "Let the day begin, then."

At lunch, the two stopped off at some small café and were sitting on an outside table with several shopping bags. So far, Trina was having a great time. Obviously she was thinking constantly about Sasha, but hanging out with a friend made it more bearable. "How's your club sandwich?"

She took a bite, then swallowed it down. "Amazing."

"I know right? I love this little café, they always have the best food!" Casey's phone chimed and she let out a small groan. Trina took another bite of the sandwich, watching with a raised eyebrow as Casey lowered her phone volume. "It's just Adam again."

"You're not going to answer?"

"No he knows I'm spending time with you, he doesn't want me out and about with friends all that much." Casey shrugged her shoulders and took another bite. Trina's muscles tensed, and for a second, she thought she heard Beck's laugh enter the area.

"Y-Your fiancé, he isn't controlling is he?"

"A little bit, but I'm not going to talk about him. This is girls day out, let the fun continue." Trina nodded slowly, still feeling an ungodly chill crawling over her. "Tell me more about Jesse, you've never told me anything about him. What was he like?"

"He was a good man. He wanted to give me a good life. We were taking care of each other, more or less. He'd lost someone close to him, a fiancé, Sasha's namesake. She passed away, and I heard she was an extremely good woman . She was too young when she passed."

"Aw you named your daughter after his fiancé?"

"Yes."

"I wonder how Jesse would be today, and sometimes I like to imagine the kind of father he'd be." Her mind drifted to an image of Jesse holding his daughter in his arms, spinning slowly as Sasha laughed. Her dream faded and her heart sank. "Of course that's not happening."

"I'm sorry, Trina."

Trina swept away a tear and closed her eyes. "If I ever date again. That man would have to love and accept my daughter first and foremost, I would have to see how he interacts with her and how he treats me is important too. But like I say, I won't date a man that doesn't accept my daughter."

"So she will definitely be the first thing people know about you, and that's the way it should be." Casey sipped her drink through a straw and glanced off to the side, humming lightly. "So since you've been to New York, you've not dated anyone at all. How many men have you turned down? Besides my brother?"

"Not many that I would say I take seriously. If you mean drunks at the restaurant or customers that flirt with just any waitress, then yes."

"That's what I mean when I say you need a better job! You need one where you're respected."

"I also need a place of my own." She leaned back in her chair and slouched. "My sister's home is great and all, but what I want for Sasha…is for her to grow up in a family home, one she can call her own."

In her mind's eye she could visualize Sasha in her preteens, having a sleepover with all her friends, and holding onto her small puppy. She wanted her to have the full family lifestyle as well, but chances of that were slim at this rate, unless she could get a good solid grasp on her life.

"You'll get there Trina. Trust me, as long as you keep moving forward and doing your best, you will get there."

"Thanks for the support."

"That's what friends are for." Casey checked her phone once more, and a stress wrinkle formed between her brows. "Adam wants me to get home."

"Emergency?"

"No, it's nothing to worry about." Casey smiled and slipped her phone into her purse. "We can finish our food. So, tell me more about this dream life of yours."

"Gladly."

* * *

Sounds like it was a good day that Trina needed. What are your thoughts?


	9. A Sister's Support

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 9 (A Sister's Support)

When Trina arrived home, she found Tori talking on the phone. She stopped in the doorway, watching her sister as she stood before the window. "Yes. NYC, close to Zuccotti Park in Lower Manhattan." Tori stated with a gentle voice. "I'd prefer to come to you." It didn't sound important, or anything Trina needed to concern herself with. Rather, it did sound like she was trying to make a delivery or an appointment. "Really now? West Milford and Pinecliff Lake? That's not far at all. Hold on." Tori pulled the phone from her ear and looked over to Trina with a subtle smile. "Hey sis, I thought you were out with Casey?"

"Yeah but her fiancé wanted her home."

"Ah. Let me finish up this call and we can do something." She nodded and walked off to the kitchen. She thought about the place Trina was talking about, it was only about an hour drive from where they were located. Derek lived somewhere in between the mess. She'd never been out to Pinecliff Lake or West Milford, but she'd love to go since it was such a small town. She always had a fascination for small towns, though West Milford didn't fall onto what she'd consider extremely small. It was just over the New Jersey border.

Maybe Tori had a case there, or else she was being transferred. She wouldn't want that, but FBI agents did have to be moved around every now and then.

Trina grabbed some juice from the fridge and poured herself a glass. Tori came walking into the kitchen shortly after. "So how was time with the friend?"

"We had a good time, I bought Sasha some clothes." She pointed to the bags on the floor and grinned as Tori glanced over. "Bought myself some stuff too. It's been a long time since I really had a good time to shop around like that."

"Well I'm glad you had some fun." Tori sat down at the table and Trina walked over. "Another hour before we need to pick up Sasha from preschool, maybe you want to catch a movie or something?" Trina sipped her drink and shrugged. "What did you and Casey chat about? I'm sad I missed out, but I was a bit busy." Tori was often too busy to spend time with people, though she still tried to make room for both Trina and for Jade.

"Understandable. We just chatted on and off about life. She thinks I should get a job as a legal assistant too." Tori chuckled as Trina set her glass on the table. "It's a thought. I mean, whatever I can bring to the table to give Sasha the life she deserves…I know I'm sounding like a broken record, but-"

"No you're not, you're sounding like a concerned mother that wants the best for her daughter. Nobody can criticize you for that." She smiled warmly. Tori pat her hand on the table and looked off to the nearby window. "So…did you two talk about Jesse?"

"Not really much." She raised an eyebrow as Tori quickly glanced back to her. "When I'm ready to talk about him, Tori-you'll be the first person I do that with. You're the only one that knows my history. Other than Jade, Sam and Cat…" Of course, Sam and Cat were still living in DC. Since that's where Sam's husband, Cat's dbrother was stationed. Cat was in the process of having to be transferred, though, so no one knew just yet where she was going.

Maybe that's who Tori was on the phone with, but she didn't think there was a military base in West Milford. She didn't want to ask Tori because it was probably personal or job related, and there were _many_ things she wasn't allowed to discuss with Trina or anyone else.

"Are you sure you're still not ready to talk about him?" Trina frowned as Tori tucked a strand of hair over her ear. Her sister gave her a subtle frown and let her shoulders fall. "I mean obviously I don't want to push or anything-"

She was tired of being asked by people about Jesse, or how he died, but maybe it was best she talk. Just a little. "Beck shot him, Tori." Tori frowned as Trina's heart started to clench with pain stabbing into her. The vivid memory of Jesse's death burned her brain, and that final bullet sounded off in her head with a thunderous roar. "He drugged us, led us into a trap, aimed his gun at _me_ so Jesse would try and protect me. He did." She began to tremble, her fingers closed into her palm as tears stung her eyes.

"Oh my god…" She felt her sister's hand over hers, squeezing it. A comforting warmth swept over her. Tori bowed her head for a second, then looked up to meet her eyes. "I knew Beck was eventually the leader of that Scrapperz gang, but I didn't think he did all of that. I knew he was responsible, but-"

"He wanted to kill Jesse. That was his primary goal. Jesse was the one all the gangs hated, and then instead of killing me, he left me so all the other gangs could target me. Essentially he placed a hit on me for all the gangs."

"Well you and Sasha are safe now, and that is what matters." Trina smiled at her and took a slow, deep breath. It felt good to get what happened off her chest.

"Jesse was more than just the leader of a gang, Tori. He was the best man I knew. He cared about me, treated me right and respect. He wasn't what you'd expect, not violent or filled with hate, and I think a part of that was his fiancé before me."

"Sasha's namesake. Right, I remember that-General Vance was happy you'd honor his daughter that way. In a way, you're honoring Jesse as well."

"That, and at the same time-much like Jesse's fiancé had done, I think, Sasha pretty much kept me grounded." If not for her daughter, she might have become a much different person, just like had Jesse never met his fiancé, he would probably not have been the same person Trina knew him as. "But yeah, during the pregnancy I did wonder what I'd name my baby if I had a son. Jesse Jr. was all that came to mind." She chuckled softly and Tori's lips curved up into a bright smile.

"You really did love him, I can see that. I'm happy that you had found someone like that after all, even if he led a gang. Like you say, he wasn't your average gang leader…but he made you happy, and for that, I'm glad."

"It wasn't just that he made me happy, I was safe with him. Secure. With him, the entire world could crash and burn around me, but I could be stable. When he died, I lost it. I brought about the end of the Cravens, the Scrapperz, and even the Barbs gang…"

Tori leaned back, sliding her hands along the surface of the table. "Barbs? I don't remember seeing any file on them."

"They're the ones responsible for the death of Jesse's fiancé, I took them out after discovering I was pregnant. It was the last gang I really put a stop to on a higher scale."

"I see. Can't imagine how traumatic that must have been." Tori clasped her hands together and bowed her head. "I am glad you're out of that life. I never want you to go back into it." Trina laughed at Tori's disapproving stare, she loved how serious her sister could get. There were many things she admired about Tori, such as how strong she'd become over the years, no more the once clingy girl she used to be.

"I don't think I ever will…I learned my lesson the first time. Now if I ever do date again…" A coy smirk crossed her face as Tori cleared her throat and pointed to her.

"No dating gang members. You might not be so lucky to find one that is like Jesse."

"Oh god, tell me about it!" She gave the table a light smack and swayed to the right. "Jesse was _rare!_ Though every guy in his gang treated women with respect-they had to. The only other gang leader that was remotely like him was Carl of El Sangre. Other than those two, there were gang leaders like Wesley Craven or Brandon Dunham."

To be able to finally talk about this was groundbreaking, earthshattering! She felt better than she thought she'd feel in regards to speaking of her former life. Perhaps she would be able to talk more about it, without fear. "Tori, I'm glad that I can talk about all this…"

"We're sisters, of course you can tell me anything." Tori cupped her hands around Trina's and looked her in the eye. "I don't want you to ever think there's something you can't tell me." She could see a genuine concern that lifted her spirit. "You _know_ you can come to me with anything. We talked about Mom, Andre, Robbie…we talked about everything under the sun-if that's not evidence that you can come to me for anything, then I don't know what is."

Tori's words struck a particular sadness, but at the same time, her heart was pounding out the joys of the situation. "I know…" Tears came up to her eyes and she reached over, hugging Tori close. "I love you, sis."

"I love you too." She leaned back, looking at Trina with a subtle smirk. "'Tri-Tri'." Trina laughed at the refreshing nickname, a name Tori had not used since they were young. "Anyway, I do have something to tell you."

"You do?"

"Yes, but first." Tori pulled her hands away and tapped her finger onto her chin. "Dad met Jesse, right? I remember they got along well…Did dad ever find out Jesse was a gang leader?"

"Yes…"

"And what happened?"

"He broke Jesse's arm. Compound fracture, which probably indicates smashing it with one of his steel toe boots…" Tori winced as Trina reminisced. She did do a lot of studying in regards to the human body as well, enough that she could strive to be a radiologist if she wanted. There were just a few classes she'd have to take, then a certification test.

"So Dad was pissed."

"Pretty much, and not happy that his daughter was a part of a gang either, but _fortunately_ the Knights weren't a troublesome gang. He kept a close watch on us, but aside from that, he trusted us." She still, to this day, wished she could have saved her dad from Beck's aunt. With her dad's death was what really opened LA to become the city it was when Tori had to come crashing back in with the FBI and military. "The irony is…no matter how much I wanted to finish his dream and clean that town up, it was you that did it. All you…"

Tori shrugged and moved her hand towards her stomach. "I wanted my sister back and to avenge my dad, and damn anyone that was going to stand in my way." Tori spoke with an air of casualness, and a bit of nonchalance. "I talked Director Lunsford into forming that task force, Sam and her husband contacted General Vance. We got the President to both request and approve, then he sent us in. There was a whole operation involved that no one saw, so the process…the planning…it was a lot more than just the President's orders. Once Jade and I were in the FBI, the second we stepped in, the plan was being thought out…we were going straight for the head."

"Wow…" She couldn't be sure what to think. All of this had been for her? For their dad? Tori's wrath was one she knew never to underestimate, but never did she think Tori could do something so remarkable. "I used to think I was the one that took after dad."

"You are, but we both do in separate ways. You get your athleticism from dad, as well as his intellect and yes-even some masculinity."

"Hey!" Tori laughed.

"I got mom's feminine ways, but also a lot of dad's logic. Not his physical strength. I think we both got his drive…" Tori cleared her throat and pushed herself up. "Now, about that thing I wanted to talk to you about."

"Yeah?" Did it involve the phone call? She hoped it had, but at the same time, she didn't want to compromise Tori's work.

"Well, I just-" Tori hesitated, grunting as her eyes started to widen and a slight whimper fell from her lips. "Oh shit. Not now…"

"Tori?" Trina pushed herself up, panicking as her sister grabbed for her stomach. She recognized the stress forming on Tori's face, followed by the crouching of her sister's knees. "Oh shit, it's happening now?!"

"Call the doctor!" Tori clenched her eyes, grunting painfully. Trina did her best to remain calm as she dialed the doctor's office on her cell and leading her sister out to the car. "Oh this baby is not going to come out easily." Tori screamed out and Trina hastened to start the car.

"Just stay calm and take deep breaths, I'll get you to the emergency room."

"Just hurry it up!"

* * *

What are your thoughts? Tori reveals swift determination in having found her sister, it's nice to know the background. I wonder what that phone call was about, probably nothing. But then as my readers, you think I would make it nothing?


	10. The Biological Family

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 10 (The Biological Family)

At the hospital, Trina called Ben, who rushed over from his office. She also had to call Casey up so the woman could pick her daughter up from school. Right now she was by her sister's bedside with Ben, who was busy having his hand crushed by Tori's death grip. There were multiple profanities being strewn about, so she was well aware she'd need to get moving out of the room whenever her daughter arrived.

This brought back many memories of when she went into labor with Sasha. The child had not been a pleasant birth, though she was a quiet baby. Roger had been there to help the doctor with the delivery process, and needless to say, he had a lot of abuse hurtled his way. Now fortunately she could be there for her sister, which she wished her sister had been able to be there for her.

"Keep pushing, you're doing fine," Ben stated. The man was very pale but miraculously he did not faint. Roger fainted halfway through delivery. Tori screamed out once more.

"I'm pushing as hard as I can, get the baby out of me. Ben! When I get off this table I swear to god I'm cutting out your nuts!" The man's eyes widened and Trina reached down, rubbing Tori's clammy forehead with a nervous chuckle.

"Don't worry, she doesn't mean that. It's just excruciatingly painful for her. First births tend to be painful At least you're here for her. So long as you don't faint." Would Jesse have passed out? She didn't think so, but remembering how queasy he'd been on their very first official date, it was likely that he would have gotten very sick during labor.

"What the hell are you telling people I don't mean what I say, for? I always mean what I say! I didn't get where I was by not meaning what I say." Trina rolled her eyes and looked towards the door. Her phone still hadn't gone off yet alerting her to Casey's arrival with Sasha, so she was beginning to worry. "I'm sorry for shouting, it's just so painful!" Trina watched Ben reassure his wife and smiled as Tori continued to push through. It was wonderful to see the teamwork the couple had, but it was somewhat saddening as well.

The text alert on her phone finally went off, signaling Casey's arrival with Sasha. "Sasha's here. I'll be right back, Tori." Tori nodded as Trina hurried outside the room, thrilled to see her daughter walking down the hall with Casey. "Sasha!" She waved and the girl looked up with delight.

"Momma!" Sasha hurried over and Trina scooped her up into her arms. "Is it true? Is my cousin coming?" The girl looked to the delivery room with an expectant gaze. "Can I go in and see?"

"Not yet. Your cousin hasn't arrived yet. He's on his way though."

"Momma, how is the stork going to get him out of Aunt Tori?" Sasha turned her innocent eyes to Trina. Of course, she hadn't yet explained the process of birth to her daughter, and that would not be happening until she was much older.

"Magic, sweetheart. The stork uses magic to bring the baby to her."

"Really? Was that how I was born? Magic?"

_Close enough._

"Until you are much older sweetheart, we're going to go with magic." Sasha gave her a confused look, then shrugged it off as though it were unimportant. Truly, all that mattered to the young girl was getting her cousin.

"Is there really going to be room for us, mommy? Aunt Tori's house is getting full."

"One day we'll have a place of our own, and until then, your Aunt's more than willing to keep us in." Hell, if Tori had her way, Trina would never move out. "Don't you like living with Aunt Victoria?"

"Yes momma, but I want to have a family home with you." There wasn't much she could afford right now, and moving expenses wasn't easy to come by. How could she explain to her child that they likely wouldn't be able to afford a new home? At least not right now and not on what she'd been making on tips.

With a soft smile she hugged her daughter and sat down in one of the hospital chairs. "We may not be able to afford one now, baby, but I promise you we will have a home one day. You just have to be patient." Sasha smiled up at her and nodded her approval. She felt guilty for not be able to provide that house for her child, especially now that Tori had a baby to take care of. They already had a lot of other things on their plate, but that didn't matter. If Sasha wanted a family home, she'd get one.

Trina never thought she'd be the one to want to cling to Tori, but she understood why exactly she clung to her. She needed her, she saved her, and her daughter's life. She didn't want to move out, though she knew it was improbable for her to stay with Tori forever. Tori had a young, growing family. She didn't need to be saddled down with her sister. Besides, what was that showing Sasha? It isn't okay to simply freeload off relatives when you could, or should, look for matters elsewhere.

After a moment of contemplation, Sasha had fallen asleep on Trina, and Casey sat down beside her. Trina had one arm around Sasha and was staring at the delivery room door. "What are you thinking about?" Casey asked, startling Trina away from her thoughts.

"What I'm going to do in regards for my daughter's future…I can't stay with Tori forever, even Sasha's feeling that crowded feeling. I don't have money to afford a new home. I'm already having difficulty making _car_ payments, let alone a house." It was one thing to own a car in New York, but the way she looked at it, she couldn't have Sasha walking through the streets. She didn't even want to walk around the streets of New York and risk being recognized by some gang member.

That being said, it wasn't muggings that frightened her.

"If it's money you're worried about, find a second job." Trina looked to Sasha and quickly shook her head. There was no way in hell she could do that. Her face tensed for a moment and Casey tilted her head. "You don't like that idea?

"I can't be away from my daughter, you know that." She put her hand to her forehead, sighing heavily. "What I mean by that is it's bad enough that I'm not seeing her throughout the day-and it's only going to get worse when she starts kindergarten-but getting a second job means sacrificing all time with her. I can't do that."

"I see." Casey folded her hands over her abdomen and leaned back. "I understand, somewhat, I mean I don't have children to take care of-but that doesn't make me ignorant." Casey took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Just take it one step at a time. Also, if you're that frightened of Sasha going off to kindergarten, I suggest joining the PTA. Do it now, actually."

Trina's eyebrow arched up and skepticism shrouded her, "She hasn't started yet." Was it even possible to join the PTA when her child wasn't there yet? "Doesn't the kid have to be attending the school first? I've never heard of a person joining a PTA without their child attending."

"Sasha's going to Bedford Heights, correct?"

"She will be. Yes."

"This fall?"

"Correct."

"Then you could attend meetings." Casey's hand swept through the air, her certainty was a mild comfort to Trina. "From what I understand, the PTA there does allow parents of children that will be attending to join when their child isn't there. Especially if they're in your situation."

"My situation?"

"New student's first day of actual school. They acknowledge not only is it a big thing for the child, but it's a big day for the parent as well, and the group tries to make a parent's time leading up to it and afterwards comfortable. So it can be a benefit to both you and Sasha."

Trina glanced down when Sasha cuddled closer to her, wrapping her arms tightly around her waist. The child murmured in her sleep, causing a smile to form on Trina's lips. She looked back up to Casey, sighing softly. "How do you know about this?"

"Teachers and parents come into the restaurant all the time, Trina."

"Oh." She looked away to cover her embarrassment over the obvious answer. "I didn't think of it that way." Her friend laughed and gave her a gentle pat on the back.

"To be fair, there was also a PTA meeting hosted at the restaurant before you started working there."

Her head jerked up and her lips parted. "What? Really? They do that?"

"Yeah, one of the waiters on staff asked at the time if they frequently held their meetings outside the school, they said they do on occasion. It's a good way to not only reach out to the community and gather ideas to discuss, but it also helps alleviates stress and discomfort from meeting in the school auditorium every week."

"Do they meet in the summer?"

"I think so-it's worth checking out."

"I will bear that in mind. Anything else?"

Casey rolled her head to the right, humming gently. "To my knowledge, it's a good idea to take Sasha to your first meeting. Let her get a feel of the place." She could do that, but Trina was concerned with how shy the child was. Sure, once Sasha got comfortable she fit right in, but that wasn't always the case.

Before discussing anything else, one of the nurses stepped out of the delivery room, catching everyone's attention. Trina pat Sasha's shoulder, stirring the girl slowly awake. "You can go in now," the nurse informed.

They made their way into the delivery room and Sasha ran up to the bed, cooing at the baby in Tori's arms. Trina grinned at her newly born nephew and made her way over to Tori, who looked up with a doting smile. Ben was on the other side of Tori, his arm around her shoulders and his eyes gazing lovingly at his son.

Jade came rushing inside soon after, excited to see the her friend's birth. "Isn't he beautiful?" Tori whispered as she met her son's eyes. "I'm naming him after Dad." Trina felt a rush of pride and reached down, gently sweeping her finger over the baby's head.

Little David closed his eyes and stretched out his arms, reaching out to Trina's hand and gripping her finger. Sasha laughed happily and bounced beside the bed. "I have my first cousin!"

Trina chuckled as Tori glanced over with a smile and spoke softly, "That's right, you do." Tori took a few minutes of silence and looked up from her baby with a strange look as though she just remembered something. "Trina, I had something to tell you. In all the excitement I almost forgot…That phone call." Trina furrowed her brow and shook her head.

"Is now a really good time? We should be celebrating your son."

"And we will." Tori let Ben hold her child first, smiling at him as the man cradled his son carefully. Trina recognized the familiar look of attachment in her sister's eyes, already she'd grown so fond of her son. She smiled at her sister, then towards her nephew. "There will be plenty of time for celebration once we bring him home. The doctor's not going to release him quite yet, and I'm also being made to stay a couple nights for monitoring purposes."

"I see." She relaxed for a moment, watching as Sasha hurried over to Ben's side. The girl's uncle sat down in the chair, allowing the baby to be at Sasha's level. "So then, what's the big deal?" Tori looked towards Sasha, her voice lowering to a near whisper.

"You're not Sasha's only family." Trina raised an eyebrow while Tori met her eyes and started to smile. "Never underestimate an FBI agent willing to do anything for her sister and niece." Her heart stopped and she looked from Tori to Jade, as if Jade had all the answers.

What had that phone call been? Who or what had Tori found?

"What do you-you don't mean-" Her body began to grow numb with shock as she started to grow anxious with each passing second. Her sister didn't have to say a word for her to know what she was going to say.

"You were concerned about Sasha not having more blood relatives that wanted to be a part of her life, and were afraid of Ben's family not giving her attention-and you're right. They're not Sasha's family-they're Ben's and David's. They're not required to look at you or Sasha the same way." As Tori appeared gravely disappointed, Trina's heart started to sink. Stress lines formed on Tori's forehead, indicative that the girl must have spoken to Ben's family about her concerns already.

"So…Who was on the other end of that phone call?"

"Someone who wants to be a part of your lives, more than Ben's family-I guess."

Ben looked up from his son with some concern, "If I can add, Trina-please don't lump me in the same pile as my parents or sibling. I don't feel the same way they do-you and Sasha are, and will always be family." Trina smiled graciously and watched her sister dismiss him with a wave. She had no worry about how Ben viewed her, besides, he was Sasha's direct uncle-so of course he valued them as family!

"I won't mince words, Trina. The person on the other end of that call was Jesse's mother." Trina's eyes widened and Sasha's head jerked over as a gasp left the girl's lips. "The woman has a son and daughter-both married and with kids of their own. She also has a stepdaughter with the man she's with. They all live in and around New York City. Her name is Linda Andrews. She's spoken with her family and they want to see you, to see Sasha."

Tears began to form in Trina's eyes as her body started to tremble. "D-Do they know that Jesse's not-"

"Yes. They found out some time ago-but never knew he had a daughter."

"How does the woman even have two kids?" She didn't have to ask about the stepchild, since it wasn't the woman's. "Jesse said-"

"I don't know, didn't ask. She'll have to tell you." Everything Jesse had said of his family was coming back to her. She didn't know whether to be terrified, shocked or relieved. Surely, what she felt was a mixture of the three.

She remembered what he told her about the woman having a son with another man, that the man kept the son. Maybe one of those two children _was_ the son. Maybe he'd found his mother. The other child she didn't know about, Jesse probably didn't know either. The woman never had kids with her second husband-Jesse's abusive stepfather. It was probable that it was an adopted child.

Either way, Jesse's mother was such an enigma that the mere thought of seeing the woman was immensely terrifying. "How did you even locate them?"

"We are FBI," Jade reminded her. Trina chuckled nervously as Tori closed her eyes and slowly exhaled. "We can find anyone with very little information, we do have our methods."

"Look," Tori bluntly remarked while opening her eyes halfway and smirking, "We found _you,_ didn't we?"

"That's different." Trina moved her hand to her forehead, scratching it lightly. "Sort of. I need to process this…I-I don't even know how to react." Since when did one meet their significant other's family _without_ the said person? What were they going to think of her? Would they like her? Would they love Sasha? Would they think she was some sort of slut for sleeping with Jesse, even though it only happened once and because they were both drugged?

This was all too much to take in at once, and she felt if she didn't sit down soon she'd pass out on the floor from the lightheaded feeling coming over her.

Where in the hell was Jesse when she needed him? Better to deal with her own anxiety, rather than what he'd be going through if he were alive to see his mother and her family after all these years.

* * *

So a lot to take in it would appear. Tori's son is finally born, so Trina and Sasha get a new relative. What else? A whole new wing of relatives that want to see them, but everyone will tell her, the ball is in her court. It's up to her to decide where to go from here.


	11. Make the Call

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 11 (Make the Call)

While on her lunch break at work, Trina sat alone at a booth, staring at a phone number on her cell. Tori had given it to her, instructing her to call, but she was still unable to bring herself to do so. She didn't want to, but at the same time she didn't want to deprive Sasha of her family or deprive this woman of one of her grandchildren.

_"God Jesse, what do you want me to do?"_ Her hairline was wet with sweat while her heartbeat was going a mile a minute. She had to tell herself, the mother hadn't been the monster. It was Mr. Klein, Ralph. Then it was his stepfather, but then, Jesse never faced his mother after having been the one to kill his stepfather.

That being said, there was no compelling, logical reason for Linda to want to associate with her eldest son's family. Was there? "No…" She clicked off the phone and gently set it to the side. Her hands rubbed vigorously at her face and she slid them back through her hair, sighing heavily. _"Calm down, just calm down."_

She clenched her eyes and curled her fingers into her palms. What was in the best interest of Sasha? She didn't want to be the mother that kept her daughter away from family, and what were the chances that they could help in some way? One thing was for sure, she wasn't going to act 'entitled' and start asking them for help. No, nothing financial unless they offered. Even then, she wanted to be wary of coming off destitute. That was, if she even chose to initiate contact. All Jesse's stories about his family had been rather frightening. Granted, he never said much negative about his mother besides the fact that she dealt with two abusive husbands and had one son she gave away for fear of Mr. Klein killing their child upon birth.

This second child was questionable, and she did not want to make assumptions. She was _not_ going to come off judgmental, especially not in her situation. It would very well make her a hypocrite.

Why was she even debating this? Why was she so terrified? She'd rather face Beck and all the gangs again than to see Jesse's family. She knew how to handle them, that was the only difference. She knew how to carry herself, how to defend herself and to respond. Jesse's family, on the other hand, she hadn't the slightest clue.

She glanced at the wine list on the table with a frown. It sucked that even as a bartender, she couldn't drink on the job site, whether on break or not. It would be nice to have a drink right about now.

"You look troubled." Her eyes darted up to see Derek standing at the other booth. He was leaning with his elbow on the wooden top of the seat, and his right foot crossed over his left. "Casey said you were having a difficult time with something. Want to talk about it?" How was it he was always around when she had something on her mind? He was a good friend, so she never turned him away.

"I thought you didn't like dealing with personal problems that people have."

"Eh, if I can dish out some advice, then I say I've done well." He rounded the booth and sat down across from her. "So what's the issue? Is Sasha enjoying her dance classes?"

"Yes. The issue is also, Tori managed to make contact with Jesse's mother. Sasha's grandmother." Derek's eyebrows rose and the corners of his lips turned up.

"That's great news!" Trina leaned against her right palm and cupped her hand over her eyes as her head touched to the wall. "So what's the problem? Why are you debating so heavily? It's Sasha's family, right? Her dad's."

"I'm scared of what they'll say or what they'll do, Derek." She lifted her head up and met his concerned eyes. "I would love for them to accept Sasha, and for them to accept me, but without Jesse…God knows what'll happen."

"Trina. The worst thing they can say is that they don't want to be a part of your life. I doubt they would have told Tori anything if that were true." She acknowledged his point, but at the same time, she was still too doubtful to make any kind of judgment call on the matter.

"I do not want Sasha hurt, Derek."

"You don't want her to be hurt, or you don't want to be hurt?" She leaned back, brushing her palms forward on the table. Her eyes locked with his and her lips sank further, forming frown lines around the corners of her mouth. "I know you're concerned of what they'll think, but at the same time you have to do what's best for Sasha-not yourself."

"I know that! I know how to raise my daughter!" Guilt stabbed at her as Derek lifted his hands up in defense.

"Sorry-I wasn't trying to imply-"

A wrinkle formed at her brow and she reached up, scratching at it. "Forget it, I shouldn't have snapped." It wasn't Derek's fault. He honestly didn't realize the gravity of the situation that formed her fears. His knowing about her past was terrifying, but at the very least, he deserved some amount of truth. She took a deep breath and held it for a minute, watching as Derek relaxed his body. "Maybe I should explain something about Sasha's father…so long as you don't run off."

"I won't."

"Fine." She closed her eyes and slowly shook her head as her stomach flipped inside. "Jesse was a gang leader." She watched his eyebrows rise up, hiding beneath his shaggy bangs. Her heart constricted as fear began to choke her. "I was a part of it too. After I lost a boyfriend prior to Jesse, I ran off and Jesse found me. Well-his birth father was originally the leader of that same gang and took him in, right?"

"Okay, I'm with you so far." Derek rubbed his chin. Trina was surprised to see him still here so far. "Explains why you go by 'Sherry' most times."

"Yes. My sister saved my daughter and myself from that lifestyle. Back to Jesse, though…He had a bastard stepfather that abused him and his mother. One day, he shot the man." Derek frowned and Trina turned to lean her back against the wall while throwing her legs onto the booth. She moved her hands over her stomach and glanced to the windows of the restaurant with a frown. "Jesse ran off without so much of a word to his mother-and hadn't seen her since. She left LA, and Jesse found his birth father, taking him in and teaching him everything."

"How was his dad?" Trina swept her hair over her shoulder with a light scoff.

"According to Jesse, not much better than that stepdad…He was a prick that wanted Jesse to hate everything in the world like he did. Of course, Jesse met his fiancé-Sasha Vance-who pretty much kept him from hardening up like his dad." Derek flashed a smile at the obvious namesake of Trina's child.

"You named Sasha after her?" Trina smiled softly, reminiscing fondly over her pregnancy with her daughter. It was that time that changed her so greatly. There hadn't been a thought to revenge of any kind, and she kept her head down for those nine months. A child looks up to a parent as their hero, but here it was different.

"The way I see it-Sasha Vance saved Jesse. My daughter saved my life too." She took a deep breath and curled her fingers into her hair. "I wish I could have a drink. I'm a bartender and I can't drink during my lunch break." Derek chuckled softly and lifted his shoulders.

"Same way with any job, I'm afraid."

"True. Very true." She wasn't an alcoholic by any means, but sometimes it felt good to have a beer or a glass of wine when she was troubled. She could do without, however. "Regardless. I know Jesse's mom had a son born with some other guy, it was the reason for Mr. Klein's abuse. She has another child that I don't think Jesse knew about-and I don't want to come off judgmental-"

"Have you considered maybe she adopted?"

"That's always possible." It would be better that way, especially if she married a third time. The woman would have been up in years, so adoption could very well have been a better option for her.

She turned back around in her seat and leaned forward, clasping her hands together on the table. "I guess I am afraid of what they'll think of me. Who wouldn't love Sasha? She's an angel. So maybe you're right, maybe I'm afraid of being hurt. By extension, though, I'm afraid Sasha will be hurt too. She's always been close to me, and she can easily pick up emotions of those around her…"

"So you're afraid they'll hate you and turn you away, therefore turning Sasha away as well."

"Yes."

"And what did they say to Tori when she located them?" Trina bowed her head and chuckled. It seemed rather simplistic when she thought of what Tori said of their reaction. Perhaps her fears were a little out there, but she felt they were appropriate. "Trina?"

Trina lifted her head up and heaved a heavy sigh. "Tori said Linda-that's Jesse's mother-said they wanted to be a part of our lives, and us theirs." Derek clapped his hands and spread his arms out.

"Well there you have it! What's to be afraid of?"

"Rejection…"

"What is there to reject? The woman basically gave you a green light. I'd say the ball is in your court, Trina."

"Yeah but-"

Derek shook his head and smirked at her. "No buts. You make that call." Trina moaned lightly and closed her eyes.

"It's not that easy. Sure they said they wanted it, but they haven't even met me yet. What if they see me-get to know me-and then they change their mind about us?"

Derek shrugged and pushed himself up from the table. "Then they don't deserve you and Sasha, and have just missed out on having two fantastic people as part of their family." Trina whined once and looked towards her phone. "The ball is in your court, and of course you're going to be taking a chance and a risk, but what happens if it ends up being worth it? What happens if you miss the chance at something that could be great for not just Sasha, but you as well? Think about it."

"I guess…" She knew he was right, and she was only being an idiot about this entire ordeal. Sasha _deserved_ to meet these people. Even if it was just one time, even if they ended up rejecting her.

After Derek left, Trina built up some of her strength and tried to swallow her fear as she called Linda's phone number. Her heart pounded faster with each ring, to the point she had to put her hand over her heart and hold her breath.

_"Hello?"_ She took a deep breath and started to say something, but stopped as it became clear to her she'd reached a voicemail._ "You've reached Linda and Henry Andrews, we're not able to answer the phone at this time, but if you leave your information and a message, we'll call you right back!" _A lump formed in her throat as tears came to her eyes. She didn't want to talk to a machine. She couldn't. She didn't know if she'd have the bravado to answer if they called back.

No. She needed to speak to them, not a machine. She carefully turned off her phone and set it to the side, moaning under her breath as her bravado turned to disappointment and fear.

This was going to be hell.

* * *

She's definitely trying to make that contact, those nerves can be hellish though.


	12. The ballgame

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 12 (The Ballgame)

"This place is humongous!" Sasha thrilled as she looked out at the baseball stadium below. Trina was walking just behind her towards Derek, who was sitting a few seats ahead of them with two empty seats to his right. Sasha hurried to the seat beside Derek, and Trina took the aisle seat.

"Glad to see you guys showed up for the game after all," Derek remarked with a subtle smirk. "For a minute there I didn't think you'd come by."

Trina rolled her eyes and smirked back. "You knew we'd be here."

"Yes, I did." It was fine since she was comfortable being here with him so long as it wasn't a date. She wanted Sasha to experience a baseball game for the first time. Her dad had taken her to many ball games when she was a child, so it wouldn't be fair if she didn't give Sasha the same experience. "I hope you don't feel uncomfortable or anything."

"It's fine, I really just wanted to show Sasha what a baseball game is like. My father used to take me all the time. Sasha deserves the memory too." She looked to her daughter who was joyously admiring the playing field below. The wide eyed child had a look of sheer amazement in her eyes, which brought back the memory of Trina's first ball game as well. It was the very thing that made Trina want to be an athlete, leading her to play softball in her elementary school and seventh grade. She enjoyed gymnastics more, but it baseball was always an inspiration.

"Grandpa took you to ball games, Momma?"

"Yes honey. Did you know your granddad played baseball in his teenage years?" Sasha gasped and looked back in wide-eyed wonder. "He was a great batter." A woman started moving to the center of the field where the pitcher's mound was. Sasha inquired about the woman. "Looks like they're about to sing the national anthem, sweetie…"

"The anthem?" Just then the announcers asked everyone to stand for the anthem, so they did. Trina took Sasha's hand and watched her child study the singer.

When the song was done, they took their seats. "Sasha, at every game, the first thing they do is to sing the national anthem." Trina glanced at Derek for a second, then back to Sasha, recalling her conversation with the girl on the way over. "Sasha, you remember what we talked about on the way over here?" Sasha's eyes remained fixated on the field.

"Yes mommy." She tore her gaze away for a quick second. "Thank you for the opportunity!" Derek smiled at her and nodded just as Sasha turned her focus back on the players moving out into the field.

It did not take long before Sasha was entirely engrossed in the game. She'd also received a free hot dog from the vender walking about, as children under a certain age were able to eat free. Trina was routinely wiping the ketchup and mustard from her daughter's face, though the girl didn't even seem to notice.

As the game went on, Trina would watch both her daughter and Derek. She was appreciative of him for having not only offered this game but to do so with no strings attached. Of course, it seemed also like he was the only person that understood she wasn't ready to date. "Derek?" He glanced over, sipping some beer in a plastic cup. "Thanks for not trying to make this a date or anything."

He met her gaze and shrugged. "You don't seem interested in dating anyone. It's not like I'm going to make you do something you don't want to. You can't force something, if it's meant to happen, it will." She smiled at him and looked back to the game.

"You know. I was about five when my dad took me to my first game. He also caught a ball for me. I don't know what happened to it, but it was one of my favorite trophies." She tilted her head to the right and clicked her tongue as she thought back to her life in LA. She was pretty sure she lost the ball due to Robbie sneaking into her room once after the boys lost a ball of their own while playing, then they proceeded to hit her ball in the lake, only choosing to tell her in a way as if to say it wasn't important. "I think it was lost due to carelessness of people."

"Ah that's a shame." Derek adjusted himself in his seat and exhaled slowly. "Maybe Sasha will be so lucky to get her first game ball." Her daughter lit up at the mention of her name and looked back with a wide grin.

"You're going to get a ball for me?" Sasha enthused. "I hope so!" Trina laughed and Derek swept his hand through his hair. However it happened, he was going to have to get Sasha game ball eventually, though it didn't really matter.

"Well if I must." Sasha squealed and returned to the game. Derek shook his head and emitted a soft chuckle. "I have to say Trina, you have a precious daughter."

"I spoil her sometimes."

"That's not a bad thing."

"It is when your sister does the same thing." She laughed once more. "I do the best that I can. I think that's enough. I want to go above and beyond, but it's difficult."

"That's the best you can do. You love her and that's what counts."

"No doubt there." She rolled her head to the side and watched as her team went up to bat. When they hit the ball, she cheered with the fans. Seeing a connection, Sasha started to do the same. The batter made it to second base and stopped, the player on third made it to home in a spectacular run that ended with a slide onto home.

"Derek, I've been thinking. If I ever do start dating again, I don't know that I'm ready for a relationship or not but I need to be able to adjust. I need to be able to date without worrying about whether or not something is going to happen." Of course, that also went without saying, she didn't feel confident in herself to carry out an actual relationship anymore.

After Sinjin and Jesse, there was the fact that anyone she dated before the two men had been jackasses of some sort. She needed someone mature, someone who could have the patience to deal with her while letting her grow.

"Fair enough," Derek turned up a slight smile and nodded his head. "If you're wanting to try and date around, do that when you're ready and because you want to. Not because people are telling you to do it."

"I wonder if it wouldn't be fair though, I mean-I'd _like_ to try and take it cautiously but I don't want to date for a full relationship yet because I'm not comfortable with that."

"There's nothing wrong with dating around just to get a feel of it again. You can always go in with no strings attached so long as you let the person know whether you're interested in a long term or not. Like me, for example, I'd rather a long term, serious relationship with someone-but someone in your situation might not be ready for that. It's a step-by-step process, to be honest. Focus on the important stuff, whether or not you're ready to date is something that doesn't need attention."

"Right…" She took a deep breath and looked back to the baseball game. It seemed that she could definitely focus on the important things while being relieved that she didn't have to pressure herself into getting into something she didn't want to. "Important…I um called Linda. Mrs. Andrews, Jesse's mother." Derek's eyebrows rose and he curled his lips into a smile.

"How'd that go?"

"Didn't get a chance to talk to her, I got a voice machine. I know I need to call again. This is important to me, important to Sasha. I'm glad no one is forcing this on me…" She only needed time, and other people needed to be patient with her. "As a mom, you know what the most important part of my life is. If I don't give my daughter a life she deserves, then I feel like I'm failing her…"

"I'd say it looks like you're doing just fine. Don't sell yourself short, especially not when that child looks at you with the amount of love that she does. Something my mother always says: The measure of parenting is how your child looks at you. Be able to provide for them but also love them."

"Yeah, it's the one thing I don't doubt, actually. It's all the other stuff that terrifies me."

Derek chuckled and leaned back, "Things have a funny way of working. You'll be fine."

She felt a tug on her arm and looked to see Sasha pointing at the field, "Look momma! There's someone on all the bases!" She looked out with astonishment, grinning at the batter that was stepping up to the plate. Will Raymond, the superstar batter.

"Knock it out of the park!" Exclaimed a nearby fan, which was followed up by an immaculate cheering. Sasha's eyes flooded with anticipation while Trina waited eagerly for the hit.

"And we're on the last run of the game," the announcer lit up, "It's now or never. Raymond's stepping up to the plate, the scores are tied up with mere _seconds_ left in the game. I'm telling you Jack, I've never been this excited in my life."

The co announcer laughed out, "Don't tell your wife that, Tom."

Trina heard a chorus nearby and looked over with Sasha, who was watching now a group of fans a few rows down singing an old baseball adage, which was usual for fans to use to try and prep up Raymond.

_Take me out to the ball game, take me out with the crowd. Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack, I don't care if I never get back! Let me root-root-root for the home team, if they don't win it's a shame. For it's one! Two! Three strikes, you're out at the old ball game!_

To see Sasha cheering with the kids brightened Trina's day some more, and of course, she hoped this would be the start of something Sasha may truly enjoy.

On the field, Raymond pat his bat on the base and raised up his bat to his shoulder. He spit out on the ground and a deafening silence grew in the stands as the batter eyed the pitcher with ferocity. The pitcher brought the ball up, looked over his shoulder and back, then threw the ball.

A crack sounded out the hit, and everyone in the stands rose up with an almighty cheer as the announcers declared a home run hit! The ball flew up into the stands near Derek. Many reached for it, but it was Derek that managed to grab it with swift precision.

The baseball players ran over the home mat and the team band began to boast a mighty tune while the pitcher tossed down his cap and walked back to his team. "Our team won!" Sasha enthused while trying to look through the standing fans. "Momma I can't see."

Trina looked over just in time to see Derek pick Sasha up and move her up to his shoulders. She smiled as her daughter looked out to the field and threw her arms up into the air, cheering happily. Derek looked up and lifted the ball, "Sasha look what I got." Sasha looked down at the ball and smiled as she took it into her hands. "It's your first game ball. Guard it well." With that, Sasha instantly shoved the ball into one of her pockets.

"You can get it autographed," Trina remarked, "The players do that now for fans that end up catching a game ball."

"That's right." Derek glanced up to Sasha with a grin. "Sasha what do you say we get your trophy signed by the players?"

"Yes please! Can we momma?" Trina laughed and reached up, rubbing her daughter's back and smiling into her gaze.

"Of course sweetie. I'm glad you had fun."

"Is there going to be another game, momma?"

"There will be many more." Needless to say, she would enjoy taking her daughter to more of these games. So long as she remained interested. "Now, let's get your ball signed and head home."

* * *

Hope you enjoyed this chapter, now I'll go ahead and give you the next since I'm feeling generous today.


	13. Dreaming of a Good Family

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 12 (Dream of a Good Family)

Wednesday mornings were rough on Trina now, or at least, one of the days that were. With her work schedule, she had Wednesdays off along with Fridays, Sundays, and only the morning of Monday. The days she had off were among the most boring and eventless, especially since now she was alone in the house. More than anything she hated to be alone.

Currently she was sitting at the table, thumbing through a Sunday newspaper. It was amazing that newspapers were still in print. Tori always questioned why she read the paper when she could see the same stuff on the computer, but it was just something she liked to do. There was something relaxing about the crinkle of the paper and the smell of fresh coffee in the mornings, which she would miss due to the luminescence of a computer screen.

Plus news on the computer seemed only to be for those looking for something specific. She was sifting through a page with homes for rent, and gawking at the prices. At 11.50 an hour plus tips, she didn't think she could afford any of this. Then again, most of these homes looked like they were in more upscale communities.

"I need a better job." She rubbed her finger and thumb against her forehead, pushing her skin in circular form as she closed her eyes in contemplation of the prices. It wasn't just the job on her mind though, or the homes for rent, it was everything in the world coming onto her with tremendous weight and pressure.

She closed the paper and dropped it onto the table. Her eyes drifted to the clock, where she saw it was only nine in the morning. Her coffee was half gone and there was literally nothing to distracted her stressed and bored mind. She hadn't tried calling Linda Andrews yet, though it had been a week.

Tori was at Ben's parents with the newborn baby, she'd offered Trina to go with her, but Trina really didn't feel like seeing the people. If they didn't view her as family, there was no way she viewed them as such. Tori could have the time of her life with them if she wanted, but Trina wasn't having any of it.

Trina looked to her cell phone on the table and grasped her silver coffee mug. As she brought the cup to her lips, she studied the contact list with tired eyes. Still the thought of contacting the woman made her heart race. There were many questions she had, and she was sure the woman had questions of her own. Still, Sasha needed a family that would love her and value her on the same plane as their own, unlike Tori's fickle in-laws. Not to mention, Trina knew she herself needed help, she wanted to feel like she and her daughter could be a part of that kind of family.

Could Linda really be that family? It was just another stressful decision to make with her already clouded, doubting mind.

She took another sip of coffee. Trina held the liquid on her tongue to absorb the flavor before swallowing. Her muscles were tense and rigid, which didn't help when she tried to practice some old martial arts formations earlier. She was more than just a little rusty, she'd forgotten some things and was constantly tense to the point she could not relax her muscles enough to perform some of the advanced moves she used to. It was like she had some sort of blockage keeping her from relaxing.

Casey said it was best to find a hobby, but she tried many things that had not helped her to relax or distract her mind from the constant worries she struggled with.

Her eyes drifted to the back of the paper where a small ad caught her attention. It had a fancy style font with a thick border around it. _Classical Piano Lessons for Adults, Free Lessons._ She reached for the paper, gripping the edge with her thumb and forefinger. She curled her remaining fingers beneath the paper and set the mug down beside it. Her eyebrows furrowed as her eyes moved intently across the words. _Wednesdays or Saturdays until 5:00 PM. Contact Taylor Walton. 23 Orchid Street, Floral Park New York."_ It was twenty minute drive from Manhattan, form what she understood of the location of that particular town. Certainly she could give it a shot, since she knew piano was supposedly relaxing for the nerves.

After a minute of deliberation, she dialed the number offered in the ad and waited until a woman answered. She had a young sounding voice, to which with the dialect she placed her as in her twenties. " Hello, is this Taylor Walton?"

"Yes."

"Hi I'm Trina-" She froze at the slip up, but decided to move on, deciding it didn't matter if she said her real name or the name given by the FBI. "I was calling about your piano lessons…"

"Oh! You got the ad in the paper?"

"Yeah. I've got a lot on my mind, need something that'll help me relax-especially with my daughter starting school up."

"Yes, I totally understand. I have a son that started Kindergarten just last year. Piano lessons are a great way to relax. Also a great hobby for moms. Tell you what. If you're available today, why don't you come over and we'll talk.

"Sounds great." She looked up to the clock and turned her lips upwards. "How's noon?"

"Perfect. I'll see you then, Trina."

When she arrived, she took note of the home. It was a simple one story home with a garden out front. There was a sidewalk from the front door down to the mailbox that guided Trina along. She hit the doorbell and looked around the porch; it was a small patio with a stone border and column that went up on the right side. A potted plant hung from the ceiling. The door was a soft brown maple with an oval glass pane window that had several bumps to a give a watery like appearance that obscured the inside and outside.

A woman with a soft round face and tan complexion opened the door. She had eyes as blue as the sky and dark red hair that fell over her shoulders. She was wearing a long sleeved blue shirt with a V-neck collar and denim jeans. "You must be Taylor," Trina extended a hand and smiled as the woman returned the handshake. "I'm Trina. I normally go by Sherry, for various reasons, but go ahead and call me Trina."

"Okay. It's good to meet you."

"Who's at the door, momma!" Taylor looked over her shoulder as a young redheaded girl came running up. Trina smiled at the pigtailed child and was instantly reminded of Sasha. This girl looked the same age as her own. The child hid behind Taylor, holding onto her leg. "Piano student?"

"Yes Jessica." Jessica stepped out to the side and waved at Trina. Trina waved her fingers at the girl and smiled as the child ran off to her room. "That is my youngest. Jessica, she is three."

"She's adorable, reminds me of my daughter a little."

"How old is your little one?"

"She just turned four." Trina reached into her purse while Taylor simply stared at her as though studying her. After fumbling around for a minute, she removed a photo of Sasha and showed it to Taylor. "This is Sasha. She's starting kindergarten this fall." Taylor's eyebrows rose and her lips curved into a smile. There was a flicker of surprise in the woman's eyes that passed after a second. "So, you said your son started kindergarten?"

"Yes. James is at school. My husband, Brian, is away on business." Trina let her guide her through the house towards the studio. Along the walls she saw various family photos. In each picture, there were members of the family all with warm smiles and each picture displaying some deep level of care.

"You really have a beautiful family, Mrs. Walton." Taylor turned over her shoulder, laughing slightly.

"Call me Taylor. I'm 26, _Mrs. _Makes me sound so old. And thank you."

"Okay. Taylor…why _free_ piano lessons?"

"Well, Brian is a Pilot. Former Air Force, he works for American Airlines now, so we have a comfortable living. I'm stay at home mom, which really is good for family."

"You're big on family too. So am I-though my family isn't as big as yours looks."

Taylor laughed again and waved her hand in the air, "You might be surprised." When they reached the music studio, there was a wooden Yamaha piano sitting on the center. There was also a cabinet in front of the piano with glass display to show a variety of photos of perhaps extended family members.

One picture stood out to her, as if something were calling her to it. In the center of the display case was a photo of a man and woman at their wedding. The woman had sandy blonde hair that curled behind her ears and curly bangs that hung loosely over eerily familiar brown eyes. The man beside her had short red hair with a receding hairline and bright blue eyes. Beside them was a twelve year old girl with long red hair, that Trina could only assume was Taylor. Beside Taylor was a six year old girl with short brown hair, holding onto a bouquet. "Taylor?"

"Yes?"

"Is this your mom and dad?"

Taylor looked up from the piano and smiled at the photo. "Yeah, that's my dad with his second wife in 2005. They were dating for about a year and decided to get married after adopting Abigail." Trina looked to the young child with a smile and moved her hand to her chin.

"Abigail's the child there. Adopted?"

"My little sister, yep. She's definitely not the innocent little girl in that picture anymore…" Trina chuckled softly for a moment, then moved towards the piano. Tori came to her mind, which was really nice to be reminded of her own family. "So, have you played the piano before?"

"Not really. My sister had a friend that did once, but I don't know if he played classical."

"Classical is Brahms, Beethoven, Hanon...I'll start you off with a warm up exercise." Trina sat down on the bench, still eyeing the picture. Taylor caught her looking and leaned back slightly. "Abigail is going to college to be a painter. Finally settled down and married the father of her child."

"She have a child young?"

"She was eighteen. John's into real estate."

"John?"

"Her husband. They live up in the Bronx. He's with a realtor who sells homes all over New York and parts of New Jersey." Trina's eyebrows shot up and she started to get an idea. Maybe this John guy could help her find a place to move to with Sasha, somewhere not too far from Tori but also a place that was quiet and a good location to bring her daughter up. Taylor pressed a few keys on the piano, testing the tune out, then paused. She turned her eyes to Trina and cleared her throat. "Also if you ever find yourself needing a pediatrician for your daughter, my sister in law is a pediatrician."

"You've got a brother?"

"Yes. Her practice is in lower Manhattan, but they live in Bayside near Queens. Anyway, let's get started on the lesson."

"Sounds good to me."

The piano lesson in length was about forty minutes, and it was indeed relaxing. Her mind was cleared of clutter and for the first time in a long time, her body wasn't tense. The music was soothing and Taylor's instructions were clear.

She planned on making a stop to a music store so she could buy herself a piano and practice some at home. Even at beginner level, this was something therapeutic and healthy.

Towards the end of the lesson, Trina caught a glimpse of another peculiar photo in the display case. This was a more recent picture of Taylor, Abigail, and an older man. This man had dark brown eyes, short and curly brown hair that was nearly black, and a thin beard that ran along his jawline and chin.

The trio were standing side by side with Abigail in the center, holding onto her baby daughter. Taylor's two children were standing at her feet, and at the man's side was a young boy clutching his father's leg. A girl Sasha's age was sitting on his shoulders. "Who's that guy?" Trina pointed to the picture as she and Taylor stopped by the doorway.

"Marshall. My younger step-brother. By about a year, he was born in '93. He is a bank manager. That picture was taken just this last Christmas." Taylor led her out into the living room, offering something to drink.

"Water, I suppose…"

"Okay." Trina took a deep breath as Taylor moved for the kitchen. The woman was still talking, but louder so Trina could hear. "Tell me, are you a single mom or do you have a husband?"

"Not married. Selectively single. Granted the closest to marriage I ever got was with Sasha's father." That was very true, since Jesse probably would have wanted to be with her if he lived long enough to see Sasha. She was almost tempted to take Jesse's last name as her own, but with the FBI changing her identity altogether it probably wouldn't matter. "Wanted to take his last name when he passed, but it didn't work out that way."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Taylor returned with a water bottle. Trina graciously accepted it and uncapped it. "He loved you then, and you him?"

"Yes, and now my smartass sister managed to locate his family-who apparently want to see me." Taylor flashed a smile before laughing.

"You should meet them then if they want to meet you!"

"I know, but truth be told, I'm a little frightened."

"Of what?"

"They'll think badly of me." Taylor raised an eyebrow and Trina took a swig of her drink. "Scared they won't accept Sasha. I can't take anymore judgmental people. Sasha's dad and I-we would probably be married if he hadn't passed away. I guess-I guess I'm also wondering about his mom, Linda." Taylor slowly nodded. Trina's heart began to race once again and she closed her eyes, inhaling carefully. "I've heard so many stories about her-about Jesse's dad-that I'm nervous. He didn't even leave on a good note."

"Well Trina…" Taylor pat her on the shoulder and smiled warmly. "My advice is to take a chance, they could surprise you, but don't do anything until you're ready. Inevitably, Sasha's well-being is the most important thing. She'll have to be ready too."

"I know…and the funny thing is, I think she's more ready than I am." Trina moved her hand to her chest and slowly shook her head. "I'm terrified, but I know she needs a family. One that will love her and treat her like their own-because my sister's in-laws are the only ones and they don't treat her like family."

"I'm sorry about that. Maybe you'll get lucky, maybe this family will be big family people and they'll treat you and Sasha just like family. Because, I mean, why wouldn't they? Sasha's blood." Trina felt reassured, and was a little more comfortable with the idea of contacting Linda and Henry.

"Yeah. Yeah, maybe I will give them a call. I just-I don't know how to go about it. I don't want them thinking I want money or anything."

Taylor moved her hands to her hips and raised an eyebrow of skepticism towards her. "Why would they think that if _they're_ the ones that want to reach out and see you and Sasha? Come on Trina, think about it." Trina chuckled and made her way to the door.

"Sure, I'll think on it." She opened the door and waved at Taylor. The next lesson was Saturday, and during a time she wasn't working. This was good, since it would give her two lessons a week instead of just one. "Saturday, then? I'll bring Sasha along, maybe she can play with James and Jessica." Taylor's expression relaxed and she quickly nodded.

"That be great. See you around Trina."

"Bye Taylor."

* * *

Hope you enjoyed that chapter, next one Trina goes to see Taylor's realtor brother-in-law. Hm, Taylor sure seems to have a nice family, definitely a type of family Trina would love to have.


	14. The Realtor's Wife

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 14 (The Realtor's Wife)

"Momma why are we here?" Sasha hopped out of the car and landed beside Trina. They were standing in front of a company called _Greyson Realty._ It was the place that Taylor had given her, along with directions over the phone. Sasha looked up to the sign and struggled on the words. "Gray…son…Re-Real-try?" Trina reached to her daughter's head, rubbing her hair and giving the child a warm smil.

"Greyson Realty. They sell homes here. My new piano instructor suggested them. Mr. Greyson is her sister's brother." She was also considering the sister-in-law that Taylor said was a pediatrician. Sasha needed a better doctor than a free clinic one, or one that Tori would pay. It was unfortunate she didn't have money to afford that, nor did she have health insurance. "I'm going to see if we can find ourselves a small apartment."

"Okay!" She lifted her hand up to her face and swept some fallen hair from her eyes while Sasha grasped her pant leg. The young girl was as nervous as she was, but Trina couldn't figure out why the hell she was so anxious. "Momma? How long are we going to stand out here?" Trina closed her eyes and chuckled once.

"Until Momma calms her nerves." Trina glanced to the door to see a small two year old child watching them from the inside. The girl had short, light brown hair, blue eyes puffy cheeks. Sasha grinned at the toddler and hurried to the door, exclaiming that she wanted to play with the girl. "Sasha!"

"Come on mommy, let's go inside!" She tucked her right thumb into her pocket and pushed open the door once the girl inside moved aside. "Sasha, stay close to-" Almost instantly, Sasha ran off with the girl. She scraped her fingernails along her forehead and exhaled softly. "Where are they going."

"John's office," someone replied. She turned to see a young woman with curly brown hair and bushy eyebrows. The girl had a gentle smile and a warm gaze. "I'm Abigail. That was Amy, she knows she can't play outside her dad's office, so I'll take you there. Trina right? Taylor told me a little about you, since she recommended my husband to you."

"Right." She _hoped_ to be able to use her alias name, but clearly that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. "I thought she said he just worked as a realtor, I didn't know he owned the company."

"It's his father's company, actually. Jack Greyson. So he doesn't really own it yet, but one day he will." They walked to John's office where Sasha and Amy were playing with some toddler toys. At the desk sat a man with neatly trimmed blonde hair with a spike in the front. He was wearing a red button up shirt and had freckled cheeks. The man rose up and extended his hand, charming her with a smile.

"John. You must be this Trina I've heard about."

Trina shook his hand and furrowed her brow while holding back a nervous chuckle. "How much did Taylor say?"

"That you were thinking of renting a home or apartment." John folded his arms and pointed his fingers downward to the binder on the desk. "I usually sell homes, but I do have names and numbers of people that have bought homes and are renting them. I can connect you to the best people."

"And affordable," Abigail added. "We like to provide some discounts if possible." John lowered his hands to his waist and bowed his head.

"Not _usually_, but there are instances where we might. Pretty much the only discounts we give out are to family of our realtors, Abigail…" Abigail rolled her eyes and moved her hands to her hips.

"Well my sister's the one that sent her this way." Trina sat down in one of the leather office chairs and crossed her right leg over her left as she watched the children play. Abigail and John watched the two as well.

The girls were laughing with one another, and Sasha seemed to be telling Amy a story with the toys. Every so often, Amy would clap her hands and Sasha would grin. "I've never seen her get along with other children so well," Trina acknowledged her surprise. She really hadn't seen Sasha with any other children besides the ones at preschool, and even then, she never watched her interact. It was good to know that Sasha's shyness didn't extend to other children her age.

Abigail took a seat and studied the kids with a serene expression. "Was her dad fairly outspoken?" Trina leaned back at the thought and smiled brightly. It was Jesse's extraverted personality and care that got him talking to her, so it probably was.

"Any shyness she got, she got from me. Jesse was always outspoken. That's how we met, actually." Abigail turned the chair around and leaned forward against the back of it, folding her arms over the top of the chair and resting her chin on her arms. The girl looked over to Trina with a soft attentive smile. "I was going through a rough time and Jesse saw me pretty much wandering in the rain, so he called for me to get out of the rain. He washed my clothes for me and had a friend offer me some clean clothes to wear."

"He sounds like he was a gentleman.

"Yeah, and a strong, firm but compassionate boss. He ran his own store and had strict rules, but he made sure his workers were always taken care of. Same for this…community he was a part of." Trina's eyebrows meshed together and she crossed her arms. "But he was a good man. We didn't date for a few months and wanted to wait before having kids."

"What happened to him? If you don't mind me asking…" Abigail leaned upright. John sat on the edge of his desk and crossed his arms, giving his wife a look of concern. "I don't want to bring up any painful memories."

She bowed her head and lifted her hand up before slowly patting her arm. She didn't want to say, but at the same time, she felt like it was okay if she did. This was a strange and frightening feeling. "It's okay. Jesse was…murdered by a very bad man." She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. "He died before we even knew I was pregnant with Sasha."

"I'm sorry." She watched Abigail take a deep breath and studied the girl's glossy eyes. "So you're a widow then."

"We never married. Wouldn't surprise me if he thought about it, the thought might have crossed my mind once or twice. I mean, I wasn't going to leave him, I was perfectly content with him being that man in my life."

"Then that makes you a widow. You don't have to be married by paper. You seem like a good woman, and if you loved each other, then I think that's all that matters." Abigail hung an arm over the chair and looked towards Sasha with a smile. "You two obviously have a wonderful and beautiful daughter together. It's sad he's not here anymore, but you know something? You and Sasha are, you two are alive and that's what counts. Something tells me he would have wanted that."

"Yeah." A tear fell along her cheek and she quickly swept it away. A tight feeling came across her chest as she struggled with the mournful thoughts of Jesse. "He was always saying how he wanted a better life for me. If he were alive when he knew I was pregnant, he would have worked twice as hard for that goal."

"Have you met his family yet?" John asked abruptly. Trina jerked and Abigail glanced to her husband with arched eyebrows. How would the guy even think to ask? "Sounds like he was a very good man. Maybe his family's good people."

"It's funny you mention them." Trina switched her legs and flexed her left hand onto her knee. "Jesse was…separated from them at a very young age. He went to his birth father, who wasn't the _best_ influence in his life." She swept her hair over her shoulder. "His mom-I think he thought she would hate him."

Abigail meshed her eyebrows and pressed her lips firmly together. "For what?"

"There was an issue with an abusive stepdad, but I'd rather not go into that." Abigail and John slowly nodded their heads as Trina continued. Trina scratched at her forehead once more and exhaled carefully. She wasn't sure what was making her say all this, she was more private than this. "I'm really a private woman, there's a lot I shouldn't be telling you right now…but regardless. I haven't met his mom or the family she has. I'm a little scared to. I think they might judge me for not having been married to Jesse-but we only slept together _one time._ I am _not_ a-you know-um-" She motioned to the children. John dismissed with the shake of his hand while Abigail gave a firm nod.

"I understand, and I don't think you are. At least, you don't seem the type woman to sleep around-it only takes one time."

"Exactly-though some old ladies at my sister's church-and my sister's in-laws don't seem to get that. I guess I'm a little afraid they'll judge me for that-Jesse's family. Then I'd worry they might think I just want money-"

"They're the ones reaching out to you, aren't they?"

"Well yes, but after my sister found them."

She saw John picking at some lint on his shoulder. "Who's to say they haven't been looking?" He asked. "Wouldn't surprise me if they were looking around for their son."

"I don't know. It sounded like his mom was pretty happy. She has a son, a stepdaughter and…another child which I'm not sure how that came about because it sounds like the child was born while she was with her second husband, not the third. Jesse would have known…"

Abigail's face fell flat for a second and her response came out with a slightly dull tone, "Consider she possibly adopted? I mean I was adopted-granted a couple months before my parents married."

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It's the only explanation that makes sense-but I'm really not concerned. My sister, and a couple of my friends want me to call them. I want to as well, but like I said-"

"You're scared to. Yeah. I'm sure they won't bite, but your fear is understandable. With a man as mysterious sounding as Jesse was, that can only make his family sound that much more mysterious. Right?"

"Right. But I'm going to do it, I'm going to call them. I think Jesse would want that-and I _know_ I want it. I want Sasha to have a family." Abigail and John smiled as Trina turned her gaze towards her daughter. "More than anything she needs a family that will love her. Growing up with only a mom and an aunt can't be easy on someone. I personally never knew my grandparents-and both of my parents are gone. The only grandparent Sasha has now is Jesse's mom…I just need to get over my terror and meet her…"

"Aside from the judgmental fear, what else has you afraid of her?" John inquired of her. Trina shrugged and shook her head.

"I don't know. From what Jesse's told me, she doesn't sound that bad-aside from having an affair-she was with two abusive husbands. Jesse's father and stepdad, so I guess I'd be worried that she's got a lot of anger held in her. Especially after the issue between Jesse and his stepdad."

"What happened?" She honestly didn't want to elaborate on this, because she didn't want anyone to think of Jesse as a criminal. Even if it was self-defense.

"Let's just say there was a fight. Stepdad attacked his mother, Jesse attacked the man, then ran off thinking his mom would hate him." John's eyebrow raised as Abigail pursed her lips.

"Jesse protected his mom then," Abigail remarked, "So maybe that's how she views it. A mother typically loves her child no matter what, as I'm sure you know that to be true with your daughter." Yes, there was nothing Sasha could do to make Trina love her any less than she did.

A smile curled on her face. "Yeah, there's nothing Sasha could do to change how I feel about her. She's my daughter, my light and my life."

"Exactly. So it's possible that his mom always loved him and wanted to find him afterwards but couldn't locate him for some reason."

"Well he found his dad, and his dad was a pretty secretive man."

"Then that explain that…"

John checked his cell phone and raised an eyebrow. When she heard him clear his throat, Trina glanced over with Abigail. "Quick question. When was the last time Sasha had a checkup?" He was studying his phone, which was a bit concerning.

"It's been a while, sadly. I haven't had health insurance since Medicaid fell through the roof a couple years ago. I don't know what happened there or why it stopped applying to me, but I've been needing to get health insurance so I can get Sasha to a real doctor and not just one of those cheap free clinics…"

"Why do you ask?" Abigail asked. John looked up from his phone and turned to his wife.

"Your sister-in-law heard from Taylor." Abigail cracked a smile and Trina did a double take. "And your phone is apparently still off so she texted me." John looked to Trina and motioned towards Sasha. "This is going to sound odd, so uh-yeah I apologize if it sounds extremely awkward-but Hannah wants you to bring Sasha into her clinic whenever we're done here. She wants to know if Sasha's had a recent checkup and all her vaccinations."

"I still need to get her polio vaccination this year. Like I said, don't have health insurance, and can't get in to see any doctors because of it. Every time I take Sasha to a free clinic, she gets sick from one of the other people in the waiting room…"

"Right, well, I don't know what Hannah has in mind but I'm guessing Taylor told you she's a pediatrician? Maybe see what she wants?"

"I guess it couldn't hurt…" She _needed_ to get Sasha an appointment, so regardless of how weird it felt for her, this was a blessing in disguise. "I guess tell Hannah I'll bring Sasha in to see her, but I still haven't looked at any of the homes for rent that you have available." She looked towards Sasha and shrugged. "It can wait though, maybe? The sooner I can get Sasha a physical this year, the better." She'd just have to call Tori and ask if she'd foot the doctor bill, which was something she _hated_ to do, but there wasn't much choice in the matter.

"It's fine," Abigail cheered, "Maybe Hannah can figure out why Medicaid turned you down. I know some of the things from our previous president have really affected it, a lot of parents that _need_ that insurance have lost it, so it's not just you."

"Yeah. It might just be that I included my sister's and her husband's income as the household income. I don't know if I was supposed to…Tori's an FBI agent and Ben's a lawyer, so _they're_ not poor…and I never activated Jesse's income, since we were never legally married it wouldn't have applied to me. Should have applied to Sasha, but I guess not."

"Right, well Hannah can help with that."

"I hope so...all strangeness aside, this really is a blessing." Hell, it was strange that in this one week she was meeting her piano teacher's family, but she was a single mom trying to do the best for her daughter. She would take all the help she could get and would not turn down help from anyone or anything.

* * *

Surely there is a reason for this roundabout. The good thing is Trina will be getting her daughter a check up, though Sasha extremely hates hospitals and those immunization shots.


	15. The Doctor's Appointment

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 15 (Doctor's Appointment)

Trina sat in the expansive waiting room with Sasha grasping her right wrist and struggling not to appear fearful. Trina understood the girl's worry, since Sasha hated the doctor. Every experience at a free clinic or doctor's office had been a bad one and usually ended up with Sasha contracting someone else's sickness.

To Trina's pleasure, the chairs in the waiting room were spaced well apart along both walls and in the center, not to mention the place was big enough that the other patients in the area were seated a ways away from her. "Why do we have to be here, Momma? I don't like the doctor. I don't want to be here."

"I know baby, I don't like it any more than you do, but it's necessary for your health. This doctor sounds nice too, sweetie, I think you'll like her." Sasha squirmed in her chair and shook her head.

"I'll get sick. I always get sick when we see doctor, I don't wanna get sick, momma. Don't let me get sick." She started to respond, but was cut off when she heard the nurse call her back. Sasha tensed, but followed as Trina made her way to the nurse. She felt her daughter's tiny hand gripping hers powerfully, nearly crushing the bones inside. Sasha was giving the nurse a guarded glare.

The nurse checked the clipboard once more, smiling at Trina and Sasha. "Sasha Vega-Klein?" Sasha shook her head at the woman.

"Klein is my daddy's name, but we don't go by his name because Auntie Victoria said it was a bad idea." Trina was curious as to how the nurse even knew the name, but thought little of it. It was sometimes a mistake of her own where she would almost put Klein down as Sasha's given name, so she thought perhaps that was what happened here.

"That's correct."

"Then follow right this way, Miss Hannah will be right with you Sasha." Trina followed along and watched as the nurse took Sasha's height and weight. She was three feet and two inches, and weighed thirty-six pounds. Sasha reluctantly let the nurse take her remaining vitals and was guided to the hospital room.

After some preliminary questions, the nurse informed them that he doctor would be in shortly. She was pleased that the doctor got on a friendly level with the children, letting them call her Miss Hannah instead the full title. It seemed a good way to truly connect with the young children.

Sasha took her seat on the patient bed and looked towards Trina with a sorrowful pout. "Don't let me get sick, Momma…" Trina returned a reassuring, warm gaze and reached over to take her hand in hers.

"Don't worry baby, Momma won't let anything happen." She had a feeling that if Sasha was like this now, then when that shot came, it was going to be a nightmare for the both of them, and maybe even the doctor.

The doctor walked in a couple minutes later. She had short and wavy brown hair that dipped just past her jawline and framed her oval shaped head. Her eyebrows were thin and her eyes held a tender warmth that matched her soothing voice. "Hi there," Hannah chimed. Sasha smiled nervously and firmly grasped the edge of the bed. Hannah sat down on the peach stool, which was eye level with Sasha. "You can call me Dr. Hannah." The name badge was hanging from a metal clip on Hannah's lab coat. It was facing sideways, so Trina was unable to see it. "How are you today, sweetie?"

"I don't want to be here, Miss Hannah. I don't want to get sick!"

"Sick? You're at the doctor's office, you should be healing." Sasha shook her head and closed her eyes.

"I get sick every time I see the doctor. You're not sick are you? You won't get me sick?"

"No, no, I'm healthy. The nurses checked, nobody is sick today." She winked and Sasha started to smile. Hannah looked to her clipboard and tapped her chin. "You appear healthy too, and at taller than average."

Trina closed her purse and pulled the strap over her shoulder while listening to the doctor try and get Sasha comfortable. "Both her dad and maternal grandfather were tall men." Hannah glanced at her and nodded. "I don't know about the men on her father's side of the family. I think her father's biological dad was a tall man too, and I am not sure about her maternal grandmother." It was unfortunate that she would be unable to provide an accurate family medical history for the doctor, but this was the best she could do. "Her dad passed away before childbirth as well…"

"I see. How much of the father's medical history do you know?" Trina furrowed her brow and leaned back in the chair. From what she could recall, Jesse was healthy. He _did_ have a weaker immune system, but he kept it in check with proper diet and exercise.

"I know Jesse had a poor immune system, which is why Sasha gets sick so often if she's around others that are sick."

"Right." Hannah swept a wave of hair from her face and curled her brows inward. "Though, children have developing bodies and immune systems as well that make them more susceptible to illness. What is Sasha's history like?"

"She had pneumonia when she was two, and also had jaundice at a young age." Hannah started writing down the information and Trina looked over to Sasha, who was swaying her feet idly in the air.

"Has she had a regular physician?"

"No. Not since we moved to New York. Medicaid dropped me for some reason." Hannah's eyebrow arched and she lowered the clipboard down to her lap. "I'm not sure why exactly."

"All right Ms-What can I call you, Vega or…" Hannah glanced to the paper attached to the clipboard. "Klein?"

"I don't normally go by Jesse's name. I hyphenate it sometimes but we never legally married, so typically it's just Vega. Call me Trina…"

"Okay Trina. We'll figure out why Medicaid probably dropped you from their plan, but after I give Sasha the proper physical." Trina nodded as Hannah turned to the young girl.

They physical didn't take long at all, most of everything was Hannah checking her reflex along with collecting the proper medical history from Trina. Sasha hadn't been through much in her four years of life aside from the pneumonia and the jaundice.

The part Trina was worried about was the polio vaccination. As Trina predicted, the minute the nurse brought the syringe in, Sasha was freaking out. Trina sat beside her and let Sasha lean against her, huffing a sob. "I don't want a shot…"

"Sasha," Hannah spoke softly and looked the sniffling girl in the eyes with a reassuring smile. "Look at me sweetie, you'll be just fine." Sasha started to whine as the nurse walked over to the girl's free side. Trina felt her nudge closer to her and held her close to comfort her. Sasha's eyes drifted towards the needle, and her body began to tremble. "Sasha, keep looking at me dear." The child's eyes flicked back to Hannah and she relaxed her body.

"Why do I need this?"

"It will keep you from getting sick, dear. It won't hurt either, so just take a calm breath and relax. You're going to be just fine." Trina watched the nurse gently take Sasha's arm. The girl flinched, but kept her gaze with Hannah. "You're a very brave girl, Sasha. You've got your mom beside you too. Have you been looking out for her?"

"I have…" Sasha's lips curved up. She sniffled for a second and leaned her head against Trina's shoulder. "Mommy needs me, she wouldn't be mommy without me." Trina relaxed herself and kissed the top of her daughter's head.

"I bet she wouldn't."

"Nope. I've got to look after my momma, Papa would want me to. It's just us right now, so besides Auntie Victree, momma doesn't have anyone else looking after her." Trina chuckled as Sasha continued to boast her heroism over being the one to watch over her mother. She was pretty sure it was the other way around, but she'd let her daughter have her moment. "One day I'm going to be big and strong just like momma and papa was. Also my granddad. He was a hero."

Trina lifted an eyebrow as the nurse administered the shot. Sasha didn't budge at all, it was as though she didn't realize the shot had been in. "Well her maternal grandfather," Trina added, "Apparently the paternal one-opposite end of the spectrum."

"Momma, have you ever met papa's dad?"

"Thankfully, no. He was not a good man, Sasha." Sasha frowned and turned her attention to the bandaid on her arm. She furrowed her brow and tilted her head, slowly realizing that someone had already given her a shot. The nurse smiled and Trina hugged her baffled daughter. "See baby, you didn't even notice the nurse giving you the shot. That wasn't so hard, was it?" Sasha looked at Hannah with awe filled eyes.

"You're a nice doctor! Momma and I have to go to these bad clinics and sit with a bunch of sick people, then the doctors just send us away after a few minutes. I don't like shots because they're always painful!" Hannah closed her eyes and chuckled.

"I think the pain of the needle is in the fear, unless the nurse is doing something wrong. I have only the best staff for my patients. I'm a mother too, and I know I would want my children and family to be seen only by the best."

"You're a mother like my mom?"

"Yes. I look after them just as your mom takes care of you." Hannah walked over to a jar of tootsie pops and pulled out a couple suckers. Trina raised her eyebrows as the woman turned to Sasha. "I usually give my patients one sucker, but you're a special child, so I'll give you an extra one." Sasha flashed a toothy grin and Trina sighed, she wasn't about to argue. Tori would do stuff like this all the time, spoiling Sasha with extra treats like any Aunt would, though she never imagined a doctor to do so.

"Thank you Miss Hannah!" Sasha took the suckers and put one in her pocket. "Mom always says one at a time, so I'll save the second one. She also says always to be polite."

"Yes. Now, speaking of your mother." Hannah folded her arms and Trina started to shrink under the woman's concerned gaze. "Trina, you and I need to look over some things, and then we need to have a talk. So, I'll have the nurse give you all the paperwork, as well as scheduling a follow appointment for Sasha, then she'll lead you two to my office. Okay?"

"Okay…"

After several minutes, Trina and Sasha made their way to Hannah's office. The woman's lab coat was over her chair and she busy typing something on her keyboard. When she saw the two, she waved them over. Trina sat down in a small chair beside her and Sasha climbed onto a nearby couch. "So what did you have to show me, Hannah?"

The computer screen was displaying the Medicaid website. "I'd like you to sign in if you have an account." Everything was digital these days, so of course she had an account, since she had to apply online. "Every year you need to submit a new application, if they turned you down when you've already been on it, then you may have made a change somewhere. Where was that change?"

"Okay." She signed in, typing swiftly and letting her eyes wander around the room for a moment. Her lips curled up at a photo of the woman's family. Looking back at the screen, Hannah leaned forward and moved a pen along the edge of a computer. Trina scrolled down until they got to the household income, where the doctor jerked back in surprise. She put down Tori's and Ben's income because she was living with them.

"That would be a lot of money for you to have to go to a free clinic."

"Yeah, I um-I thought when I filled this out that I was supposed to put my sister's and brother-in-law's income down."

Hannah shook her head. "No." Her heart sank and she slowly leaned back, studying the screen for an extended moment. "When it asks for household it is only asking for you and your dependents. Basically it would be asking for the income made by you and by Jesse. They've made the law more stringent now to the point that if you make a certain amount of money, you will be turned down. Why would you put your sister's income down?"

"Because almost a year ago, I moved in with her and her husband…"

"Okay. You're going to have to resend your application, but unfortunately even that's going to take some time." Hannah looked to Sasha with a frown. "I don't want you and Sasha to have to go to another free clinic though, especially since she seems to get sick every time you go to one. I'm not going to charge you for today, but as far as payment goes…"

"I don't understand something." Trina turned back to Hannah and crossed her arms. Her eyelids closed halfway and a small wrinkle formed between her brows. "You and your sisters-in-law have been too nice to me. From you saying you're not charging for my appointment today, to Abigail and her husband saying that they could offer me a discount on homes for rent. Why? You don't even know me, aside from me taking piano lessons from Taylor." Hannah straightened herself and slowly nodded as Trina glanced skeptically at the computer. "I know you care about your patients, but I've never met a doctor that would openly sit down with the parent of one and go over insurance information."

"Some do, but you're right. Taylor didn't say much, but it's in what she said…"

"Huh?"

Just then, her husband walked in with the two toddlers. "Hannah, I'm here with your lunch." Trina looked over and froze. Seeing the man, Marshall, in person was a lot different than seeing him in a photograph.

His nose was hooked just like Jesse's, he had the same thick jawline and high cheekbones, the same thin lips and indent in his chin. The only thing different was, instead of scraggly long hair, he had short curly hair and a thin beard running along his jawline and chin. Even Marshall's eyes were eerily similar to Jesse's. "I picked the kids up from daycare."

Trina's heart pounded in her chest as Hannah walked over and took the sub sandwich from him. "Thanks honey." Her eyes drifted to the doctor's lab coat where now she could see the name badge.

_Dr. Hannah Klein. _

Her eyes widened tremendously just as Sasha hopped off and ran over to Emily, suddenly attentive to the people in the room. _Hannah Klein?_ If this woman had that name, then clearly her husband was that mysterious brother of Jesse's.

"N-Now I get it…" Hannah and Marshall looked towards her with subtle smiles. Marshall pushed his hands into his pockets and raised his eyebrows. "You're Sasha's Uncle and Aunt. Jesse's…_brother_." Sasha paused and looked over her shoulder for a long minute before looking up to the two people in the room. Her jaw fell. "Why didn't you just come out and say it?"

"We didn't want to say anything right away," Hannah answered, "Even Taylor wasn't sure. Just…We didn't want to frighten you. I know Linda has been wanting to hear from you. Taylor and Abigail both liked you, haven't said much of what you talked about with her, but they want you to give the family a chance.

"I-I don't know-"

"Abigail says you're scared. Don't be." Marshall rubbed his chin and started to smile. "Mom won't bite, and neither will my siblings. We'd love to meet you more officially, but that's your choice." Trina took a slow step forward, her heart was racing and her body was heating up. She couldn't think of anything she could do or say in this moment to relieve the shock.

She was slowly piecing everything together. With Abigail being adopted, Taylor being Henry's daughter, but now the question remained not only why Marshall was present, but why was his name _Klein?_ "I-I-Marshall, right?"

"Yes."

"Klein?"

"This really isn't the place to discuss this, but I guess since we don't know if you'll call mom up or not…" She closed her eyes and took a slow breath. "For about sixteen years I lived with the guy I thought was my dad. A paternity test proved otherwise-since I didn't look or act anything like him-among a few other things. He pretty much threw me out when he realized I wasn't his dad, told me to get lost and look for Ralph-my real dad…"

If Jesse were hearing this now, she was certain he'd be flipping out. All this time, it had been thought that his brother was someone else's son, but he wasn't? "Oh my…" Her hand moved over her mouth and tears stung her eyes.

"I found my birth mom through that guy. Mom told me all about Jesse, and my father-and since she was married to her third husband at the time-I didn't feel like changing my name to Anderson. I didn't see why I should, but I changed it to Klein because of how Mom talked about my older brother, and because I didn't want to keep the name of the guy that didn't care about me."

She stammered to regain herself, struggling with all this news to comprehend. "How did you-How did you even know that I-that Sasha…" She felt her stomach sinking down as she remembered her slipping up with Taylor by saying her real name. Then she followed up with Sasha. Not to mention this family wanted to meet her, so obviously they'd know who she and Sasha were. The nail in the coffin was her saying Jesse's name during the conversation with Taylor.

"Taylor suspected it and when you told her you wanted to see her brother in law because he rented homes-Abigail went into investigation. I don't know if you'll call mom or not, but we really do want to get to know you and Sasha, and maybe you'll be a part of the family."

"Y-You think you guys-or even Linda would accept me, accept my daughter, even though Jesse's…"

Hannah put her hands to her hips and raised an eyebrow. "Well you definitely don't know until you try, Trina. She isn't a difficult woman to get to know. The fact that Jesse clearly cared for you is something you've got going for you regardless, and also, you cared about him."

"Mom _is_ getting older, and then there's grandma-"

"Your grandmother?" Trina arched an eyebrow and parted her lips. She was amazed to hear that Linda might have a mom still alive. "Linda's mother?"

"Yes, she's eighty-nine now. Apparently Jesse was the woman's favorite because he was the firstborn, so…there is that. The ball's in your court, still we hope to hear from you."

"I-I'll think about it." She was still processing. From what she'd seen so far, this family was huge. If they truly accepted her and Sasha, then it would mean giving Sasha a real family. She'd do more than think about it, seeing how the siblings were, she really did want to meet Linda, and maybe, this was the confidence boost she'd been looking for. She would, however, be making that call.

* * *

Gotta say, Jesse's infamous and mysterious brother comes not without surprises, huh? Well what are your thoughts.


	16. The Phone Call

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 16 (The Phone Call)

Trina sat on her couch at home while her daughter cuddled up beside her. The young child was eager to see her family, but just as surprised and confused as Trina to learn that the doctor, the realtor and his wife, as well as the piano teacher were all her father's siblings. Trina was looking forward to meeting them all again, but this time, knowing who they are.

As she gazed down at the phone she was clutching, a heaviness descended upon her. She remembered everything the trio told her, but she was still terrified and nervous. "Are you going to call grandma, momma?" Her heart skipped a beat and she looked to Sasha with a growing smile. "Uncle Marshall says she'll love us, right? Can I call him Uncle? Can I call Grandma, grandma?"

_'Grandma'_

There was something about the way her daughter said that word that sent pleasant, warm chills down her spine. Trina moved pat the back of Sasha's head and the girl leaned forward, hugging her. "Yes, they are your uncles, aunts, grandparents. If you want to call them that, you may."

"Will they let me? Can I ask them?"

"Of course, sweetie." She took a deep calming breath and hit the call button for Linda's number. One thing she was nervous about was that thus far all the siblings considered her Jesse's wife though she never was, so what would Linda think? A part of her liked it though, she enjoyed thinking she had a mother, father, sisters, and brother-in-law.

The phone rang a couple times, with each ring filling Trina with more anxiety. Finally, a woman's voice answered, and this time it was not the answering machine. "Hello? Who's calling?" Trina was paralyzed, and holding the phone in her lap. It was on speaker, since she was going to let Sasha talk some. The young girl studied the phone nervously, then looked back up to her mom. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

"H-Hi!" Sasha exclaimed. Trina jerked her head back and moved her hand to her chest as Sasha took the phone from her. "Momma's frozen right now. Are you my papa's mom? Can I call you grandma?" Trina raised an eyebrow at her daughter. When had she taught Sasha to be so direct? At the same time, she did say the girl could ask, but she was thinking more when they were all together and in one spot.

She heard a gasp and the woman sounded to be tearing up. "Of course you may. What do you mean your mom's frozen?" Trina cleared her throat and Sasha looked up. She had a stunningly bright smile and a cheerful gaze.

"Oh! I think Mom's okay now!" Sasha handed her the phone and Trina moved it to her ear.

"Sorry about that, I've just been a little nervous. I've never thought I'd be talking to Jesse's mom. Or…his siblings, for that matter." Linda laughed and Trina's eyebrows arched up.

"They told me they saw you. I didn't know they didn't tell you who they were. How did the find you?"

"I think that was on me. I wanted to find a hobby and saw Taylor's ad for piano lessons. She told me her brother-in-law was a realtor and it snowballed from there." Now that she thought about it, she realized that for once _she_ hadn't been in control there. Her lips pressed together and a light hum drifted away. "Taylor got me to open up…she must have known who I was the minute I mentioned my name and Sasha's…"

"Taylor has always been intuitive. She gets that from her father-that's Henry, by the way. I hope she let you know she is my stepdaughter. Just like I adopted Abigail, I know Taylor and Abigail told me what you said about Jesse's history with his family. The only affair I had was the man that I thought was Marshall's father."

"Right-um I hope you don't take this the wrong way, I think the phone is an improper place to discuss this. In person would probably be better…How did Tori find you guys, anyway?"

"I agree. As for your sister? I guess she looked at records, I didn't make an effort to try and hide. I wanted Jesse to look for me as I looked for him, but it turns out he never left LA…" The woman sighed heavily. Trina moved her hand to her knee and frowned as she looked to Sasha, who was now watching her feet kick through the air. "What did he tell you about me, do you mind if I ask?"

"He said a _lot_ about his dad, his stepdad, but nothing much about you. There was nothing overly bad, really, just the affair. He was always afraid you'd hate him after the whole thing with his stepfather."

"Jesse took off pretty quick after that, I hardly had time to recover. By the time I did, he was gone and only left behind a note saying he was 'sorry' and wouldn't be back. I still have it, actually." The woman sniffled and exhaled. Trina could sense her struggling not to cry, a feeling she knew all too well.

"He was a good man. You would have been proud of him, I think. I think he always loved his mom, too. I can tell. My child would protect me, I see it in her eyes all the time-living back in LA she would do anything to make sure no one was coming around her momma-she got that from Jesse."

Linda sniffed once more. Though Trina could not see it, she could sense a smile on the woman's face. At least, she hoped that was the case. "I'm sorry, I get emotional thinking about him from time to time. Henry and the kids have heard so much about him over the years-Abigail and Marshall are the ones that fantasize about seeing him the most. I just…I wish I would have found him sooner."

"Did you know he had a daughter?"

"We didn't! That's the surprising thing, we didn't know until your sister contacted us. I couldn't believe it! A wife and daughter, and there were no records."

"Well, we were never legally married, but…" Her voice wavered for a second and the woman hummed confidently. Trina closed her eyes and lowered her voice to a calm whisper. "If Beck hadn't…" Tears lapped her eyelids and her voice started to choke up. "We might have married eventually-" Sasha gazed up at her, furrowing her brow with worry. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Look, can we please talk about this in person? I don't want to sound short, I just…It's difficult."

"Of course! Did your sister give us my home address?"

"Yes."

"And Trina, don't feel nervous or scared. Everything's okay, we're happy to see you and to see Sasha, okay? Just because Jesse's no longer with us doesn't make you any less family than you would be if he were here."

"Thank you. When can Sasha and I be there? I mean what time works for you? What day? I called you once the other day, but I was too nervous to leave a message. I'm sorry."

"I understand. I think we were alerted to that missed call, Henry and I were at a church meeting. He's a pastor." Trina couldn't help but to chuckle at that thought. Linda chuckled too, having a similar thought as hers. "You'd think after having been married to a criminal, and an abusive alcoholic, that church pastor would be the last man to be next. But he's the final man I'll marry, and the man that I love."

"It's great that you finally found some peace. Jesse would like knowing that."

"All right, I have my calendar. If you want to, you're only an hour's drive away, you could come by this afternoon if you'd like. For dinner? I could invite Taylor, Abigail and Marshall, unless that would be too overwhelming for you. I don't want to overwhelm you and Sasha."

"You know? Keeping it simple might be best at first. She was a little surprised when she found out her new pediatrician was her aunt."

"I understand. We have dinner at five. Is that a good time? Henry is making steaks, I can ask him to put another one on the grill for you and Sasha."

"That would be fine." She was tossing around whether or not she wanted to take Tori or even Derek, but the latter would probably be offensive to Linda at this point and the former would be too much. Tori likely wouldn't want to go right away, this was Sasha's big day, as well as hers. "Hope to see you soon."

"You have my number if you get lost, feel free to call for directions."

"I will, and thank you again." She looked to Sasha, who had gotten up and was now performing pirouettes in the center of the room. Her eyebrow arched up and her lips curved into a smile as her daughter practiced a dance routine. She said her farewells to Linda and hung up. Sasha turned to her and curtseyed. "That's beautiful, Sasha."

"Thanks momma, I want to show Grandma and Grandpa what I've been leaning at Miss Debbie's school. Do you think they'll like it?"

"I think they'll love it, dear." She didn't feel as nervous as she had been, probably because of the welcoming vibe that Linda had given off. "How is the gymnastics going?"

"I'm learning a little. Miss Debbie says I can't learn the big things yet because I'm still 'so young'." What really impressed Trina was seeing that the academy was really helping Sasha with her shyness. Already she played with other children, talked to adults without too much anxiety, and was the one that talked to her grandma first. Sasha walked over to her and climbed up into her lap smiling warmly while gazing up to her. She threw her arms around her mother, "I'm glad we get to see Papa's family. Do you think we'll see them often mama?"

"They want to be a part of your life, sweetie, so it's likely." She gazed into Sasha's eyes and tucked the child's bangs away from her loving gaze. This life she could do, this she could live. Seeing the love in her child's eyes, knowing that she was her daughter's hero through and through, and never having to live the fast paced life she had so long ago. "How often do I say I'm proud of you?"

"All the time, Momma."

"You know your dad would be too."

"I know. You say that too." Sasha rolled her eyes and grinned. Trina laughed as Sasha moved her head to her chest and tightened her hug. "Grandma and Grandpa, will they be proud of me too?"

"I'm sure they will be, sweetheart."

"When do we get to see them?"

"This afternoon, we're going over for dinner." Sasha gasped and lifted up her head. "I'd say be on your best behavior, but I know everyone's going to be a little excited…"

"I'll behave if you will, Mommy." Trina laughed once more and wiped a stray tear from her face. Sasha studied the tear and tilted her head. "Are you sad?"

"No baby, I'm very happy."

"I love you, momma."

"Mama loves you too." She hugged her daughter and kissed the top of her head. No matter how scared or anxious she was, she knew everything would be okay. For all her nerves, she could finally admit that maybe she and Sasha wouldn't be alone. "I only wish your daddy could be here too."

"But he is, right momma? Miss Debbie says that daddy is always going to be with us and watching over us. So he is here." Her heart swelled and she slowly nodded, approving of the teacher's words.

"That's right. He's with us, maybe not physically but, your teacher's right…so he'll be with us too when we go to meet his-_our_ family."

* * *

Seems like the phone call went well


	17. The Grandparents

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 17 (Grandparents)

That evening, Trina had parked alongside the address given to her. She looked in the rearview mirror at Sasha. The girl was pressed up against the window with her palms touching the glass as she gazed at the house. Her brown hair was in two braids over her clothed shoulders. She was wearing a yellow shirt with a blue flower on the front, and jeans. Her eager eyes remained frozen on the house as her hands slid down the window. "This is it, momma?"

"This is your grandma's home, baby." She held her breath and turned her nervous gaze onto the home. It was a simple one story house with a yellow brick exterior and a square roof that peaked in the center. The front end had a door in the middle of what looked to be a long rectangular wall, and two tall windows on either side that had cream curtains hanging inside. The door was sandy brown and with a small circular stained glass window at the top. This house was seated before a lush, green yard separated down the middle by a neatly paved sidewalk that met a stone mailbox. "I think maybe your great grandmother lives here too."

Sasha turned her head and scrunched up her nose. "Great granny?" Trina had to call to confirm she was taking the right road, and an older sounding woman answered first, which made her think that it was Linda's mother that answered.

"Yes, your grandmother's mom." A spark lit up in the young child's eyes and she looked back to the house with jovial laughter. The young girl must have thought herself to be the luckiest child alive. In this moment, that was all Trina could ask for, was her daughter's happiness.

"I get a grandma, grandpa and another grandma? What are we waiting for, Momma? Let's go!" Trina looked back to the front porch and turned up a smiled at the wooden rocking chair seated in front of the right window beside the door. "Are you nervous still, momma? Do you want to go back home and come back another day?"

"No sweetheart, we came all the way here, and I think we've both waited long enough." She shut off the engine and exited her car. Once outside, she inhaled the fresh, crisp air and paused, admiring how clean it was compared to the inner city.

Trina felt her daughter tug at her shirt and glanced down to see her concerned expression. "What are you stopping for?"

"No reason, I just like how clean this air is. Your grandparents live in a beautiful neighborhood sweetie." She could see her daughter playing out here on weekends and holidays, enjoying the security and peace, much different than where Tori lived. She never allowed Sasha to play outside in the cluttered Manhattan streets without her being at least three feet away. "All right, let's go. Stay close, honey."

"Okay, Momma." As Trina neared the front door, she had to wonder if the family met here on the holidays. Considering how it looked on the outside, it was questionable how many rooms there were inside. Then again, she was only seeing the front, not the sides or the back.

When she made it to the door, she was astonished to see someone already opening it. It was the lady from the picture at Taylor's house, only her blonde hair was a tad greyer now, but it was still cut short and curled behind her ears. "You must be Linda," Trina said with stunned enthusiasm. "Saw me coming?"

"My mother did, actually, she thought someone was parked outside the house. You must be Trina!" Linda had crow feet at the edges of her blue eyes, a small nose and broad smile with puffy red lips. Her cheeks were puffy and slightly wrinkled, and she had Jesse's familiar dimpled chin. Altogether the woman's pleasant appearance was comforting to her. She bent down and met Sasha's cheery gaze. "And you must be sweet little Sasha."

Sasha giggled and tapped her fingertips together at her waist, looking down to her feet bashfully. Trina tapped her on the shoulder and Sasha looked up, holding a smile. "Hi. Momma said I could ask if it was okay to call you grandma. You're my grandma? Papa's mama?"

"Yes sweetie-pie. You and your mom come on in, we have a lot to talk about!" Trina could smell the barbeque steaks cooking all the way out to where she was. The tantalizing aroma was enchanting. "I made brownies-" Linda paused and looked to Trina. "-Is that okay?" Trina chuckled softly and nodded, not wanting to deny her daughter the right to have treats made by her own grandmother.

"I suppose she can, just no more than two before dinner. You didn't make them with nuts, I hope? Sasha is allergic to nuts." Linda put her hand to her chest and shook her head.

"I'm allergic to peanuts myself, so I stay away from using them in my food." Trina lifted her eyebrows and followed the woman into the house.

"That's actually good to know. I was not sure where she got the allergy from. I can't eat shellfish, so I know she gets that allergy from me." Trina glanced around the front room and admired the high ceiling for a moment.

The living room to the left was very expansive and filled with sunlight. There was a blue sectional that hugged the adjacent wall, and a television in the left corner. In the right corner was an old piano while in between was a brown fireplace and a mantle above it with three framed photos. On the outer edges of the fireplace were two brown pottery vases with wheat straw and palm leaves shooting out.

There was a second living room separated by a bar with shelves under it that contained many photos. To Trina's right was a dining table sitting neatly on peach carpet. At the edge of the carpet, where it met the brown square tile that ran in an "L" shape from the door was a brick pillar. Towards the other end of this set of tiles was a door leading into what Trina assumed to be the master bedroom. So far, in all this open space, this was the first door she'd seen inside the home.

The house itself was rectangular in shape, with the greater length going towards the back door. She followed Linda into the second living room, where the kitchen bordered on the left with a long 'L' shaped counter.

A bald headed man with a plaid shirt and grey moustache was in the cooking area with the steaks. At the brown, oval shaped kitchen table was an older couple. A man with a brown fedora, white t-shirt and khaki shorts, he had a straight face with small lips and a mild sagging jowl. His eyebrows were bushy and white, and they seemed to frame the top of his gentle, kindred blue eyes.

Beside this man was a rotund woman wearing a red dress with red polka dots. She had wispy white, curly hair, a small, but slender nose and a laughing smile.

"Look who made it," Linda announced. Trina did feel a sudden nervousness due to wishing to have asked for one of the siblings to be here. It felt awkward to be the youngest here, but she was able to deal.

"Hi there," Trina waved awkwardly and looked to Sasha with amazement, the young girl didn't appear nervous at all. Linda's husband, Henry, looked up from the grill and waved a spatula in the air.

"Good to meet you. I'd come shake your hand, but I'm all covered in grease."

The woman at the table reached over to the man's wrist, "Maurice. Trina's here."

"Who?" Maurice put his hand to his ear, leaning towards her. The woman rolled her eyes and spoke louder.

"I said Trina's made it here."

"Who put the stool where, Helen?" The man pulled away and laughed as his wife shook her head. He turned his eyes towards Trina and lifted a cane up from his knee. "Hi Trina, and Sasha, how are you?" Trina couldn't help but to laugh at the apparent joke. "You guys want to hear a story."

Helen smacked his elbow, "They don't want to hear a story of yours yet, you old coot."

Upon hearing 'story', Sasha wasted no time running over to the elderly couple, "I wanna hear a story!" Maurice laughed as Sasha instinctively climbed up onto his knee. Helen admired her knew great-grandchild with a look in her eyes that surprised Trina. These people barely even met Sasha, and already they loved her like family?

Linda crossed her arms and leaned into her shoulder, "As you get older, you have a tendency to treat family like you've known them all your life, even if you just met them." Linda snapped her fingers at Henry. "Henry, would you be a dear and give Sasha one of the brownies I made?" The man instantly moved for the tray of brownies sitting by the sink and grabbed a paper towel. "Thank you"

"I didn't know your father was still alive."

"He's 91, was a World War Two veteran and loves telling his wartime stories to his great grandchildren. I don't think he's going to pass on anytime soon." Trina moved her hands to her hips, tucking her thumbs into her belt and tapping her fingers on her thighs.

"War stories? At least these are ones that Sasha can hear about…"

"Very true." Linda turned around and motioned for Trina. "Come with me, I think we should probably talk." Remembering that there was much she wanted to talk about with this woman, she followed her to the nearby couch.

"Right…" The second living room was much smaller, with the brown couch facing the door, and two brown recliners with their backs to the kitchen counter and their fronts facing the television. The television was beside an entryway that led into another section of the house, likely where all the bedrooms were. "So, about your son. First, can I say I'm _not_ asking for money?" Linda chuckled and pat her knee.

"Trina dear, _we _reached out to _you_. Don't worry so much, I know you're not after money or anything like that-we genuinely want you and Sasha to be a part of this family."

"Yeah I don't know-" She rubbed her forehead and exhaled softly. "I think I'm just nervous is all. It's difficult for me to trust people sometimes, and when I think Jesse's family trying to reach out to _me_…all I know is to you guys it should seem like I'd just be some woman he slept with…"

Linda's lips stretched into a thin line as she reclined her head for a second. The woman exhaled and closed her eyes. "I think it's more that there is the connection. You met a gang member, you two fell in love, and you became the mother of his child. In a lot of the same way, you and I are alike. When I met Ralph, he was actually a part of the Italian mob. He worked on managing the routes and was actually just released from federal prison when I met him." Trina's eyebrow rose as Linda crossed her arms and leaned backwards. The Italian Mafia in New York was one of the last known gangs left that was still fighting with the United States and President Bannister. Nobody knew who the leader was at the time. "I thought he wasn't a part of it any longer. The drugs were making him paranoid, and when I had a one night stand with another man-I did so after he cheated on me with another woman-I had been pregnant. I thought Marshall was the other man's baby, and I was afraid Ralph would kill him, so I gave Marshall away. As it turns out, it's like he told you, he was Ralph's son…but the man had already left me, which I was grateful for."

"Grateful?"

"He was crazy. Not to say my second husband wasn't either."

"Jesse was always afraid you hated him after he did what he did to that guy."

"To the contrary, I was upset that Jesse had done it, but I was never angry. I understood he was protecting his mother." Linda shut her eyes and moved her hand to her forehead, rubbing her forefinger on the space between her eyes. "By the time I recovered, Jesse was gone. My husband was positioned like a suicide, so it was called as such."

"You mean-you never said that your son did it?"

"I couldn't turn my own son into a killer. Wherever he was, I just wanted him to be _safe_. I didn't know he found his father, I didn't know he was a part of any gang for the longest time. Eventually I did get a letter from Ralph saying he had our son with him-this was back in 2008. He said if I tried to make contact with Jesse, he'd kill me-and my new family-and so I didn't look for the longest time. Several years ago though, we did look him up in LA, but we found Jesse's grave-I was distraught-"

"As any mom would be, I imagine."

Linda took a deep breath and lifted her eyelids. Her soft expression fell onto Sasha at the table, and her lips curved upwards. "Imagine our shock when we received a call from 'Agent Victoria Brown'. Trina chuckled as the woman moved her hand to her chest. "At first, I didn't know what to think."

"How did Tori open?"

"I believe it was 'Hi, I'm Agent Tori Brown, and I wanted to let you know your son Jesse has a daughter with my sister, Trina'."

"Yeah, she's direct like that…" Trina's eyes dipped towards the floor and her heart lifted up as she listened to her daughter's excited laughter. "Jesse and I, we loved each other. He wanted out of the life, but even more-so he wanted me out of the life. This man-another gang leader-was hunting him and used me to get to him. He was murdered the very day after our…you know." Linda reached over and curled her bony fingers around Trina's hand. Her eyes held a gentle, reassuring look that was warming to Trina's heart. "You can imagine why I was so afraid you wouldn't think much of me."

"Well like it or not you're a part of this family now." She smiled back at the woman and answered with a silent nod. "We're more than happy to have you and Sasha here. Don't ever be afraid to talk to us, just because Jesse is not here doesn't mean we value you and Sasha any less. Let us get a chance to know you, and you us.

"I know it's very good that Sasha can have a bigger family, and I'm happy to actually be a part of that too, so…I hope this _is_ the start of a good relationship. You'll definitely hear more from me, I think, and maybe Sasha gets to see her grandparents growing up. As long as she's happy, I'm happy."

"Great." Linda leaned forward and hugged Trina, gently patting her back in the process. "Welcome the family, Trina."

* * *

Well, what do you think of the family?


	18. Much Needed Talk

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 18 (The Much Needed Talk)

Sasha adored the attention she was receiving from all her grandparents throughout dinner, and Trina herself was overjoyed to listen to all of Maurice's stories of the old days.

Sitting at the table, she watched her daughter leaning up against Helen. She was between Helen and Maurice, while Henry was at the head of the table and Linda had been sitting next to her. Sasha's plate still had some partially eaten vegetables on it. "Sasha, finish your food sweetie." Sasha looked up then to her plate.

"Okay, Momma."

Maurice nudged his granddaughter and winked, "When I was a child and my mother wanted me finishing my vegetables-I'd feed them to the dog and present the plate to mom." Sasha's eyebrows rose and Trina laughed.

"Don't give my daughter ideas-I might actually get a dog for her someday." Sasha's eyes lit up with joy and Maurice leaned back, folding his hands over his waist and grinning with pride. She looked over her shoulder to see Linda walking over with a pie in her hands. The aroma comforted her.

"My peach pie is done," Linda set the pie at the center of the table. She smiled at Sasha, who was quickly devouring the remains of her meal. "I'll have a nice big slice ready for you, Sasha dear." Trina heard her daughter squeak with excitement. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her right leg over her left. Her heart swelled as she continued watching the grandparents.

Four grandparents meant Sasha was going to be doubly spoiled, they had a freebie today.

"So Trina," Henry glanced over to her and she smiled back at him, "Will Hannah be Sasha's primary physician?"

"I'm thinking about it, but I was wondering if it's allowed that a physician can treat a relative."

"I'm sure it's not an issue. I heard from Abigail that you were also looking into rental properties?"

"Yeah, I still live with my sister. That's nice and all, but Tori just had a baby, she's starting a family and I'm sure she'll need to move on. That means Sasha and I won't be able to stay with her much longer." Henry rubbed his chin and nodded. Trina folded her arms across her chest and looked towards her daughter. She breathed in slowly and relaxed her shoulders. "Jesse would have loved to be here. To know you guys, and even his siblings…This is what he wanted for me-and if he'd known about Sasha-he would have fought tooth and nail for this."

"We would have loved to reach out to him, we tried but when Ralph sent that letter…I know Linda wanted to keep looking, but I didn't want her to take the risk of having that man come after her, after us." Henry's eyes dropped for a second and his hands closed into his palms. "If I had just kept looking, then maybe…"

She had to commend the man for doing what she thought was the right thing. Jesse wouldn't have wanted his mother to risk her entire family to find him, he wasn't the type. "When I think about the type of man that Jesse was." Trina reached over, patting Henry's wrist to reassure him. "He put other people before himself all the time. Whether it was me, or one of the others in the group, he was always thinking of someone else first. That being said, he would never have wanted his mom, or any of you, to lose their lives because of him. You did the right thing, and I know he'd agree."

Henry's lips curled up a bit and his eyes drifted to Sasha. "I suppose it was a good decision. Unfortunately we couldn't save him, but still to have his grandchild as well as his widow a part of this family, I know everyone is happy for that."

Linda sat down on the opposite side of Trina, "It's good to know my son grew up to be such a good man. You tell your sister we're thankful she reached out to us." Trina's heart skipped and she closed her eyes, chuckling to herself.

"We talked about the possibility, I didn't think she'd actually look. I told her it was probably impossible for her to find you, guess she took it as a challenge." Her eyelids opened halfway and her mouth curved up an inch. "Then again, it could be she just cared enough that she wanted to give us that family. My parents are both deceased, so Tori's the only family Sasha and I have left on my side. I never imagined Jesse to have such a big family, though…"

"We're glad to have you two. I know Marshall, Abigail and Taylor are excited as well. They didn't tell me exactly how they found you." Linda's eyebrow arched up and Trina chuckled. She still wasn't sure how to look at the fact that the siblings basically just passed her around, but there was a spark of hope that they'd be able to spend some time together on a more official note.

"I ended up finding _them_ with that piano ad in the newspaper."

"Oh! That's right, I think you might have mentioned that."

"Yeah, and then I was talking to Taylor about wanting to find a family home. She told me her brother in law was a realtor, so I thought I'd give him a look and asked for his information." Linda's eyes lit up with amusement and Trina bowed her head, trying to fight back the increasing grin on her face. "Years ago I might have picked up on all these signs, I think I was just being a mom and trying to find a way to give Sasha a good life-I wasn't looking around for the signs that said 'these are Jesse's siblings'."

"Right, that's understandable."

"It's funny, I just kept going ahead to the next. I wouldn't have seen Abigail, or even Hannah if I didn't give the okay. Hannah even asked Abigail and John to ask if I'd be willing to make an appointment. If I said no, I wouldn't have met her and Marshall. They all knew who I was, though."

"Makes sense," Henry remarked, "Taylor did say a bell or something went off when she heard you say your name was 'Trina'. Then you showed her a picture of Sasha, so…all of them knew your sister contacted Linda-they all knew your name as well as Sasha's."

"Somewhere up there, Jesse's laughing at me for missing that connection." She folded her hands on the table and shook her head as the elder couple snickered. "I didn't even _suspect_ the phone call Tori had. I've been living so comfortably for so long that I'm not as suspicious of everything like I used to be…Still don't let anyone around me or my daughter, but aside from that."

"I can understand why you wouldn't be so quick to trust others, I was that way myself for the longest time." Linda closed her eyes and lifted her hand, tucking her hair back some. She let out a heavy sigh and shook her head. "It's hard not to want to stay away from anyone that isn't family when you've been through so much, and outside sources really can devastate. Just ask Henry, I barely even let him look at me at first without suspecting him of something."

"It's true!" Henry's eyes widened and he moved his hand to his chest, taking a deep breath. "It took a long time for her to even consider my offer to take her out." Trina leaned forward over her forearms and smiled as the couple met the other's tender gaze. "I gave her a little time, she finally came around." He smirked teasingly and Linda rolled her eyes and reached over, squeezing his hand lovingly.

"Time does heal everything," Trina sat upright and watched her daughter, still distracted by her great grandparents and the slice of pie in front of her. "As for outside influences in the family, yeah…I should still hate Beck for taking Jesse away from me, away from us, but I don't. It's been so long now that I can't spend my time hating a man that's long gone. I'd give everything to change what happened, though. I feel like, something would have happened anyway-everyone was gunning for us. The only reason Sasha and I are alive-_literally_ the only reason _I'm_ alive-is because of my sister."

"I'm glad you two are safe." Linda rolled her head to the side and furrowed her brow. "Oh! I just remembered something! Abigail called just before you arrived." Trina's eyebrows rose and Linda moved over to the counter, rummaging through some papers. "I wrote it down…" After a minute, she moved a sheet of paper to the side. "Okay, she wanted you to call her." Linda cleared her throat and returned to the table. "She, Taylor and Marshall want to spend some time getting to know you, and they're all getting together next Saturday at Pelham Bay Park, probably going to play some golf or tennis-they were curious if you'd like to spend some time with them."

"I'd be happy to, actually. I'll give them a call."

"Great."

"Tori might actually be happy Sasha and I are getting out of the house more." She laughed while Linda and Henry nodded. "You know, Sasha has been taking dance and gym lessons. She's doing extremely well."

"Let us know if she has any recitals, we'll be sure to be there."

"I will. She's been enjoying the gymnastics side, so who knows, maybe she'll want to go that path when she gets older. I won't say no if she wants to be a gymnast. I was when I was a young girl. I ended up learning martial arts later in life."

"It sounds like you had a good childhood growing up."

"I did. I want to give Sasha that same opportunity."

"Then…Can I ask why you joined a gang? If my son was the leader, that would have meant you joined it." Trina hesitated for a second, and pressed her lips tightly against one another. She hadn't often thought of the why for so long. To be fair, life might have been much different for her if she hadn't been with the Black Knights, but at the same time, when she lost Sinjin, it was that last night that could have been her last.

"Jesse…Saved me, I guess." She watched the mom's smile grow and felt a shift of pride for her. Trina was glad she had the opportunity to tell this woman just how good of a man her son had been, and how much Jesse's father didn't influence him. "My um…My boyfriend before him was just murdered, the killer got off with nothing because his dad was a popular judge."

"Oh sweetie." Linda reached for her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to pry that far-"

"It's okay." She watched as Helen led Sasha to the couch, the woman grabbed an old album of hers and was beginning to tell the girl stories of her own childhood. She appreciated this, as it gave Trina some more time to talk with Linda. "That was a very long time ago…"

It truly felt good to get everything off her chest, and with someone who did understand her situation. "My mother at the time was having an affair and Dad was always busy with work, so it _seemed_ like they didn't care. My sister was friends with that man-Beck-and Beck wasn't exactly the greatest of influences on his own friends, so they didn't show a lot of concern for the fact that I'd just lost my boyfriend. Jade and Cat, they did-Tori's main friends-but they're not important in this…" She didn't care about the friends, they didn't hold any impact in her life, except for Beck. For obvious reasons-despite his never truly gunning for her. Even to this day, all the hatred the gangs had for Jesse was perplexing.

"What is important is I didn't think there was much left for me. I…wanted to die…" Her body grew tense and her eyes began to mist over as her chest started to ache. "I would have let that rainstorm give me pneumonia. I don't know." She brushed her forehead with her fingers and exhaled slowly. Back then, just meeting Jesse was a chance moment. "If Jesse hadn't been at that school at the right time, I would not be here. So he is the reason I joined the gang, because he gave me comfort. He didn't want me to join, he was adamantly against it, but I let him know I wasn't going anywhere else-I had nowhere to go."

As her voice broke, Linda leaned over, wrapping her arms around Trina and gave her a gentle pat on the back. It was then she broke, letting herself cry, though in silence. It had been a long time since she cried over herself, and this was the first time-aside from Tori-that she had someone she could open herself up to in such a way.

She cleared away her throat and pulled back. Linda immediately handed her a tissue, letting her wipe away her tears. "Anyway. Jesse…We didn't start to date for months after that, he'd just lost his girlfriend, so I guess we just had that common ground."

Linda's eyebrows meshed together and her lips fell into a small frown.

"That woman he was with is a big part of the reason that his dad didn't influence him negatively. She was murdered as a result of a hit…but she was the one to keep him on the good path. If it wasn't for her, I don't even know what Jesse would be like. He always said his dad wanted him to be this big vile person that had nothing but hate for everything else in the world."

"Wow."

"Jesse did say once, if his father had been alive at the time his girlfriend was killed, he would have suspected his own dad to be behind the hit. Hearing about the letter the man sent you-it's not a far cry. With a dad like that influencing someone, I can only imagine…"

"Then it's a damn good thing Ralph is gone," Henry remarked. Linda looked up at him with a sad smile and nodded as the man crossed his arms. "Because of that, we can all get on with our lives."

"Agreed."

They heard Sasha call out to them and looked to see the girl waving. "Momma, I want show grandma and grandpa what I've been learning!" Trina chuckled as the grandparents rose up and walked into the living room. She followed soon after, feeling a tremendous weight finally released from her shoulders.

* * *

A lot is out of the system now.


	19. Back to the Job

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 19 (Back to the Job)

The following day, Trina hardly had time to get behind the bar before she heard Casey call her out. "How'd the visit with the new family go?" Trina flinched and looked over with a nervous smile as her friend returned a sly smirk and half-lidded eyes. "You still haven't told me about them. I'm your best friend, and you didn't tell me anything. I demand details."

"They were nice." She moved shyly behind the bar. Casey's eyebrows moved up and her hands flew into the air.

"'Nice'? That's what you're going with? They were _nice_? Oh come on, you got to have more than that." Casey leaned over the bar and met Trina's gaze. "This isn't a new boyfriend we're talking about, this is an entire family. An entire family isn't just 'nice'."

"Casey don't push her too much," Derek laughed from behind and approached his sister. Trina didn't see him in the restaurant. "I'm sure she'll tell us all about them when she wants." She smirked back at Casey, who bowed her head in her annoyance.

Trina started to prep the bar for opening, listening with amusement as the two siblings began to bicker with one another. After a few minutes, she decided not to torture her friends any further. "They were great people, really." She turned to Derek and Casey with a smile and leaned sideways against the bar. "I can say I'm glad to be a part of their family."

"Jesse would be happy for you," Casey surmised. The woman stood upright and folded her work apron over her waist. "I'm glad you're happy. Or, happier, for that matter. Will you continue to be a part of their family?"

"Yes. They are Sasha's family too and I would never want to keep her from being able to see them." Trina's gaze drifted to the side and she furrowed her brow in contemplation. "I never thought about what would happen if all of this actually happened for me. It gives me some hope. Is it really okay for all of this to happen for me? You know? I'm not someone that should be this…happy."

As Casey and Derek admired her, both happy for her, she felt her cheeks begin to heat up. "Maybe you're finally seeing that it isn't really just you and Sasha against the world-or that it doesn't have to be. You can rely on other people, Trina, I think you know that."

"Yeah…"

"Anyway." Casey smacked the surface of the bar and straightened herself upright. "Busy day today! We've got a couple reservations and a kid's birthday party at three. Prepare yourself for a long day."

W` "I'm always ready for a storm," Trina laughed. "Bring on the customers."

"Great. Where's Sasha at today, by the way?"

"Hannah offered to look after her." Casey smirked knowingly. Trina scratched at her collarbone and looked to the entrance of the restaurant. "So when Sasha's not at preschool or Debbie's class, she'll be with Hannah and her cousins." It was the first real time she felt this much joy in Sasha staying with family. Granted it was always great for her to stay with Tori and Ben, but what was a young girl to do without anyone her age to play with?

The entrance bell to the door chimed and Casey turned around, "Our first customer of the day. Time to get to work." Casey walked off and Derek wagged his eyebrows at Trina before waving.

"And with that, I need to be getting to my own job. Good luck today, Trina."

"Bye Derek." As he walked off, she leaned on her elbow against the bar, watching his strong gait. Her eyes drifted to her fingers while she absently tapped the bar. Recalling the conversation with Linda, she wondered if it was possible to really bounce back the way Linda had. She wanted a family like Linda had.

She and Linda discussed the concept of dating again when they had some real time alone, and Linda assured her that she should try to date again when she felt ready. That being said, the family didn't want to make Trina feel like she couldn't date and find someone who made her happy because they were Jesse's family, it was understood she would always be a part of their lives and vice versa.

Trina glanced back to the door, studying the customers entering. It was an older man with an oddly familiar younger man beside him. Upon closer inspection, she saw the younger man was the man she'd run into on the day she took Sasha to the dance and gym academy for the first time.

Arcing her eyebrows up, she turned away and chose to ignore the person, who likely didn't realize she was there. The older man he was with could possibly be his father for all she knew.

He was tall, broad shouldered and with a slight hump. His right hand embraced a silver eagle atop a long black cane. The outfit he wore was a black suit with a light blue dress shirt and dark tie. His face was narrow, his jaw strong and chin with a cleft. His eyes were shielded by black shades resting on a long narrow nose.

His eyebrows were long and pointed, and along his chin and jawline was a stubbly grey goatee matching the silver moustache. His dark silver hair was in a long curly ponytail going over his left shoulder.

Casey led the two to a booth and handed them their menus. "Can I get you anything to drink while you're looking over the menus?"

"I will have some water," The man replied. "Hector here takes the iced tea." The other man nodded and Casey wrote down the order. Trina straightened her back and sighed as the elder looked up at her. His ashen features shifted as he flashed a subtle smile before looking back to his menu.

More customers entered, and among them Trina recognized the standard morning drinkers. Three people sat down at the bar, one ordered a shot of whiskey. She grabbed a shot glass and started to pour the drink. She popped off the cap of a beer ordered by the second patron, then mixed together some rum and orange juice for the third regular.

"Thanks Sherry," one of the patrons lifted his bottle and took a sip. She acknowledged him with a nod and looked over towards the two men at the booth. She felt like she was being watched, but at the same time, she scolded herself for bothering with paranoia.

"You're welcome." She set a folded napkin down before the customer and exhaled slowly. "I'll have your second beer ready for you when that one's done."

"I'm only drinking one this morning, actually. The wife and I are making up." Trina smiled pleasantly and applauded him.

"That's good to hear. She's got you cutting back on the drinking, I presume?"

"Slowly but surely, Miss Sherry. Slowly but surely." The man took another sip and set the beer down on the napkin. "Actually, I think I'd like some breakfast."

"Okay." She grabbed a menu and set it down before him. "Please choose anything from the breakfast menu." The waiters were making their way into the restaurant, prepping up for work so Casey could return to the manager's station. "I'll let the cooks know." The man rubbed his chin and studied the menu carefully.

The patron with the rum smiled at her and took a sip of his drink, "You are one of the nicer bartenders around here if I may be so outspoken." She laughed as the man set his drink down. "You make us alcoholics feel better about ourselves."

"Right. Well I appreciate the compliment"

"Yes, why do you spend so much time with us drunks? A beautiful lady like yourself should be spending her days with her husband." Trina put her hand to her chest and shook her head.

"Flattered, but I'm not married, and I _still_ have to cut you off if you get too drunk." The man laughed and waved his hand in the air.

"I'm serious, and shocked you're not married. You're telling me you haven't got a man wrapped around that finger of yours?"

"Nope." She took the empty shot glass from the third patron and replaced it with another as requested. "I just haven't found the right person."

"That's too bad." He finished off his rum and handed the glass to her. "I'll have another please…" She gladly filled his order. Her eyes drifted to the man with the menu, his eyes were still studying the items intently.

"The house pancakes sound good right now," The man stated, "Also…maybe some coffee. Whenever I finish this beer, I'll want a drink."

"Coffee. Great choice, I'll put some on the pot for you."

"Thank you." Trina moved to the window that opened into the kitchen where the chefs were prepping food. One cook walked over and she gave him the order.

All this time she could still feel someone's eyes on her, unsettling her. She grasped the edge of the bar and tightened her arms, leaning forward slightly as she studied the customers at the tables. The restaurant was packed by now.

The older man was eating a salad and the familiar man was trying some of the shrimp appetizer. The elder had moved his curly ponytail behind his back and away from his food, which was a good idea in hindsight.

"Sherry, I've finished my rum," The patron asked. Trina turned around and smiled kindly as the man held up his glass, studying it.

"Would you like another?"

"Actually I think I'll just have some milk…"

"Okay." This customer was in his early fifties and had a grey clipped hair cut with a v shaped hairline. His eyebrows were bushy and he had a grey beard. "It's been six years and I'm still an alcoholic-I meant to quit years ago. Thought moving up here would solve all that."

"It is unfortunate, but our problems always follow us wherever we go." She took the glass while the man laughed.

"That is true. At least I have my family. Though I do wish my son would get up off his ass. He's got a dead end job and spends all his free time playing video games." The man lifted his finger and smirked. "He needs a woman like you to get him back into shape. Maybe I could introduce you two."

Trina washed out the glass and filled a new glass with fresh water. "Ah, no I don't think I'd be able to do that for anyone. Besides, if I ever did date again, there are certain standards." Not to mention, she did feel some attraction towards the one guy that had been patiently waiting for her to start dating again. "Besides, my friend's been asking me out now for some time, I'd rather talk to him before I date someone else, it just wouldn't be fair."

"That's understandable. I didn't mean to pry."

"No worries. Why is your son stuck on games?"

"He's trying to become a video game designer, so maybe there is a future, but he's not working so hard at college and he's almost thirty." Trina winced as the man sipped on his water. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. It is partially my fault."

"What's your son's name?"

"Jim. Jimmy DeSanta, we used to live close to LA, but moved up here once the gang activity down there started to swell up. Can't say the family took the move well, but it was for the best."

"Ah, LA. Yeah, I used to live there myself, closer to the Hollywood area." The man took another drink of his water and nodded slowly.

"Yeah, we were in what they consider the 'old Hollywood'." LA used to be a much larger city, but actually split in two over a disagreement in City Hall nearly a century ago. "Gang activity started getting worse in LA around 2013, 2014. We started packing up when a family friend was…you know…"

She frowned and reached over, patting the man's shoulder. "I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're better off here in New York."

"Yeah. Right." He scoffed briefly and closed his eyes. "Up here, the biggest gang in the country is the only one the President and government haven't taken out-the Mafia. Can't find the leader, so they can't take them down, which means everyone here is still terrified of gang violence…I think we would have been better off had we stayed back in California."

"Maybe. Who knows."

"Thanks for listening to my nonsense, Sherry." The man pulled out his wallet and reached for his money. "How much do I owe you?"

"Go ahead, it's on the house." She reached for her own wallet, knowing she'd have to pick up the tab. As with any bartender who allowed a drink, they paid for it. "Maybe I'll meet your son, I don't know what it could hurt, but I'd like to talk to Derek first." She didn't like the idea of blind dates, but she did think maybe it would be a good idea to try and see what happened.

"Derek?"

"My friend that's been asking me out. I don't want to date someone else if he's still interested." She did want to be comfortable with dating, especially at this point in her life. There were several things she would need to know about someone else but also about herself and what she expected. "You're setting me up with your son and I don't want to be the type of shallow woman that dates when someone else has been interested…"

"All right. I won't be offended if you don't."

"Sure…"

* * *

Just another day on the job with strange men, recovering alcoholics, and bartending.


	20. Life Goes On

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 20 (Life Goes On)

"One of the regular customers just set me up with his son," Trina announced after the end of the workday. Casey, Derek and Tori were all there as she closed up the bar. Tori often came by when her shift was over. She was seated on the stool beside Derek and sipping on her first martini since her baby was born.

"So you're going to try and date again?" A smile broadened at Tori's lips and an eagerness shone in her eyes. Derek chuckled and Casey shook her head. Trina still wasn't sure.

"I don't know. Part of me is terrified of the concept." She tossed the cleaning rag to the side and looked down at the now clean bar, frowning at her shadow. "Then I know that whenever I do decide-I want a man that I know will be a husband and a father."

"You've got the okay from the new family?" Derek inquired. His hands were folded over one another on the bar and his back was upright in a straight position. His eyebrows hung in the air and his posture was very relaxed.

"They all say that it would still be a good idea to date, and Sasha needs a father." The family didn't want her to feel like she couldn't be with someone else, so they would support her so long as they could.

"What you need isn't someone that's going to just be a father figure for Sasha, you need someone that's going to make you happy." Casey nodded as Derek pulled his hands away from the bar. "Regardless you're not going to find that person right away, I'm sure. I say go for it, date around and get a feel for it. You haven't dated in a long time, right?"

"She hasn't seen anyone since Jesse," Casey replied, "And that was five years ago." Trina furrowed her brow and tugged the corner of her lip back into her cheek.

"Technically…" She crossed her arms and glanced to Derek, confused that he seemed okay with her trying out the whole dating thing. While her main focus was for her daughter to be happy, everyone else was right, she deserved to be as well.

"Everything all right?" Derek asked.

"I'm just wondering. You've been the one asking me out and I keep turning you down, now someone's setting me up with their son and you're okay with it?" Derek exhaled and lifted his shoulders.

"Not really, but I'm not going to get upset about it. You need some time to figure out what it is you want for yourself and for Sasha. Find someone that can support you. You also need to be able to experiment around. Besides." Derek swept his hand through his hair and flashed a coy smirk. "You know where to find me if you ever give me a chance. But before that happens, you should definitely try dating around and seeing what it is you're looking for in a man."

Casey looked over to her brother with surprise. Trina's heart skipped a beat and she slowly looked towards her friend. "That's a surprise," Casey muttered, "Back when we were teens, Derek was not this…I don't know, patient? Still a little cocky and overconfident, but…yeah."

Trina leaned forward on the bar and pushed her hands through her hair. "I'm not sure. I think I'll just see what this guy's like…What's the worst that can happen?"

"Oh he could be an asshole," Tori suggested while sipping on her martini. "But then, cocky assholes might be attractive for you, Tri." Trina shot her a glare and Tori laughed.

"Jesse was _not_ a cocky asshole."

"And there it is," Derek grabbed some fruit from nearby and took a bite of it. Trina raised an eyebrow and the girls looked at him with equal confusion. "My philosophy is, I don't want to be the first guy you date after losing Jesse. I don't want to be the guy you compare to someone like that. Jesse was a big man, there's _nobody_ that could ever fill his shoes or replace him-you'll need some time to see that." Trina leaned upright and hummed to herself. "You need to see each man in your life individually, separated. We've all lost someone we cared about, even your sister I'm sure, so we understand. It's not easy to go onto the next relationship without nitpicking at everything someone is doing and comparing to how the last person would have done something." Trina put her hands to her hips and rolled her eyes.

"I think I'm past that stage, Derek."

He exhaled and tossed the fruit up into the air, catching it on the fall. "Maybe, but you might not be. You don't know, you haven't dated anyone _since_ him."

He had a point. Even when she was with Jesse, she found herself wondering about Sinjin. She did need some time to get past that. She had long enough that she could be ready to date, but just the fact that she never dated anyone else was something that seemed to state maybe she wasn't going to be beyond the 'compare and contrast' perspective. The only way she'd ever find out was to date again, and she agreed with Derek, she didn't want him to be the experiment. He didn't deserve that. Granted no one deserved to be the 'experiment', but one had to do so at some point of time.

"And hey, if it works out with whomever, it works out. Life goes on, Trina."

"I don't know."

"And you'll never know unless you try, right?" Trina held her breath and looked to Derek. He was approving of this, though she didn't know why she needed his permission. Rather, she didn't want to upset him. At the same time, she wasn't sure how comfortable she was with the concept of dating.

After releasing her breath, she bowed her head. "Okay, fine…I don't do blind dates so it's better if I meet this guy and his family first, I think." Rather, she simply wanted to know who he was in general. All she knew was this guy's father was a regular customer and possible recovering alcoholic.

One thing that was certain, she wanted a man, not a boy. If this guy was really lazy, she didn't think she could date the guy. Her first date since Jesse could either be successful or it could be a complete failure.

"What if I'm a terrible date? It's been so long, I'm rusty. I may also be too damaged to date…"

"I doubt that. As far as being a terrible date, you won't learn unless you try. Just be yourself." Trina looked down and shrugged. When she felt Derek's hand touch over hers, she lifted her gaze up and drew in a sharp breath. "You're beautiful, attractive, and anyone would be more than happy to be a part of yours and Sasha's lives. You couldn't be a terrible date unless you actually tried to be." She chuckled softly and shook her head.

"I'm telling you it's pointless."

"Hey, you should listen some." He smirked confidently as Trina pulled back. "I'm sitting here almost playing 'shoulder friend' while your sister and best friend are over here." He jerked his thumb to the girls and lowered his head. "Got to give me some credit."

"Yeah…" Hell, she'd already gotten plenty of advice. Even during one of her breaks she called Linda along with Abigail and Taylor, all three said she should go for it. "I know. What's the worst that could happen?" She paused and glanced up at the ceiling. "Then again…I really don't want to think about the worst thing that could happen."

"Few ever do." Especially with her luck. What were the chances of someone gunning down her next boyfriend, though? As crude as it was to think of, it was still a fear that she'd fall in love with someone and lose them. "As your friend I'll always be here to help you out, though be careful if you want to cry on my shoulder. I might not want to go that far." He winked. A shiver ran down her spine and her cheeks grew warm. "Just remember, the right person always comes along, but only when the time is right and you're ready to see them."

"But…I already met the right person…and Beck took him from me."

"No, he was right for you. Just, try and keep in mind that everyone has a phase in life. Like he was the person you needed then, the right time-like that guy Sinjin was the right person for you in his time. Now you need someone right for you now."

"Funny. I feel like I've heard that before."

"Well it's a Derek Venturi original." He flashed a handsome smirk and lifted his shoulders. "Maybe you've heard it before, it's still true. When you're ready for the right person, they have a way of entering your life when you least expect. Though it may actually be you'll realize it when you least expect. Who knows, the heart is a funny thing-that's why I teach music to a bunch of high school kids-they're not complicated."

"Oh I bet they're complicated. You never know. But thanks, you're a good friend."

"Uh huh, just don't go 'friend zoning' me anytime soon, got it?" Trina's lips curled into a gentle smile and she slowly shook her head while Tori and Casey laughed.

"I don't think I can do that, it's a bit juvenile to be honest."

"You'd think so, but it still happens plenty when you get older."

"Mostly to undeserving people." She put her hands to her hips and started to tap her foot on the ground. "Besides, I was with Jesse for months and he was never 'friend-zoned' or whatever."

"Well regardless," Casey piped, "I think it's admirable for you to give it another shot. You deserve to be happy."

"So I've heard. I've just been a big ball of risk taking lately, haven't I…"

"And they're _good_ ones. You can't be faulted for wanting to keep yourself guarded, but you also can't be faulted for trying to do something that could better your own life. If in the process you find a man that's right for you _and_ for Sasha, then what's the problem?"

"The problem is I could get hurt."

Tori glanced at her empty glass and spoke quietly, her silence still ringing out above the others. "You're hurting yourself and Sasha by _not_ giving it a shot. You should do it when you're ready, sure, but if you never try new things-if you never try go out and be happy, you're going to regret it eventually. You'll wonder why you never did anything for yourself. So have a little fun-responsibly and within reason, of course."

"Well, Sasha does come first."

"Of course, but don't neglect yourself either. It's like Derek said earlier, life does go on, and you either get on board or you're swept away with the tide."

"I suppose so. Maybe once I get past the awkward phase of things…Which it has been five years, so what am I doing? I've mourned Jesse, but he'd want me to move on wouldn't he?"

"He sounds like the type of person that wouldn't want you dwelling. So yeah, whenever you feel you're ready, then it's time to move on…can't stay stationary forever."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Of course, we'll always be here for you too, sis. So don't forget that."

"I won't." She hugged Tori. "Thanks…"

* * *

Well this should be interesting-if not a little fun. Its true though, life goes on and you can either remain in one place and get washed away or you can move with it.


	21. First Dates

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 21 (First Dates)

"I guess this is it," Trina drove up beside the address given to her. She'd spent some time with Sasha before coming up, the girl was happy and even more overjoyed to spend a little extra time with one of her Aunts. Her fingers gripped the steering wheel and she took a deep breath, slowly exhaling to calm herself. "Just meet, go out to dinner, and get back home to Sasha…"

After a minute, Trina stepped out of the car and walked around it, stopping to lean against it for a minute so she could study the home. It wasn't much, a single story yellow brick house with a front door and a window on the left side. From what she understood, this Jim still lived with his parents, and he was her age. Supposedly she couldn't fault the guy since she still lived with her sister.

A pair of headlights blinded her for a second and she glanced over to see a car pulling up behind hers. A woman with blonde hair stepped out after a minute. The woman was tall, tan, and wore a pink t-shirt with knee length blue jeans. "You must be this Sherry girl." Trina chuckled nervously as the woman walked up to her and extended her hand. She appeared to be the same age as her, give or take a year, so that was comforting. "I'm Tracey."

"It's good to meet you." Trina shook her hand, then pulled away. The handshake was soft and gentle. "Anyway that's me."

"Funny. You don't look like a Sherry." She rubbed the back of her head, scratching at an itch. Tracey folded her arms and looked towards the house. "Dad said he found someone to go on a date with Jimmy-I guess that's you. You don't look like you want to be here though."

"It's not that, I'm just missing my daughter. That, and, I haven't dated anyone since I was pregnant with her."

"Oh?" Tracey gave her a warm smile, comforting her. "How old is she? I'm guessing since you're here, the father isn't a part of your lives?" She frowned and shook her head. It wasn't exactly like that, but she didn't expect the woman to know anything about it.

"Four. The father passed away."

Tracey threw her hands over her mouth, her eyes widened with shock. "Oh! I'm sorry if I brought something up I shouldn't have."

"It's okay, you didn't know."

"Yeah, but I think it was rude of me. I have a child too that's around the same age, but the father wants nothing to do with us. Dad managed to get him to at least pay child support." Trina's eyebrows rose and she followed the girl into the house. She was beginning to relax. "I won't say whether or not I think you should date my brother-you seem like a nice woman, I'd hate to see you end up with someone that you shouldn't wind up with."

"You haven't even met me yet and you don't think I'm going to like your brother?"

"You'd be a first if you did." Tracey laughed and shook her head. "I went into college, came out with a business major and work as an assistant to a director on Broadway. My brother…still plays video games. Which, given any twenty-five year old, that's not too terrible, but it's all he does."

"Oh…" Already the uncertain vibe she was getting was growing worse. "I know I need someone responsible to be in mine and Sasha's lives."

"Right. I'm not trying to talk you out of dating him. Give him one date, see if you see it going anywhere, but I will let you know he's probably not the best guy for a woman who already has a daughter-and I presume-your daughter's your world right? My son is everything to me, and my fiancé adores him." Trina's mind drifted off to Derek and how he interacts with Sasha. It was a pleasant reminder.

"That's great. How long ago did you move up here?"

"About three or four years ago. I live with my fiancé. He is a guitarist, you might have heard some of his work in movies. Drake Parker?" Trina leaned back and shook her head, the name wasn't familiar to her, but she wasn't big on movies and television anymore.

"Unfortunately not." A woman with a soft, but aging face stepped into the living room. She had shoulder length brown hair and a thin-lipped expression. She curled her lips and waved at the women.

"I thought I heard talking. I'm Amanda, Michael is getting Jimmy."

"Before all that happens…" Tracey motioned for Trina to follow her to the couch. When they sat down, Tracey crossed her legs over and moved her hands to her knees. "There really is something familiar about you, Sherry. I went into the restaurant yesterday after Dad said you called." Trina's heart stopped and her eyebrows shot up. The family _was_ from around the LA region, but how would they know her?

"In LA, my dad knew all of the gangs. He had to, for, certain reasons." Trina raised an eyebrow and looked over as Amanda began inspecting a vase on the other side of the room. "One he knew of was the Black Knights…Almost a year ago their leader was killed, but you look exactly like her. Katrina Vega. The last crime boss in LA."

Trina's eyes widened and her lips parted, she had to explain that wasn't her life anymore. "I-" How could they have even known, really? Who was Michael?

"I don't care, it was in your past, and obviously you're going through some sort of witness protection if people are referring to you as 'Sherry'. My family went through the same thing, I'm going to be honest about that." She leaned back and pressed her lips together.

"What do you mean the 'same thing'?"

"My dad used to be a part of…that life. That's how I know you, because I had to keep up with all those gangs and make sure Dad didn't get involved with them. It was mom, really, that got us to move here." She froze with fear and concern. She wouldn't be so vain to turn down a date if the man's father had been a criminal, but it was _very_ concerning regardless. Tracey's eyes drifted over to Trina's, seemingly waiting for a response. "He faked his death with the FBI and we were put under witness protection for about ten years."

"I…I left that lifestyle a year ago, my sister's an FBI agent. I was trying to get out of that life ever since I was pregnant with Sasha. Her dad is the former leader of that gang-and before you ask-the only man I ever slept with."

Tracey lifted a hand up and retained a friendly smile, "I wasn't going to assume, trust me, I understand. Our family isn't a part of that life anymore either. I just didn't want you keep being called 'Sherry' if it wasn't your name-not to mention, I didn't want you to date my brother without knowing who we are. I wasn't sure if you'd be comfortable dating someone that has connections involved in that lifestyle."

"I appreciate the concern."

"Yeah. _And_, my brother works at McDonalds." Trina's face fell flat and her hand moved up to her forehead. She wasn't hearing anything good at all about Jimmy-at least nothing she wanted in someone that could be there for her and Sasha. Though, she couldn't judge him just yet.

"I'll go on a date and see what happens…"

"All right." As they were talking, Trina heard someone else walking into the room. She turned to see Michael and a man beside him. The second man was a little under six feet, had short, curly red hair and round freckled cheeks. He had a medium build and a slightly flabby gut. "That's Jimmy."

"I see…" Jimmy was wearing green polo shirt and long brown pants. Overall, he was no very attractive. Derek was right about one thing, already her mind was comparing him to Jesse.

She didn't see the long shaggy or long curly brunette with the strong jaw and strong build with broad shoulders and tight abdomen. She didn't see the powerful and warm arms that could keep her and Sasha safe and protected. She didn't see either the tall man that she was hoping.

Instead, this was a short and somewhat shy looking man-child that was stuck on video games and a dead end job. If they ever invented the time machine, she'd do everything she could to go back and stop Jesse from getting killed, but then, he might have passed on another way.

"So where would you like to go?" Jimmy asked in a slight nasally tone that irritated her eardrums.

"Movies. The movies seem nice this time of year…" Yes, the movies were dark, and everyone was required to be silent. Though it was a little unfair, since normally she hated the idea of movies on the first date. "Then _maybe_, if we're hungry, dinner." Jesse didn't always ask, he just went ahead and surprised her with a place for a date.

Such as the theme park, or even the fancy restaurant he took her to. Those were a couple of her favorite places. She still had that seventy-dollar bear he won for her, it was Sasha's now, and so graced with the name 'Rich'.

She shook away her thoughts and smiled pleasantly at Jimmy. Tracey whispered at her, "However this goes, give me a call, maybe we can be friends." It wasn't a bad idea, she actually liked Tracey a bit. It was always good to have friends around

Jimmy led her to the front door, which she wound up opening. She would have appreciated a gentleman, as she wasn't the type of hardcore feminist that hated all nice things men did for women. When dating, Jesse always opened the door for her-assuming she didn't get to it first.

_"I hate when Derek's right-damn I'm bad at not comparing people."_ No man could ever fill Jesse's shoes, she had to realize that and move on. She couldn't look for a man like that, and she knew it, because there was nobody like him.

"I thought we'd take my car," Jim announced happily. She followed him out and watched him climb into the driver's side of a small green smart car-a type of car that she absolutely hated.

After clearing her throat, she walked around the car and stood at the passenger side door, glancing up to see Tracey standing on the front porch of the house. After a second, she slid into the passenger side door and exhaled, thinking Derek and the girls would have a blast hearing about all this.

"I just hope Sasha's having fun with Aunt Abigail…"

* * *

Hm this should bode to be interesting


	22. First Breakups

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N: Stunned no one got the name references XD

* * *

Chapter 22 (First Breakups)

On dates, Trina rarely used her phone. This was a habit she formed way before Jesse, and before even Sinjin. It was a rule of courtesy, as she found it insanely rude to be on the phone texting-or talking-when you were with someone else. But after fending off Jim's slippery arm around her shoulders in the movie theater for some time-and awkward jokes during the already unpleasant movie they were watching-Trina _was_ breaking her rule and texting during their dinner date.

It wasn't much, she was texting back and forth with Tori. _"I thought I had more maturity and resilience not to text during a date-but goddamn it Derek was right-I can't stop picking at everything this guy is doing and comparing it to Jesse!"_

She pushed her phone into the purse beside her and looked up at Jim. He was still carrying on about something he did at McDonalds. "One of the customers was insanely rude to us," Jim stated, "So we took the food out back before giving it to them and sprinkled some stuff we found in the dumpster over it." Her eyes widened and bile shot up her throat.

She feigned a smile and leaned sideways against the wall, staring at Jim. Her fingers curled together in her lap while she fought back the urge to vomit. "It will be a while before I eat at McDonalds again. Not that I've eaten there for a while, being a bartender, I usually eat at my own restaurant." Jesse would never have done that to a rude customer.

Granted, Samuel Ross had been a different level of rude. Most legitimate rude customers at the sub shop Jesse owned, he'd try to calm them down and appease their troubles. If they kept being rude to the servers, he would politely ask them to leave.

"So! Let's talk about something besides work." The server brought the side salads to them and Trina merely stared at hers, uncertain where her appetite had gone. "I hear you want to be a video game designer."

"I'd like to be, but it's difficult. I do a lot of video game testing. Have you ever tried massive multiplayer role playing games?" Trina picked up her fork and slowly stabbed a piece of lettuce and tomato.

"No, I can't say I have. Not much of a gamer."

"Ah that's too bad. You're missing out."

"On what? Having my brain melt?" She rolled her eyes and leaned against the palm of her hand while moving the fork to her lips. She admired his goal of wanting to be a video game designer, but at the same time, it sounded more like he was just throwing his life away.

Chewing the lettuce, she grimaced. It was soggy, somewhat slimy and had a nauseating taste. Then again, they were at some cheap fast food place that tried to mimic a full on restaurant by serving the food. She had a tiny salad and would be getting a cheeseburger soon.

She could almost hear Jesse laughing at them from beyond the grave. If anything, she would have taken _Subway_. _Subway_, in recent years rose from being just the top competitor in the sub sandwich industry to being _the_ giant of the industry that no other sub shop could compete with, forever it would be king-as Jesse always said it would become.

After a minute, the server came back and set the hamburgers down in front of them. A crease ran along Trina's forehead as her eyes studied the cheeseburger with disappointment. The greasy hamburger was stacked with two strange and burnt patties, and a layer of melted-processed cheese between them. The tomato was sliding off with some strips of lettuce, and the buns were crumpled.

She didn't want to be rude, but this guy was practically an insult to Jesse. She didn't want the first guy she dated after him to be a junkie.

"I have to confess, I don't usually eat fast food," Trina picked up the hamburger and grimaced as her pinky ran along something slimy on the bottom. Turning over the sandwich, she saw a splotch of mayonnaise on the bottom bun. _"You're kidding me. Who brings someone to a fast food place on their first date? It'd be nicer if I actually enjoyed the movie."_

Of course, the movie they saw was some crappy horror movie relying on jump scares. It was predictable all the way to the end. There was a group of students trapped in a school with a malicious killer bent on revenge-every twist and turn, Trina saw coming. Of course, Jimmy was the type to try and put his arm around her and say he'd 'protect' her if she was scared.

If only he knew the scares she'd been through, nothing fazed her anymore.

"How is the food?" Jimmy asked. Trina scraped off the portion of the bun with the mayonnaise and bit into the hamburger. While chewing, she noted the chewiness of the meat and grimaced as something got stuck between her teeth. "I think it's great."

"Eh, it could be better, to be honest."

"You're right, I hate it."

"Er…no, I just think-" She exhaled sharply and gently set the hamburger down on the basket. Her instinct was to try the French fries, but at the same time, she really didn't want to. They were cold to the touch and hard, as if they'd not been cooked long enough. "I don't dislike fast food restaurants that much, but this place really isn't good. In-and-Out Burger is actually my choice of hamburger restaurant if I do have to go to a fast food place with hamburgers."

"Right, they're pretty good." That particular old-fashioned restaurant place, like Burger King, had actually taken McDonald's down a couple notches in recent years. There was something to do with the McDonald's CEO that really hampered the business.

She wouldn't mind fast food on a date, to be honest, but it wasn't impressive for a _first_ date unless there was good reason. "So tell me some more about yourself. What do you do in your spare time-when you're not playing video games, working, or…studying for school."

"Oh, I get high." She coughed as Jim nodded surely. _High?_ This guy did drugs? "Dad doesn't like it, Tracey tells me I shouldn't smoke weed so much. I mean I'm stopping, doing less than I did a few years ago-but it's hard sometimes."

"Okay." She'd had enough, drugs were her deal-breaker. She wasn't going to sugarcoat either, especially since that wasn't the type of person she was. Jim frowned at her and turned his eyebrows up in the center.

"Is something wrong?"

"I have to be honest-and if I come off strong I'm sorry-but there are certain things I'm looking for." She closed her eyes as Jim started to groan. "I have a daughter, as I've already told you, and if I'm going to date-I need a man that's going to be a good father figure for her above all else. I'm not saying that you couldn't be, but drugs are a deal-breaker for me, and for Sasha as well. Also, you appear to be lazy, playing video games all day-Tracey tells me you're failing college classes?"

"Yeah…I don't really do a lot of studying, I'll be honest."

Trina smiled sadly and reached over, patting his hand for a second before pulling away. He bowed his head and sighed heavily. "I need a man that's, well, I don't want to say you're not grown-but I need a man with a stable life and steady career. I don't want to use the typical 'it's not you, it's me' excuse, but to be honest-it _is_ mostly me."

"Oh"

"Yeah, I mean I don't know one hundred percent what I want, I'm just starting to get back in the whole dating thing, but I'm learning. A lot of it is that I'm comparing people to my late fiancé. That isn't fair to you, or anyone else. I'm sorry Jimmy, but I don't think this is going to work out."

"I understand…I guess I was a little out of my league, I don't know, Dad was the one who told me I should date someone."

"Yeah, you should date because you want to, not because someone else sets you up. Anyway, you need someone more your type, I think. I'm sure you'll find someone, there's always someone out there for everyone…The right person will come along when the time is right. A person capable of making you happy, and vice versa."

Jimmy's shoulders slumped and he waved his hand dismissively in the air. "Well, then, I guess I'll drive you back." She held her breath and nodded slowly. She was yearning to get back to her daughter. This was still a good experience, however, since she did learn a few things about herself. She knew she could go out on a date, it was hard, but she could do it and didn't need to be scared. Plus, she made a friend out of this experience; Tracey.

When she got back to her house, Sasha was already home. Abigail was sitting with Tori on the couch while Sasha was playing with one of her toys. Derek and Casey were there as well, with Derek having been dragged over by his sister. He was crouched on the ground, playing with Sasha, who had begged his involvement. Casey was on the couch chatting away with the two women.

Trina tossed her coat onto the arm of the couch and rubbed her temples as Derek looked up at her and smirked. "How'd the date go, Trina?"

"Shut up." Derek laughed loudly as Sasha looked up to her mother with a growing smile.

"Mommy! You're home!" Sasha cheered and ran for her, throwing her arms around her leg. "I missed you!" Trina bent over and picked up her child, smiling into the girl's bright eyes. "Did you have a good time, mommy? Was the man good?"

"He was nice, sweetie, but I don't think I'll be seeing him again."

"That bad?" Tori asked.

"Unfortunately. And I kept comparing him to Jesse…" Abigail shook her head and Derek shrugged. "But aside from that-he still fell way short of my own personal standards. He does marijuana…" Tori's face scrunched up while Casey and Abigail moaned. "He also spends all his time on video games and has very little of a life working at McDonalds." She heard Derek snicker and shot a quick glare at him. "Oh hush, Mr. know-it-all. Just because you were right one time…"

Sasha hugged Trina's neck and put her head on her chest, sighing softly. Trina rubbed the child's back and sat down in the recliner next to the couch. "She's exhausted," Abigail remarked, "We had Emily over at our house too, so the girls were playing with Amy all day."

"I see." She rocked Sasha gently from side to side and looked over to Tori. "Tori, I have a question for you. Does the name Michael DeSanta ring any bells for you?" Tori's brow meshed together and she tapped her chin.

"You know, I think I remember seeing that name in the FBI files somewhere. Another agent was in charge of him, but passed away recently. Why?"

"Because that was Jim's father. I was just curious-Tracey said they were once in the witness protection."

"Yeah, I think so. Former bank robber and whatnot, the FBI helped him to fake his death. Kind of like we did with you. I wouldn't get involved with former gangsters, Trina. You know how I am about that. Though, if his son and daughter were never involved, I don't see why you couldn't hang with them."

"Well, Tracey's nice. Assistant for a director working on Broadway, she's got a son. She also offered to introduce me to this former college classmate of hers…So yeah, I don't know."

"Go for it," Derek replied. He leaned back against the foot of the couch and moved his hands behind his head. The corner of his mouth tilted into a subtle smirk and his eyebrows arched. "Find someone that makes you happy and someone that will be able to take care of both you and your daughter."

"Sasha _always_ comes first, that's a must. Any man that wants to be a part of my life must accept and love Sasha too." Derek nodded and the girls each agreed. "That also means they can't be involved in things that might negatively affect my daughter-like doing drugs…" Or being involved in crime, which would be another deal-breaker for her. She was thankful, at least, that the guy she just dated didn't have anything to do with gangs aside from his father being a former gangster.

"Maybe you'll have better luck in the future, Trina."

"Maybe. But at least I know I don't have to be terrified of it…"

* * *

Well, that happened.


	23. Sibling Interaction

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 23 (Sibling Interaction)

After arriving at the golf and tennis court location on the Saturday she was meeting with the siblings, Sasha ran off to greet Emily, who was standing by her father. Trina walked up to Marshall, Abigail, and Taylor and watched the two young girls laugh together. "I didn't know you were bringing your daughter, Marshall."

Marshall chuckled softly and gazed down at his daughter. "When I told Hannah you were bringing Sasha, Emily heard and insisted she come along. She's very taken to her cousin."

"It's great to see them getting along. So, what are we doing, golf or tennis?" Marshall slumped his shoulders while Abigail and Taylor stood proudly.

"I personally enjoy golf more, but my sisters outvoted me." Trina laughed as Marshall closed his eyes. "Oh well. Golf or Tennis, I suppose it doesn't matter. Sibling bonding is always a good thing."

"That is true," Abigail smirked, "But enough talk. I'm ready to wipe the court with you, Marshall." Trina laughed again and followed them to the tennis courts with the children in tow. "We're going to do partners. Oldest against youngest."

"I guess that mean Trina and I are on a team," Taylor grinned, "Got it." Trina chuckled nervously as Marshall handed out the rackets. Abigail raised an eyebrow as Taylor shot a smirk at her little sister. "Oldest against youngest, Marshall's younger than Trina, so he's on your team."

"I'm not that much of a tennis player." It had been quite some time since she'd done any sports, and the last sport she did was running track in high school. That wasn't much to go on and had nothing to do with tennis. "I'll do my best though."

She glanced to the nearby bleachers where Sasha and Emily were watching the parents, "Go Momma!" Sasha exclaimed, "You can do it Mommy!" Trina beamed with pride and stared at the other team with a wide grin.

"My baby's rooting for me, you know I'm going to win."

"My kid's out there too," Marshall replied. Emily cheered her Aunt Trina and Aunt Taylor, causing Marshall to do a double take. "Hey! You're supposed to root for daddy!" Emily laughed wildly and Sasha clapped once.

Taylor put her hands to her hips and belted out a loud laugh, "The children know who the winners are."

Trina moved to the back court position, serving the ball. She hit it with great power, sending it flying towards Marshall in the back. He sliced his racket through the air, but missed. Taylor cheered and Abigail shook her head. "Hit the ball, Marshall!"

"It's okay," Trina culled, "Jesse wasn't good at sports either, it's in the blood." Marshall huffed and tightened his grip on the racket. Trina loved the competitiveness in the family, she also adored them for the love they had for one another. It was an amazing feeling to be a part of this family. _"Jesse would have loved these people too." _

"You were an athlete, Trina?" Taylor inquired while hitting the next ball. Abigail hit it back over and Trina ran to the other side, swiping the ball back.

"I was on track and knew martial arts."

"Amazing! I was on the softball team during my eleventh grade year of high school. It's not much, but it's something. I enjoyed the marching band more."

"My sister had a whole bunch of friends that practiced in the fine arts area. Music, drama, etcetera. Her best friend is still kicking around, her other good friend Cat, is in the military as a nurse."

"Sounds good. My siblings aren't that musically inclined-Abigail was in choir for a couple years in high school, but obviously she went a different route with her life."

"Both of ours did, it seems." Trina looked up as the tennis ball came soaring for her. She tucked her lip up into a smirk and struck it back over, cheering when Abigail and Marshall missed.

"Yeah, I had my own dreams-before I met Jesse. I wouldn't change anything over, though."

Taylor swat at the tennis ball, missing it by an inch, and Trina was too far to catch it. She winced as the ball struck the ground and the younger siblings cheered wildly. Emily and Sasha cheered as well, earning questionable looks from both Trina and Taylor.

"They don't care who wins," Trina chuckled, "They're just happy whenever someone gets a point. That's sportsmanship."

"Definitely the way it should be." Taylor looked towards her siblings, wagging her eyebrows. "Hey, winning team lets the daughter of that team's player decide where we go for dinner."

"Fair enough!" Marshall called. In the corner of her eyes, she saw the two young girls immediately begin conspiring. She didn't have to guess their decision may be the same regardless.

After the game, the group found themselves at a very familiar and nostalgic location, _Chuck-E-Cheese_. "I didn't know there were any more of these places," Abigail muttered while sipping her soda. "I'll have to bring Amy."

"I bring Jessica and James all the time!" Taylor announced. "Though yeah, there are fewer of these places around." Newer places for kids were popping up, so _Chuck-E-Cheese_ was dying out.

The booth the four were sitting at was right next to the tunnels that Emily and Sasha were crawling about in. They all had a good vantage point for watching the children. Trina was next to Taylor, and Abigail was beside Marshall. They were waiting for some pizza-and would be calling the girls over when the pizza was here.

It turned out that out of the entire game, Trina and Taylor did win, but it had been neck and neck entire time. Sasha and Emily both declared this place as a place to have dinner.

Marshall was tapping his hand lightly on the table, watching the children play. His brow furrowed and his gaze tore away. "I don't want to ask, but it's been on my mind. Did Jesse…ever say what happened to Dad?" Trina frowned at him and shook her head. She always wondered how the man died, but it was something Jesse never told her-he didn't know himself and always figured the man was gunned down.

"Jesse never saw his dad die. He knows he was shot and he became the leader of that organization." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and curled her fingers into her palm as her shoulders relaxed. "Feel free to ask me anything you like, I'll try to answer. You were his brother, you deserve to know what Jesse was like." Marshall smiled and the girls nodded. "He would have loved to know all of you, I know that."

"He was a good man?"

"Yeah-even as a gang leader he won over my dad, _a Police Chief_." Marshall chuckled and Abigail's eyes brightened. "There's a particular saying out there that fits him: 'That man could charm a miser out of his last penny.'" The siblings laughed. Her heart lifted and her eyebrows curled upwards.

This was really the first time she'd seen a true genuine reaction from them, aside from the meetings before she knew them as Jesse's siblings. She felt a sense of duty to let them know about him, because they all seemed to really want to know about the man.

She'd never forget the look in Abigail's eyes when first talking about Jesse, a peculiar sadness in not knowing the man but joy in hearing of him. Of course, Marshall seemed more affected, but he was closer-in a way-than Abigail was. He was related most closely by blood than his sisters were to Jesse, and he likely had more years to really wonder about him.

"I have always felt there was something I was missing, I'll admit to it. I never knew who my brother was or why I didn't know him, but I knew he existed. Even with that other family-my alleged 'dad' would always tell me that my mother had another kid and an ass for a husband. When I found mom, but didn't find Jesse, I don't know-it was an odd feeling. Happy that I found her, but sad that my brother wasn't."

Abigail reached over, patting Marshall on the hand, "You got two sisters though." He chuckled softly as Abigail turned her gaze towards Trina. "I have to say, Jesse _was_ looked up to by all of us-the stories mom gave us about him…we all wanted to know him. Didn't care so much about Ralph, though."

"I guess we know why he's gone." Marshall folded his forearms on the table and glanced down at the surface with a heavy expression. "Being the leader of a gang, you're bound to have enemies. You say Jesse wasn't a criminal though…"

"He wasn't a bad man, not at heart. In the Knights, he was a bit unconventional-it's almost like saying he was a gang leader is more injustice to him than anything else." Marshall's eyes drifted up to her and the corner of his lip tucked into a smile. Trina leaned back as the sisters gazed off with contemplation on their faces. "He took people in-people like me, with nowhere to go-and gave them a family. Gave them…hope, I guess you'd say. I guess he did transform his father's once virulent gang into a community for people with no hope left. He was everything his father wasn't-everything his father didn't want him to be."

"What stopped him from becoming that dark person?"

"I think it was just his good heart, really. He had someone before me, someone he loved, that really amplified that good part of him-so I think she's the reason his dad didn't have any power over him. Sasha's namesake."

"You say a man, another gang member killed him?"

"Beck. Yes…for some reason, every single gang leader hated us-hated Jesse. They thought he was an insult to gangs or something."

"It doesn't make sense," Taylor narrowed her eyes and tapped her fingertips on the table. "Killing Jesse because he led his own gang differently than other gangs? I don't understand how those thugs could be that low…"

It was true, the reason seemed almost childish, and Trina often wondered if there were something more to it. But searching for that answer wouldn't bring him back or change anything, so she learned to focus on other things that were more important.

"Okay let's move on," Abigail remarked, "We're all out to have a good time. Not burden our sister with question about Jesse." Trina's cheeks reddened and she lifted a hand, chuckling nervously.

"It's okay, really." She couldn't believe they called her their sister, and yet, she liked it. "I don't mind."

"Either way. Are you into politics by any chance?"

"Not really, but I am going to be voting for President Bannister in the election." Abigail nodded and the others murmured their agreements.

"He really is the one bringing about a true change to the nation," Taylor replied. The woman leaned sideways and propped her head onto her hand. "The opponents don't have much of a game plan-their only attack point is that he sent military into the cities. Yet, the crime wave in the nation is all but depleted-the only gang left is the Italian Mafia. For as powerful as they've been, their time is almost up, and once the FBI takes them out-President Bannister will most likely win a second term."

The Italian Mafia had always been the most powerful organization, and as Jesse once said, every gang in the nation would listen to them if they ordered something. No one was dumb enough to challenge or piss off the Italians. It would be crazy.

So it made plenty of sense that they were the last remaining. Though even destroyed, criminals would still come out. Maybe gangs would be gone, but it wouldn't be forever. As long as there were good people in the world, there would be bad people to make up the balance. For every Jesse out there, there'd be a Beck standing in the shadows.

Or was Beck simply a pawn? Simply the one gang leader to get a lucky shot at some mysterious bounty?

"Jobs are also going up," Trina pointed out nonchalantly, "Employment's the best it's ever been." Her voice lowered with her gaze, and her shoulders rose. "Though, I still can't find a job I really want."

"Your friend says you have great management material," Marshall remarked, "I need a general manager operating my bank." Trina's eyebrows rose up and her lips twisted into a half-smile.

"I don't know, I really don't know what I want to be. Once I wanted to be a cop, but I don't feel I should be. I would love to go into something fitness related, but god knows I'm not in the same shape I used to be. I have always been a fast typist, but secretary isn't what I really want to do with my life…"

"You managed an entire organization, right?"

"When Jesse died, yes. I even took over the sub shop he owned…"

"You're just a bartender now?" Marshall tangled his fingertips together and raised an eyebrow. "And getting dates from men at the bar." She laughed nervously and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Yeah I know it's not exactly _lucrative _or anything, and I'm not making a whole lot right now…"

"An experienced bank manager-note I'm the store manager, my general manager oversees everything under me-can make up to sixty five dollars an hour. You could make well over One hundred grand a year." Trina's heart jumped up into her throat as her eyes widened at the calculations. She wasn't sure if it was the best job for her, but it sure did pay a lot more than a bartending job.

"Well I…"

"What are you afraid of?" Abigail inquired. She bowed her head and shrugged, uncertain there was anything to fear at all. "So what if you led a criminal organization at some point of time? No one cares anymore, your own sister got the head of the FBI to 'forget' all of that, right?"

"Yeah…"

"And you say you don't want to be a police officer because you don't feel it would be right?"

"Not with the things that are in my past, no. Casey does say leadership seems to be something I'm good at."

Taylor lifted her head up, snapping her fingers, "Well you say all the waiters listen to you." She nodded carefully and looked over to the play area where Sasha and Emily were swimming around the ball pit. "So you're kind of a leader right there."

"Yeah."

"The least I can do," Marshall stated, "Is give my brother's widow a job." His mouth turned up into a coy smirk. Trina rubbed the back of her neck, chuckling nervously. "Work for me, take the management training seminar we have. Give yourself a good job-a life that you want for you and for Sasha."

"Then John can get to work with getting you a good house," Abigail added with a widening grin, "You don't _have_ to settle for a small home if you have a good steady income."

She didn't think there'd be any major issue with the job, she was just scared of the memories she'd receive while being a leader of any kind. Yet, the thought of being a general manager at a bank _was_ enticing. "I'll um…I'll give Casey some notice, maybe talk it over with my sister. I think it could be good."

"Well you know how to get ahold of me," Marshall replied, "Just let me know."

"Okay, I will."

* * *

With some prodding, if Trina allows it to happen, she may just find herself being given a much better life for her and her daughter. Ah this was a good chapter. We got to see some more of how Jesse's siblings feel and react towards him and some other things.


	24. Sister's Advice

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 24 (Sister's Advice)

Trina walked into the nursery room where Tori was rocking her baby in her arms. The sister looked up to her with a smile and put her finger to her lips, indicating the baby was sleeping. She sat on a nearby chair and admired the child for a second. "He's been cranky all morning and now he's finally tired out," Tori whispered. Trina hung her arm over her right knee and chuckled as she remembered the days of Sasha's infancy.

"If only you'd seen Sasha when she was a baby. She didn't cry much during labor, but all throughout that first year the slightest noise would set her off." She breathed in slowly and kept her voice quiet. "Tori, if you have some time, there are some things I'd like to talk to you about." Tori tugged on her child's blanket and slowly rose to her feet.

Trina couldn't help but to admire her sister in this moment. It had been so long since she'd seen Tori as anything but tough and firm. This was the soft, loving and nurturing sister that she remembered from their teenage years-a side of Tori that she truly missed. "All right Trina, let me put David in his crib." She watched her lean over the wooden crib and gently set her sleeping child inside. "I can't wait to get back to work, but at the same time, I don't want to be away from my baby." Tori put her hands to her hips and shook her head. "Then again, I'd rather avoid being a workaholic like dad was."

Trina frowned as her sister walked out of the bedroom, motioning her to follow. She took a last glance at her sleeping nephew, then moved out of the room with her sister. "He just wanted the best for us, Tori."

"I know." She didn't think her sister was at risk of becoming an workaholic, but she _did_ throw herself completely into everything she did. Ever since their father died, Tori focused her entire life on working hard. Almost nothing else distracted her from getting the job done. "All my hard work was for you, though. Now that you're you and Sasha are safe, and I have a kid, I don't need to work as hard."

"Yeah, I mean you can definitely slow down if you want."

"Well, that's not going to happen for a while, but I'll ask for lesser hours. That's for sure." They took their seats on the couch and Trina leaned back as Tori looked to her. "What did you want to talk about?"

"A couple things." Among the things that were going on, she'd seen the gang member and the old guy again. It was unsettling, and she was beginning to fear her daughter may not be safe. "First, there's someone that's been following me." Trina had been debating whether or not to confront them about it.

Tori moved her hands to her knees and leaned forward, raising up an eyebrow at her. "Want me to deal with it?"

"I was going to confront them myself, but-"

"You'd be putting yourself in possible danger if you did that. I can deal with it. Any idea who these people are?"

"No, but the old man looks like he belongs to the mob or something. Every time I see him, he's wearing some suit and talking to the other guy that looks like he's a part of a gang. It's really not hard for me to detect who is in a gang…you learn from things like behavior, posture, and so on…"

Her sister's face dropped and she closed her eyes, furrowing her brow and forming a crease along her forehead. "I see. Maybe someone recognized you. Let me handle it, don't you go trying to confront them. I don't want you getting hurt and I don't want you getting into any fights and wind up doing something wrong."

Trina crossed her arms and flashed a subtle smirk, "Still don't trust your dear sister not to get into trouble, huh?"

"Not a bit," Tori smirked back and swept her fingers along her pant leg. "I know how you get when there's a threat to you or to Sasha."

"I'm a protective mom, what can I say?" Tori curled her finger onto her chin and looked to the coffee table.

"Anyway, if they're gangsters-and in a mafia, the only ones left are the Italian Mafia. We're still looking for the leader, and Jade's working on a couple leads, but nothing's surfacing yet. I do not want you mixing with them."

"I promise-" She lifted her hands up and waved them for a second, smiling sincerely. "I will not confront or get involved with them unless they do something that warrants my action."

"Trina…" Tori's voice grew heavy and laced with warning.

"If they attack me, I'm attacking back."

"That's fair, self-defense is important. However…I'm going to call Jade up and have her shadow you for a while to see who these people are." Trina wanted to crack a joke about getting a bodyguard, but she wasn't in the greatest of moods for one. Besides, she didn't think she needed anyone to protect her, she wanted to protect herself and her daughter.

"Well, I guess that's fine. I probably wouldn't be able to talk you out of it."

"Probably not. No."

"Why has nobody figured out the Italian Mafia's Don?"

"No one coming forward, for one thing." Tori removed her hand from her chin and swept some hair from her neck. "Then there's the issue that they have been laying low for a while."

"Linda says Jesse's father was once with them."

"The guy's dead though, right?"

"As far as anyone knows, yeah."

"If dead men could talk, that guy would likely have known who the don was." Tori shook her head and reached over, patting Trina's knee and giving her a firm smile. "Anyway, everything will be fine. I'll have Jade within the radius of you, and I will get her to station some other agents around also, so the major places you visit will be secure. You'll not only be protected, but we should be able to identify the two men."

"Sounds good." It might feel a little awkward for her at first, but it was the legal way to handle it. "If they're recognizing me, following me around may be them trying to confirm their suspicions. They will act eventually, Tori-I know that from what I've seen in my experiences with gangs."

"Yeah, and that's why I'm going to have Jade and other agents guarding you. They're not the secret service, but damn if they aren't trained to do the job." Of course most FBI agents these days _were _trained to protect the president if they had to be. So her sister's statement wasn't at all surprising. "So, what else did you want to talk about?"

"My job, I guess." Tori pursed her lips. Trina's eyebrows rose and a tiny smile appeared at her mouth. "Well, Marshall's offering me a job."

"Brother-in-law, right? Oversees a bank?"

"Yes. He wants me to take the management seminar and wants me to be the bank's general manager." Tori's eyes lit up and her mouth tucked up into a half smile. Trina hung her elbow over the armrest of the couch and furrowed her brow. "I think it could really give Sasha the life I want her to have. It could really propel us forward as a family."

"So what's the problem? Nerves?"

"I guess it is a scary concept." She didn't know what, if anything, was holding her back. "I could gain the respect and trust of the bank tellers, because I know that's important in leadership and management. You have to be firm when the situation calls for it, but calm at most times. Care for the workers and the customers, and always show respect."

"Sounds like you know what it takes to be a manager."

"I learned a lot from Jesse. Took over the sub shop for a little bit when he passed, it's not hard for me to gain the trust of the workers. I guess I just have to know what I'm doing. That's what the seminar is for. Also to teach about what a bank manager does."

On part, she was more anxious in regards to not seeing Sasha. At most, she was unable to take her daughter to a bank. This was truly a golden opportunity, she understood that, and maybe that's why she was afraid of it. "A part of me doesn't want to think it could actually happen for me, Tori. All these good things that are happening right now, I'm nervous."

"That's normal. I think you should take Marshall's offer, and don't waver around. If he needs a general manager, that position won't stay vacant forever."

"Do I even have any suits? I don't think I own a single suit."

"I could get you one. It's a good thing that things are turning up for you. You deserve it, Trina."

She gave the woman a skeptical look and folded her arms. "How so?" Tori closed her eyes and inhaled slowly.

"Because for all the shit you've dealt with, everything you've been through and all the pain of your losses, you deserve to have something go right in your life. You deserve to be happy. Not to mention, Sasha would love to see her mama be successful at something."

She had to say Tori was right, she felt the same way. It was hard to say she deserved much of what she wanted, but Sasha above all deserved a good life. There was no time for anxiety in her life. Those days are over.

"I need to talk to Casey then, and see what she thinks. She should be at the restaurant."

"It's open right now?"

"No, but she's usually there during off hours so she can make sure everything's in order."

"Oh right, well yeah, go ahead and talk to her." An infant's cry tore through the house and Tori's head snapped upright. Her face fell and a heavy sigh drifted from her lips. "I'm going to check on David. Go ahead and talk to Casey." Tori stood up and Trina grinned as she waved off her sister.

"Okay. Good luck and welcome to motherhood."

Tori scowled at her for a second, then smirked in response to her. Wincing at the baby's consistent howling, Tori rubbed her temples. "I need Advil." Trina watched her sister hurry off, laughing for a moment. Once Tori was out of sight, Trina rose up and tugged on the crumpled parts of her jeans to straighten them.

"All right, I guess it's time to head out then." She'd be able to pick up Sasha from school in a couple hours, so she had ample time to go chat with Casey.

* * *

Nice little chat, Tori seems to feel Trina should take that job. I'll post the next up with this because the two were written together and split into two for sake of length.


	25. What is Deserved

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 25 (What is Deserved)

Upon arriving at the restaurant, she saw Derek's motorcycle and was immediately surprised to see him. Casey's car was there, but so was an olive green Cadillac, a car she didn't recognize.

Stepping out, she heard a loud crash followed by someone yelling. Her heartbeat skipped and panic shot through her. The doors flew open and a man with a blonde buzz cut went flying out of the restaurant. "Don't let me catch you around her again!" Derek's exclamation shook her and she watched as the man scrambled for his car.

She ducked back into her car, sitting low and watching as the man shook his flipped off the restaurant, then sped off. When the coast was clear, Trina slowly made her way to the restaurant, greatly concerned about her friends.

Inside, Derek was consoling his sister at the bar. Casey's face was in her hands and her body was trembling. Derek was rubbing her back. His face was heavy and eyes angry. "Is this a bad time?" Trina asked this while maintaining caution. Casey's head snapped up and Derek glanced over with a gentle frown.

"No you're fine," he replied, "Come on over. Is everything okay?"

"I was going to ask the same."

She watched as Casey turned around. Upon seeing her friend, she was filled with horror and anger. Casey's cheeks were stained with tears, her lower left lip was bleeding and her left eye had a light purple bruise. "You know Adam?"

"Your fiancé?"

"Ex…" Casey crossed her arms and hopped off the bar stool, narrowing her eyes. "That was him."

"Oh my god." Trina hurried over and gave her friend a hug. It didn't need to be said what happened, she understood. Every phone call Casey received from the man was a red flag to Trina. She even asked Jade, and Jade said it the way the guy acted also reminded her of Beck's actions in their relationship. "I'm so sorry, Casey."

Casey hugged her, then stepped back and wiped her eyes. "It's okay. Derek gave him a lashing. The relationship's over." Trina looked over her shoulder and shook her head slowly. "I had to call Derek. Adam came to the restaurant pissed off because I was planning on leaving him-it's been over for a while."

"So he was abusive to you?"

"Yeah…abusive, possessive…When you talked about that one guy, I made those connections." Casey shivered as she curled her fingers into her hair. "I don't know why I let it go on for so long."

"Want me to call Jade? Tori's busy taking care of her baby, but I can call Jade and have her go after him."

"No thanks, I want nothing more to do with him." Casey took a deep breath and walked around the bar. Trina glanced over to Derek, she admired how quick he was to help his sister and how protective he was. It was a side of him she'd not really seen much of, and she liked it.

"You always that protective, Derek?"

"I don't care for people who attack my family," Derek muttered, "I had my suspicions about Adam for a while now." He slid his hands to his waist and closed his eyes. "If I see him again I'm calling the cops on his ass."

"Good idea." She watched Casey pour herself a drink, then lean forward against the bar. She was impressed with her friend's tenacity and capability to remain strong despite what happened, but she knew how Casey was with holding things in. She was a lot like her, it was one reason they were such good friends. "Casey, if you want anyone to talk about it, you know I'm here."

"I know." Casey smiled softly and took a sip of beer. "I appreciate that. Now, you game here for something." She set the glass down on the bar and straightened herself up with a heavy sigh. "You wanted to talk about something, I guess?"

"Yeah." She and Derek moved over to the bar. In the corner of her eyes, she saw Derek lean his back and elbows against the bar and glare at the door, ever watchful and making sure Adam didn't come back in. It was oddly attractive to her. Perhaps due to the security she, and likely, Casey was feeling right now. With Derek there, nobody was messing with them, she could see that. "Um…well you know Marshall-"

Casey's eyes drifted up, squinting, and her finger tapped the side of her chin. "Jesse's brother…yes, I remember you talking about him."

"Well he wants me to take a seminar and work as a general manager at the branch he runs." Casey's lips turned up into a soft smile and she quickly nodded, not hesitating to give her answer.

"Take the job. You'll make a great manager, it'll give Sasha a much nicer life, and you'll also make more money. You two will be happier. I can always find another bartender, so don't think you need to feel obligated to stay here." Trina held back a chuckle as Casey pointed a finger at her. "You do, and I'd drag you down to Marshall's bank myself."

"I'm with her on this," Derek replied in a gruff tone. He relaxed his body and drew out a heavy sigh. Closing his eyes, he spoke with a calmer voice. "It's not just you, but Sasha needs that. You don't make enough on bartending tips. If you get a place of your own one day and start paying bills and all the other expenses Sasha needs, you will be living from paycheck to paycheck-forget having a nice house. While it's possible, it'd be fairly difficult."

"I imagine you're right. I want to give Sasha the best life possible, not a mediocre one."

"Exactly." Derek leaned his head back, his chest rose up slowly, then fell back. "So, have you had that date with the guy that Tracey girl is setting you up with from her work, was it?"

"Not yet, but I've spoken with him on the phone. He seems nice…"

"Lovely." She raised an eyebrow and watched as Derek turned around on the stool and leaned over the bar. His eyes fell on the beer beside Casey. "Sis, you really don't need to be drinking right now."

"I feel like it," Casey remarked, "Besides, after what just happened."

Derek nodded and shrugged his shoulders. He was just concerned, from what Trina could see. She'd be concerned too, especially since Casey wasn't the type to use alcohol to dull any pains. "I know, I know." Casey motioned to the bottles on the rack behind her and raised her eyebrows.

"I can pour you something. Whiskey?"

"I don't drink strong stuff, Case." Not to mention, the guy never drank without food, or at least, she never saw him drink without having something to eat. Derek looked over to Trina with a slight smile. "Hey Trina. If you ever date someone who gets aggressive-I know you can handle yourself just fine, but if you need me, you know where to reach me."

Smiling, she reached over and pat Derek's arm, "I'll keep that in mind." She pulled her hand away, then snapped her fingers. "By the way, Tori's going to get Jade and some agents to follow me around for a while…" Casey and Derek raised their eyebrows and Trina folded her hands over on the bar. "I know it sounds bad. It's just that Tori's concerned. You remember me mentioning the guy I ran into a couple weeks ago at Sasha's dance school?"

"Yes…"

"He showed up here with an older man recently, and ever since, I've catching them out of the corner of my eyes. They don't look like they're following, but it's too convenient and I can tell they are, so…Tori's going to try and figure out who they are, and I get to sit around and let it be solved the 'legal' way." Casey chuckled as Derek shook his head.

"You want to deal with it yourself don't you?" Casey asked.

"Of course I do. But whatever. I'll phone Marshall and let him know my decision."

"You'll take the job?"

"You guys and Tori think it's best."

"Well what do you think?" Derek shifted over in his seat and sat upright, arching an eyebrow at her. Trina curved the corners of her lip up and she nodded swiftly.

"I think I agree. It's best for Sasha, best for me, and really I'm not going to get an opportunity like this anywhere else." She tucked a strand of hair over her ear and glanced to Derek once more out of the corners of her eyes. "Plus, Abigail said John will be more able to help me look for a family home if I take that job. Because I'll have more money, and the nicer family homes are a bit pricier. I mean, I want a simple house, but the most simple-yet beautiful home that he's got on the market, you're right about Derek…I can't afford it with the job I have now, and it's one of the least expensive homes he has on the market."

"What's the house?"

"It's a little outside Manhattan, in a nice community close to the Chase bank branch that Marshall runs…it's a one story house with three bedrooms. That's one master, a room for Sasha, and a guest room. So three bed, two bath, a living room with a kitchen overlooking it."

"How much?"

"Too much. To rent would be near 1500 a month. I don't make nearly that much. It's one of those with two options-rent or mortgage. Mortgage, obviously, is much more. I don't know if I'm ready to buy a family home yet."

"Whatever you do, Casey and I support you."

"Thanks. You guys are too good to me sometimes." They chuckled and Trina shook her head. "I was just telling Tori too, I don't know what I did to deserve all of this. Your friendships, a loving, beautiful daughter. My sister's-well-everything she's done for me, Jesse's family, this job opportunity…I love it, but what the hell did I do to deserve it?"

Derek stood up from the bar and rubbed her shoulder, smiling into her eyes. "Maybe it's just your time, now. Your turn for things to go well."

She let out a gentle smile and looked over to Casey, breathing in carefully. "Maybe. Maybe you're right, now's the time for things to start working out. I've been too long with things going wrong, I need something to go right. For Sasha most of all. Because whether I deserve any of it, she deserves everything."

"I think someone's looking out for you two up there in Heaven," Casey remarked. Trina felt a stroke of shyness and cleared her throat as her friend started to smirk.

"I've still got a lot of growing up to do, I think. I don't know. It's going to be hard work, but…I want this to work out."

"It will. I'm sure of it. It's a climb, you know that, but you're more than capable of making it. A good mother knows also, take advantage of every single opportunity given to you, and you've done that, so I don't think this is any different."

"It isn't, I was just nervous, but I'm not now. I don't think I was ever _not_ going to take the offer, I just know I needed to talk to you first. Sasha's almost five and will be starting kindergarten soon. She'll make friends that she'll want to bring over, maybe even have sleepovers-who knows-my daughter deserves only the best, and I want to give that to her. Whatever it takes, I'm going to make it happen."

* * *

I'd say she's made a good decision, it should affect hers and Sasha's life positively


	26. A Lavish Date

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 26 (A Lavish Date)

Trina stood with her arms stretched out to the sides while Tori and Jade watched a store clerk take measurements of her body for a women's blazer. She was mildly annoyed, because now Tori was insistent on buying her an outfit. Plus, she needed to wear one because the date that Tracey set her up with was apparently wealthy and taking her to some fancy restaurant.

"So she needs what, one or two outfits?" Jade inquired. Trina sucked in her stomach as the clerk strapped the ruler around her waist. She curled her lip into an evil smirk as the clerk shot her a glare. "We'll have you look like a professional manager in no time, Trina!"

"Hah." She breathed out and narrowed her eyes at the older female clerk. "Just because you guys can afford it doesn't mean I want you spending money on it!"

"We're getting her three," Tori answered, "One for extreme formal arrangements. One for casual attire. Then one outfit for fancy dates." Trina rolled her eyes and scoffed. To her right, Sasha was playing with her cousin Amy and aunt Abigail, all three of whom were watching in great amusement.

Thank god she didn't have to worry about tuxedos for weddings and funerals. However, this foreshadowed a terrifying time of allowing her sister and friends to pin her up like a Barbie doll should she ever get married in the future.

"Now hold still Trina and stop making it harder on the clerk!" Trina swept her arm away as the clerk tried to measure her shoulders. "Trina!"

"What? I'm not doing anything." She flashed an innocent smile and let the clerk measure her shoulders. "If we're going for color-wise-Black, brown and red. I'm ambivalent to crème."

Trina caught Abigail covering a smile with her hand and flattened her gaze onto her. Abigail pulled her hand away with a laugh, "It'll happen much quicker Trina if you stop giving the clerk a hard time so she can find a suit matching your measurements." She huffed and looked down to the clerk now measuring her legs.

"Hey, we're measuring for a jacket."

"Needs a pair of slacks to go with it, Trina. You know that."

"Yeah, I know."

That evening, Trina waited tirelessly for her date. Since the guy was wealthy, and Tracey said he was a good friend of hers, she didn't expect him to be a total deadbeat. At the same time, she wasn't too sure if she wanted to do this date. There were other people she was more interested in, but she had to give it a shot.

Hannah was the one staying over to look after Sasha, she brought Emily and Brandon with her to play with their cousin. "Nervous?" Hannah asked. "You look great."

"I don't know." She wasn't nervous about her appearance. Her hair had been fluffed and groomed by her sister. She was wearing a violet blazer with black slacks and a sky blue dress shirt beneath her jacket. She had light makeup, as light as possible due to her distaste in makeup, and wore her purse strap over her left shoulder. "Derek seems extremely fine with my dating people, though he's been asking me for months if I'd date him. He says he doesn't want to be the one being compared to Jesse or something."

"Even though it's been five years, dating again always feels like the last man you were with was never that long ago. I can understand Derek wanting you to try and date around to get through that awkward phase."

"I guess."

"Either that, or he's just way overconfident." Trina laughed. She pulled the curtains from the window and gazed out to see a silver Porsche Panamera driving up alongside the curb. Trina's eyebrow rose and her jaw hung open.

"Oh my…Tracey wasn't kidding when she said he was wealthy." Hannah hurried over to the window and gazed out, gasping softly.

"How old is he?"

"Tracey said he was about thirty-two." She watched the driver side door open and a well-dressed man in a black suit dressed out. The man had light brown hair in a lengthy curl that was slicked back and drifted to the middle of his neck. "Well, I do think long hair is attractive, if done right…it's a start." She still wasn't sure what to make of this well dressed date. "Maybe it'll go well…maybe not."

"I wouldn't count Richie-McRich out just yet," Hannah said with a laugh. Trina was uncomfortable thinking about money. She was never attracted to wealth, and sure she wanted to have a successful but simple-not lavish life one day, she wanted to accumulate it herself. "You have fun on your date."

"It's a little intimidating, to tell the truth."

"I'm sure you'll be just fine." She pulled back from the curtain and looked to her daughter on the couch with Emily. A heavy sigh left her as Sasha looked to her eyes with a broad smile. Hannah passed her up and looked over her shoulder as the doorbell rang. "Don't be so anxious, just relax and enjoy yourself."

"I'll try." She answered the doorbell and smiled at the man standing in the doorway. He had strong features and an average, but slender build. "Hey, you must be Louis."

"That's right, you look stunning tonight."

"Thank you."

"Can I walk you to the car?"

"Sure, just let me say goodbye to my daughter right quick." He nodded and Trina hurried back inside to give Sasha a hug. The child hugged her back and looked up to her with wide endearing eyes. "Okay Sasha, mommy will be back in a couple of hours. You play nice with your cousins and aunt, all right?"

"Okay mommy. I love you!"

"I love you too." She gave Sasha a kiss on the top of her head then hurried over to the man. Louis led her out to the car and opened the door for her. Once she got in, she waited for him to enter and start up the car.

The drive was quiet enough for Trina to relax and take in the pleasant aroma emanating from the air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror. It was a subtle pine scent. The seats had expensive luxurious covers on them, and the windows were tinted. Amazingly she couldn't spot a single piece of trash.

"So I see you're rich, Louis." The man looked over with a smile and nodded his head.

"I am an oil and gas tycoon." That explained it. She was still intimidated by all his wealth, but at the same time, it was impressive. Although, Jesse wouldn't have all the wealthy items this guy had-the only thing 'rich' Jesse had was that mansion. He always preferred to keep life simple-plus burglars targeting the rich would mark him a target had they known he was wealthy. "What about yourself?"

"I am a bartender, but my late fiancé's brother is going to give me a job as a bank manager."

"Very nice."

"I'm hoping to give my daughter a good life. She's first in my life, always."

"I can understand that. You have a wonderful daughter." Trina felt her nerves go down and her heart lift. She smiled graciously as he pulled to a parking spot. Louis then got out of the car and led her to the restaurant.

Once inside, the extremely well dressed host guided them to the table. When she opened her menu, she was startled by the prices. "Forty bucks for a steak?!" Louis lifted his hand and chuckled.

"I can afford it." She glanced over the top of the menu, her eyebrows faltering on her brow. "Don't worry about the prices at all."

"I don't want to take a chunk out of your wallet," she whined, "I mean I know you're pretty wealthy but that's no reason to spends so much." She looked down to the wine list and exhaled softly. "Well I guess it really isn't a bad thing."

"If you'd rather, we could go somewhere else?" That was considerate of him, but she didn't feel like putting him out of his way.

"I'm not really dressed for anywhere else. This will be fine. I just have more simple tastes, I think." Louis gave her an understanding smile and nodded as a waitress came up to the table. The woman looked to Louis with arched eyebrows and held up her notepad.

"Are you two ready to order or can I get you drinks?"

"I will have your finest cabernet." He looked to Trina, who was still scouring the menu. "And what will the lady be having?" Her eyes flew up towards his, then she looked to the waitress nervously.

"What do you recommend off the wine list?" The waitress walked over to her menu and hummed.

"What are your preferences? Light, blush, or red? Sweet, dry, or fruity?"

"Well I was thinking of having a steak, so I'm not sure. I'm definitely planning on one of the steak meals."

"Then I would recommend a red wine. As with your date, I do recommend the Cabernet Sauvignon."

"Oh. Okay, I'll have that then."

"I will bring your drinks right out." Trina set the menu down and watched as the woman walked off. She folded her hands in her lap and stretched her arms, sighing heavily. Louis frowned and scratched at his chin.

"I am sorry, if you are not enjoying yourself we can still go elsewhere."

"No it's fine, but thank you. I've just got a lot on my mind." She was still trying to fight off comparing this man and Jesse. They were worlds apart, despite both men being wealthy in their own right. "So tell me more about yourself."

"Well I've lived in New York most of my life, working with my uncle. My uncle passed on a couple of years ago, and I inherited his company." She leaned forward and looked off to the side.

Jade was watching them from a faraway table, guarding just as Tori said she'd ask the woman to do. She didn't think that included dates too. Jade was sipping on a light wine and had a small plate of fish.

She glanced back to the man smiling as he continued to talk about his life. He grew up with a semblance of wealth, but only after moving in with his uncle. His parents weren't the richest people around and passed away when he was in his teens. He had a sister that moved in with her best friend around the time, and an older brother that went into pro sports-he hadn't spoken with either sibling since moving in with his uncle.

His uncle was a great man of many jokes and lavish tastes, but he was much older and passed away from a heart attack.

"That's too bad, all you lost." Trina curled her fingers through her hair and gazed sadly at the table. "I lost my mom and dad when I lived in Los Angeles. Gang related deaths. My sister moved away, but eventually she dragged me out of LA and back here to New York."

Louis laughed and flashed a smile. "Sounds like a great sister to have.

"She's the best."

"You said you also had a fiancé that passed?"

"Yes, Sasha's father. He died five years ago."

"I am sorry to hear that. I imagine you loved him."

"I did. Very much." She looked off to the side once more and thought she saw Jesse standing behind the Maitre 'D, looking over his shoulder. She felt a sting of tears threaten her eyes, but withheld them. Jesse leaned upright and looked over, shaking his head and whistling. Her lips curved into a subtle smile and she looked back to Louis. "So it's been Sasha and myself all these years."

"A mother looks after her young, I think it's admirable that you seem to be doing so well for yourself."

"Thank you."

After the date, he drove her back to the house and walked her to the door. Pulled her hair back over her shoulders and started looking through her purse, hoping to pay him back _something_ for spending so much money. Louis simply smiled and reached down, placing his hand over hers. "You don't have to pay me back, Trina." She frowned and shook her head.

"You don't understand-"

"If you're that concerned, perhaps you can choose the second date?" Trina paused for a moment and pulled her lips back into a half smile. Was he just asking her on a second date? It couldn't hurt-she was intrigued and wouldn't mind knowing some more about him.

"Well I uh-I did have a good time tonight, despite the price of the meal." The total bill came up well over one hundred dollars. She'd never seen that much money on a dinner bill for a restaurant in her life. Even the most expensive date she went on with Jesse was a dinner that wound up being seventy-four because she just _had_ to have a cake for dessert-and lemon pepper chicken skewers as an appetizer. "I do know a nice simpler restaurant to go to."

"Okay, we can go there. What do you have in mind?"

"My…work?" Her voice was meek as Louis laughed and nodded in reply. "It's a nice little place, the prices aren't staggering and the cooks are some of the best."

"Then we can got there."

"Okay. Saturday at eight?"

"Works for me."

"Great." She took a deep breath and the two said their goodbyes before walking back inside. Hannah was on the couch, reading a book to the three children, who were laying on their stomachs atop pillows and a blanket. Brandon had already fallen asleep and was sucking his thumb. Emily was kicking her feet in the air, her eyes were down halfway and her hands carried her tired head. Sasha was gazing at the storybook with wide eyes and an open smile.

As Trina closed the door, Sasha hopped up and leapt over her cousins. "Mommy! You're home!" She ran over and hugged her legs, catching Trina off guard for a moment. With a smile of relief, she reached down and hugged her daughter.

"I missed you, Sasha."

"Missed you too, Momma!" Hannah closed the book and glanced over with an arched brow.

"How was the date, Trina?"

"It was good, _expensive_ though." She picked up her daughter and walked over to the couch, sitting next to Hannah. "There's a second coming though, I was able to choose it, so we're having it at my work."

"Your _work_?"

"Yes. It's a good excuse to also introduce Casey to my date."

Hannah chuckled and Sasha rolled her head to the right, "Momma? Won't Derek be there too? He's always there." Trina nodded and Hannah raised one eyebrow, smirking suspiciously.

"You want him to see the guy too, huh?"

"Well you know, Derek's a…he's a good friend, I'd like my date to know my good friends…"

"You'd like to know if Derek approves of him?"

"I didn't say that."

Hannah chuckled again and looked to her now sleeping daughter curled up beside her little brother. "Well. I hope that date goes well. You want me to let Marshall know about the job offer?"

"Yeah, when does he want me to take the seminar?"

"I think he says it is in about three weeks. So that gives you plenty of time to give Casey notice. You should be able to start working in about a month if everything goes well."

"Great! I'm looking forward to starting."

"Well Marshall's looking forward to hiring you." Hannah stood up and reached down, picking up her son and calling for Emily to wake up. "I need to get my kids home to bed. Give me a call some time."

"All right." Emily rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"I don't want to go home, Momma," Emily answered, "I still want to play with Sasha."

"It's Sasha's bedtime too, sweetheart." Emily sighed and Sasha hopped down to hug her cousin.

"You should go home, Emily, we can play another time." Hannah put her hand to her chest and Trina awed at the sight. It made her think of letting Emily sleep over some time, but not tonight unfortunately. Besides, it wouldn't work out too well with Tori and Ben in regards to their baby.

"Maybe when we get a place of our own, Emily could stay over some nights," Trina suggested. Emily and Sasha gasped happily and Hannah smiled softly.

"That could work," the woman replied. "James and Jessica stay overnight at our place on occasion. Gives Taylor some breathing time from her children." Hannah laughed and Trina chuckled softly. "You and Sasha have a great night, alright."

"You too, Hannah." She hugged Emily and waved as the little girl moved beside her mother. "Have a good night Emily."

"Bye Aunt Trina!" Emily waved and Brandon nuzzled his head closer into his mother's shoulder and neck crevice. "Bye Sasha!" Sasha waved her arm and watched as her aunt and cousins left the house.

Trina adored seeing this, but then, she didn't think she'd ever get tired of it. Sasha was the happiest that she'd ever seen her, and Trina loved it.

* * *

Aside from the humorous exchange with that poor clerk that had to put up with Trina, looks like Trina had an interesting date. I wonder if Derek's got competition? Hmmm. Naaah, as the guy would cockily reply "Give it some time..."


	27. Birthday

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N: This chapter is a particular day, but it's not a time jump because it's around the same timeframe as last chapter. I just wanted to get the reader to know around the time of year it is at this point.

* * *

Chapter 27 (Birthday Celebration)

Finally the summer had begun and Sasha wouldn't have to go to school every day. She still had lessons with Debbie, but preschool was over and Kindergarten was coming. Trina was frantic, though, trying to figure out what she was going to do with her time when the girl would start school. In her franticness, Taylor told her to relax and invited her to her son's fifth birthday party. June 12th, 2019.

She drove her excited daughter to the park where the party was going to be, it was Sasha's first time to have a full family celebration. Tori was unable to come of course, but at the same time, Trina didn't want to ask her to come to a party for someone she was neither related to or acquainted with.

At the park was a long table with a white tablecloth, there were many swirls and balloons surrounding it. In the center was a vanilla frosted cake with sprinkles and a statuette of James's favorite superhero: Iron Man.

All of the grandparents were already at the park with James and his little sister, Jessica. Taylor was busy fixing the tablecloth while a man with short brown hair and a fresh goatee stood beside her. Trina immediately recognized him as a man in the many photos on Taylor's wall-her husband, Brian.

Sasha ran over to James and the two year old Jessica, who were playing in a nearby playground. She watched as the children laughed together and running towards the fort. Watching from two nearby park benches were Linda, Henry, Maurice, and Helen.

Taylor looked up from the table with a delighted gasp and called out to Trina. Somewhat startled, Trina turned to the woman and waved. "Trina! Look who managed to fly home in time for his son's birthday!" Brian chuckled softly and smiled back at her. He extended her hand and she returned the handshake, admiring his firm gesture.

"You must be the one I've heard so much about. It's good to meet you."

"Likewise." She looked over her shoulder to see Sasha following James down a slide and guiding Jessica carefully down it. "Sasha's already playing with James and Jessica." She looked back and folded her arms. "I've heard much about you as well, Taylor says you've been piloting for several years?"

"Yep. Just got in from Tallahassee."

"Florida? I know someone who lives down there-haven't spoken to her in years though." Her mind instantly traveled to her old friend Vivian. She hadn't given much thought to her lately, but she did wonder what ever happened to her. Trina rubbed her chin and hummed to herself. "I should look her up one day, if my sister would ever allow it."

Tori likely wouldn't want her contacting anyone from her past, it was the golden rule of witness protection-which Trina really didn't think was necessary any longer. Vivian, Roger, Rachel-she couldn't help but to question if they were all doing well-or if they were still alive.

"Old friend? Perhaps you should look her up."

"No, it wouldn't be a good idea. Though, I do wonder how Vivian's doing." Brian crossed his arms and lifted his shoulders, glancing over as Taylor continued to investigate the tablecloth. The woman was making every edge matched and symmetrical.

"Funny there was a woman named Vivian working as a stewardess at the airport in Tallahassee." Trina chuckled and looked up to the sky with fondness. It would be fun to imagine Vivian soaring the skies, a perfect symbol of freedom, something the girl sought out for so long and finally achieved.

"Out of curiosity do you remember her name or appearance?"

Brian squinted to remember and shook his head. "I'm trying to remember, I think Vivian Jacobs or something to that degree. She was a redhead. I think I only saw her at the meeting I attended, she was talking to one of the pilots that worked there."

"Sounds like if it was her, she'd be living the good life she always wanted." Trina was almost envious, but yet, she was happy. It wasn't known if it was the same woman of course, but regardless, it was a sign that an old friend was functioning well. "Anyway, good to finally see Taylor's husband."

"Yeah, and welcome to the family, it's good to have you here."

"Thanks." Glancing over, she thought she saw Jesse's spirit standing by a nearby tree, watching his daughter. It gave her a sense that the entire family was getting together, and it pleased her.

A car rode up to the nearby lot and Trina watched as Abigail stepped out with John. She took her two year old daughter from the back and looked over, waving at Trina. "I got a call from Marshall and Hannah," Abigail stated as she walked up to the family. "They're on their way, they are stuck in traffic."

As Abigail set Amy down, Jessica came running over to play with the young girl. James and Sasha soon followed. Sasha paused for a minute to examine Brian. Her mouth grew to a wide smile and she hopped over. "Are you Uncle Brian?" Brian knelt down and smiled at the young girl.

"That's me." He rubbed her hair and closed his eyes as Sasha let out a triumphant cheer. "Good to finally meet you."

"Mama and Aunt Taylor say you can fly! Is that true? Can you fly?" Trina couldn't help but admire her daughter's innocence. Brian laughed and shook his head.

"Not physically. I'm a pilot, I fly planes and can take a number of people across the country at one time." Sasha's eyes widened and she threw her hands up with a gleeful laugh.

"That's even better! My Uncles are awesome, momma!" Brian and John laughed silently.

"That's right, we are."

Sasha tapped her chin, looking down at the ground in contemplation. "But Aunt Hannah's a nice doctor and can heal a lot of people, so that beats flying, I think." Brian raised an eyebrow as Taylor started to snicker. "You transport, she saves lives."

"I take people wherever they want to go. Once Hannah preps them, I'm ready to deliver. John gives them a nice home or cabin to rent in their destination while Marshall gives them a bank account and Taylor plays sweet music for them. We're all a team."

"Like the justice league that my mom grew up with?"

"Exactly."

"So cool!"

"But be careful." Brian put a finger to his lips and Sasha watched with hushed seriousness. "Something I tell James-don't tell the superheroes, but we're in a league of our own that's much more impacting." Sasha gasped and looked up to Trina with wide eyes.

"Momma! My Uncles and Aunts are better than superheroes!" Trina watched in amusement as Sasha hugged her uncle. James, Jessica, and Amy surrounded Sasha, asking her to join them on the fort. "Okay I'm coming."

Marshall and Hannah arrived several minutes later with Brandon and Emily. Almost instantly, Emily and Sasha were playing on the swings with the other cousins. After a few minutes of play they started to separate into small units with Emily and Sasha playing together, James playing hide and seek in the fort, and Amy sitting in the sandbox with Brandon.

It wasn't hard to tell which cousins were going to grow up closest.

Trina sat down beside Linda, watching the kids play. There didn't seem to be anything to make this day less enjoyable than it already was. "It's a wonderful thing, isn't it?" Linda asked just as Trina dusted off her knees. "To be surrounded by people who love you."

"I agree." She watched as Sasha and Emily hopped off the swings and chased each other around the park. A ways off was a clown making balloons, immediately the girls were immediately drawn to him.

"I hear you have a second date coming up. Hannah says the guy's rich?"

"Yeah, it's a bit intimidating though, but he's nice." Linda raised her eyebrows and shrugged.

"Do you like him?"

"Well, it's only been one date so far, so I'm not sure what I think of him. I don't know if he's good enough to 'bring home to the family', if that's what you're wondering about. I still have to find out more about him before I judge that." She'd rather them meet Derek, for instance. The siblings already had, or at least, Taylor and Abigail had.

"I hope you find someone that will make happy. Just remember, you're always going to be a part of this family no matter what."

"I'm glad you approve. I know you've already told me a million times, sometimes I worry about dating someone else after I just met all of you." She was aware that nothing would change, they wouldn't be awkward with her or pull away, and that was something she truly appreciated about them. Linda's wrinkled cheeks rose and she reached over, taking Trina's hand in hers and patting the top of her hand gently.

"You're like a daughter to me, you were Jesse's love, and you brought me his child. I could never turn you away if you decide to be happy. Look at me, I made it out okay, and so can you. I have Henry, and one day, you're going to find someone that will treat you right-and I know Jesse will be smiling down on you because he'll want you to be happy too."

"I know. You know something I'm worried about, Sasha starting kindergarten."

"Oh you'll be fine dear, just keep up with your hobbies and schedules. The separation anxiety won't get the best of you."

"You're right, it won't."

As she looked over to the side, she saw Taylor cup her hands over her mouth and call for everyone. "Time for cake and presents!" With that, every child broke from what they were doing and ran for the table. Trina stood up from the bench and walked with Linda to the table.

James sat down in front of the cake, bouncing excitedly while Hannah lit the five candles. Trina joined everyone in singing the birthday song while John recorded the celebration. James then blew out the candles and Abigail dove in to cut the cake.

Each child had at least two slices of cake before James opened all of his presents.

When all was said and done, Trina went to help Hannah and Taylor clean up all the wrapping and food. Emily and Sasha were once again chasing each other around the park, and both moms told them not to go far.

It took ten minutes to clean up, and by then the family gathered together, but something didn't feel right. Looking around, Trina's heart began to race and Hannah started to shriek. Emily and Sasha were _missing._

"Sasha!" Trina scanned the park and the rest of the family began to break up, calling for the two girls. A rush of fear swept over her as she began to suspect the worst. Tears came to her eyes and her muscles tightened as she ran to every bush and every tree, trying to find her daughter and niece. The one thing of it was, the entire family was coming together to search for the two girls.

"Sasha! Emily! Where are you!" In this moment, a mother's worst fear, she chided herself for taking her eyes off her daughter for one second. How could she let this happen? Why did this happen? Sasha never was the type to wander off on her own, and according to Hannah, neither was Emily.

Had someone taken them? Could that have happened? No. She didn't think so, not with everyone around. Besides, even now, Jade had agents set up throughout the park.

What about the elder man with the silver ponytail? She'd spotted him upon entry to the park. He was reading a newspaper. Could he have done something? No, he was getting ready to leave when she arrived.

The family continued their search, each second passing as if it were an eternity. They would not leave the park until they found the girls, and if they had to, they'd tear the place apart doing it.

* * *

What a nice birthday bash.


	28. Lost Girls

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N: This one is in Sasha's perspective, and there's a reason for it, as her actions here could very well impact the future.

* * *

Chapter 28 (Lost Girls)

"It flew this way, Emily!" Sasha led her cousin through a group of trees in pursuit of what was a very colorful bird with vibrant red wings. The girls were laughing and trying to figure out where it was, not even thinking about how lost they were or how far from their parents they were traveling.

"I think it's gone," Emily replied. Sasha frowned and looked around, wanting to find the creature and bring it to her mother. She'd never run off before, though, so now that the animal was gone she was beginning to feel a sudden shot of nervousness. Emily hurried up beside her and groaned. "Where are we, Sasha? I want to go back, mom and dad are looking for us."

She didn't want to say she didn't know, but she was scared. She desperately wanted her mother, but she wasn't going to show Emily that fear. All her life, her mom had been her hero, been the strong one despite danger, and Sasha wanted to be just like her.

Studying her surroundings, she saw a creek to her right that was lined with boulders and stones. To her left, a Cliffside that went down farther than she was certain of. Behind her, trees. In front of her, more trees. Yet, she could see a spot between the trees just northwest of her that opened out into a wide field. Maybe this was the way back.

"Okay let's go this way." Emily clutched her shirt so as to stay with her. Sasha guided her through the opening and out the trees, wincing as a thorny plant grabbed at her leg. She clenched her teeth as the pain stung her. When she looked down to see a small line of blood dripping down on the top of her pink sock, a whimper fell from her lips.

"Sasha, you're bleeding!"

"I'm fine, Emily. We'll get home. Maybe we'll find Jade or someone that can help find our moms." She was sorry for running off, and now she was bleeding. She wasn't experienced with blood. It terrified her, since people bleeding _died_.

Memories of the violence back in LA before her aunt found them haunted her still, but she managed to not think about them for so long. Now she was scared that her mom wasn't around to cover up the cut and prevent all the blood from rushing out of her.

"Maybe if we call for our mommies they'll hear us?"

"It's worth a try." Sasha took a deep breath and let out a loud bellowing cry. "Momma! Momma where are you!"

"Mommy!" Emily joined the cry. "Aunt Trina!" It was no use, their parents couldn't hear them. "Sasha I'm scared. Mommy told us to stay close."

"I know." She started trembling as she lead Emily across an open field. There were two big goals on either side of the field, they looked like what her mom always described as soccer goals. They hadn't passed soccer goals on the way, so they were going the wrong way, but Sasha didn't want to go back in the thicket.

The sun was beginning to set and Sasha worried about the darkness. The dark terrified her because it was always the time the monsters came out. She had to remember what her mom always said when she got lost, but at the moment, she couldn't seem to do so.

The further they walked, the harder it became for her to breathe. She could hear sounds all around them, such as the leaves on the trees rustling in the wind, or a chirping noise that struck terror in her. She clenched her eyes shut, ready to scream. What she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry, expecting her mother to find her magically, but she had to realize that wasn't going to happen.

In the distance, on a sidewalk on a lake, she saw a man standing in view of the large water. He had a long silver ponytail that hung over his black suit. Sasha was hesitant to go up to him, knowing her mother always told her never to talk to strangers, but if she wasn't to be bold, the parents may never find her or Emily.

"Emily, maybe this man can help us." She felt her cousin tremble and protest. "I know we shouldn't talk to strangers, but trust me, it'll be okay." She didn't get an overly bad feeling from this man, not like the people that were back in Las Angeles. She was receiving mixed signals, but she didn't have a choice. "Stay behind me, Emily."

"Okay." Sasha put on a determined expression and marched up to the man facing the sunset. She reached up with a shaky hand and tugged on his slacks.

The man looked down, startled and shocked. He had an aged, elderly expression and was standing with a cane. "Sir, can you help us?" The man crouched down, raising an eyebrow and staring into her eyes with curiosity. She pressed her lips tight together and tried to appear as tough as she could.

"Did your parents tell you it's not wise to talk to strangers, young lady?" The man looked towards Emily, who hid further behind Sasha. "Who is this?"

"My cousin Emily. Her dad is Uncle Marshall, and he's a powerful bank manager, one of the superheroes. So you can't mess with us. Mommy's tough too!" The man chuckled softly and rubbed his grey goatee. "We're looking for our moms, we don't know our way back."

"Sasha's leg is hurt too! She's losing blood!" Sasha looked over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow at her frantic cousin.

"Losing blood?" The man asked. Sasha moved her leg forward and the man studied the cut. "It's a simple cut, you'll be fine. I've had worse scrapes in my day. Even now, I end up cutting myself on just about anything. Here." The man reached into his jacket and slowly pulled out a pack of Band-Aids. "Let's put one of these over it, that should stop the bleeding."

Sasha was hesitant at first, but looking once more at her cut, she allowed him to put the Band-Aid on. "Where did you last see your mom and dad-Sasha, I think your cousin said? You're pretty tough, most children your age would be terrified."

"Yes. Well my dad passed away before I was born, a bad man hurt him. After that, I've been looking after Momma, so I have to be strong for her." The man frowned as she took a step back and looked over her shoulder. "Momma's at my other cousin's birthday party. We ran off because we saw a bird that I wanted to show mommy."

"Ah. Well let's see if we can't get you back over there."

"You seem like a kind man. That means you'll help us?"

"I don't know if kind is the right word, but yes, I'll get you back to your mom." The man rose up and looked out at the setting sun. "It gets dangerous around here. The last of the gangs still fighting with the FBI and military, there are many people prowling around at night."

"Momma's in one of the private sections."

"The park personnel did close off a part of the park for some kid's birthday. We'll try there." Sasha followed the man and looked back to ensure Emily was still with her. Her cousin appeared nervous, but trusting. She didn't know if they could trust this old man or not, but for now, he was the only shot they had at getting to their moms. "Sasha. Your mother give you that name?"

"Yes, she named me after someone daddy knew." She knew better than to tell this man anything about herself or her mom, but something like that didn't seem to be a problem. "I'm worried about momma, she needs me."

"We will get you to your mom safe. Though, you should not run off, I am sure your mom is beside herself with worry." This fueled her determination to get back to her mother, despite anything that may get in her way.

"Mom's been trying to be safe for a long time, we weren't in a good place in the other place we lived. Now that we've found daddy's family, things are getting better for us."

"I'm sure your father would like knowing that."

"I think so. Grandma always says that."

"Your grandmother sounds like quite the optimist."

"She is, and really nice. Daddy would have loved her." The man hummed and guided them around a corner. "Mom's worrying about gangs, but they're almost all gone now. I hear them saying something about the mafia being all that's left."

"That's true. You're pretty young to understand, though…"

"I grew up in a place where mom and I were always worrying about bad people." It was harder to say she didn't know some things, she knew all about gang members. She didn't understand the concept of gangs, she just knew they were bad people. "Mommy and Papa have always had to deal with bad people, even Granddad on dad's side was a terrible person. Grandma cries when she thinks about him."

"Really?"

"Yes. He left because he thought Uncle Marshall wasn't his…"

"Ah." Just around the next corner, Sasha and Emily were pleased to see their family looking all over for them. "Well here we are. Are these your people?"

"Yes! You should come meet momma!"

"No. I think I won't." She saw her grandma look over just as the man turned to walk away. The older woman froze, her eyes widening with fear and uncertainty. She shook her head and extended her arms as Emily and Sasha ran to her.

The girls were scooped up by their teary-eyed grandma. Linda looked over her shoulder, calling out for Trina and Hannah. "The girls are back!"

"Oh god!" Trina breathed a sigh of relief and ran for her daughter along with Hannah. Sasha smiled heartily as her mom's protective arms wrapped around her. "You scared me so much, don't ever wander off like that!"

"I'm sorry momma."

"What would I have done?" Trina hugged her closer. Sasha lifted a hand, gently sweeping a tear away from her mom's face.

"Don't cry mommy, we're okay now. A nice old man helped us find our way back."

"What?" Trina pulled back for a second, exchanging concerned looks with Hannah. The two looked off into the distance, both ushering their daughters back to the table. As the girls hurried back to their cousins, Trina and Hannah helped Linda to her feet. "An old man? Certainly not the guy…"

Linda rubbed her forehead, moaning softly. "I'm seeing things now," Linda muttered, "I could have sworn I just saw Ralph…bringing the girls back." Trina's heart stopped and Hannah's eyes began to enlarge. "But that's impossible. He died, didn't he?"

"Not that anyone saw," Hannah looked towards the others and lowered her voice. "I think we better get back home. It's been a long day."

"Right." Trina looked out to where the girls had come from. She was questioning as well as doubting along with Linda whether or not Ralph himself would have been around. As the others walked off, she lowered her voice to a whisper and narrowed her eyes. "No. Not him. Jesse said he was dead. Couldn't be him…"

* * *

Sasha definitely gets some of that bravado from her parents. So it isn't 100% confirmed who that old man is, but just the suspicion. Your thoughts? Perhaps a simple "Oh. well. Holy shit." might work? XD


	29. Impossible

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 29 (Impossible)

Trina burst into Tori's house, a nervous wreck. Tori and Ben were watching a remake of the infamous Star Wars and were at the Darth Vader and Skywalker's 'father' scene. Tori was bored, as she never liked either Star Wars or Star Trek, but likely was watching it because Ben was a fan when he was younger. "His father's alive!" Trina exclaimed.

Tori looked over dully and Ben raised his eyebrows, "Yes Trina that's the point." Tori motioned to the television and released an exasperated sigh. "Everyone knows the most famous scene in this damn movie that the Vader guy is Luke's father. I thought you knew that?"

"Oh I'm not talking about that stupid thing." Trina grabbed the remote and turned off the television, much to Ben's dismay. "I'm talking about Ralph. Ralph Klein!" Tori leaned forward, coughing into her hand.

"Jesse's father? How do you know?"

"I'm not sure, but it's that guy that's been following me, the old man. Linda saw him and recognized him as Ralph." She was just as perplexed as Tori and wanted answers as well as confirmation. "He might have faked his death in '08. I want answers!"

"Okay, now calm down." Tori stood up and held her hands up. Trina's chest heaved and her nostrils flared. She was not only angry, but all the hatred she pushed away was coming back up and directed to this one man. "I'll have Jade intercept him she sees him. We will deal with this."

"No! I want to find him myself. He has to answer for the way he treated Jesse and the way he treated Linda and her family."

"He_ will_, we just can't have you going vigilante." Sure she wanted to rip his head from his shoulders, but she wasn't going to do that unless absolutely necessary. Besides, there wasn't any tangible proof that this was him. "Furthermore do we know where the man is buried? We can find out if it is him or not."

"I just want answers, that's all. Sash and Emily disappeared and the guy following me around is the one that brought the kids back. Do you know what that did to me? Not to mention, if he really _is_ Ralph…" If it was true who he was, she had a bad feeling it meant something far worse the she could imagine. "This man is worse than Beck was, Tori."

"I understand that, but if you try to confront him, you're only putting yourself at risk." What happened to Jesse's fiancé, she wondered? How angry would Ralph have been when Jesse wasn't following the path he wanted? These were only her more recent paranoid thoughts and nothing more.

She would try to do as her sister was asking. After all, it was important for her to focus on hers and her daughter's lives. Her eyes slid shut and she breathed out a soft exhale. "Okay Tori, I'll stand down. But if it's true and that man is Ralph…if he tries anything at all…"

Tori looked at her firmly and cleared her throat, "You will let the authorities handle it." She understood where Tori's concern and protectiveness was coming from, but honestly she couldn't just sit down and wait if Ralph was alive and up to something. "You can help by telling us anything you know, though."

'Yeah." She crossed her arms and walked over to the couch, sitting on the far left side, leaving the middle cushion open. "There is one thing. Linda said when she met him he had ties to the Italian Mafia. He left temporarily when he formed the Knights-is it possible he's gone back?"

"Maybe. Especially if he faked his death." Though it was likely a number of other reasons to fake his death. One thing was certain, murder suspects certainly weren't suspected if they were dead. "We're actually closing in on the Mafia."

"You are?"

"Yes." Tori sat down beside Trina and hooked her right leg over her left. "We've made a few arrests and one of them has offered information. If we can get someone to testify against the crime boss-we can make an arrest and take out the Italians."

"Have you been getting the capos and the Lieutenants-as well as Underboss? I don't have to tell you it's important to take them out too." Of course Tori knew how to do the job, it was just more difficult with the Italian Mafia than any other gang they dealt with. Solely because the higher ups were more proficient in keeping their cover and staying out of trouble.

"That is the information we're trying to get from those we arrest. If they can give names, we can take out the higher ups and eventually reach the Don himself."

"And you're actually getting closer?"

"We have tips on where one of the capos generally meets, as well as the structure. All names but the Don has been given to us, because the informant we found doesn't know that high, for some reason. So I'd say we're getting close."

"Crime will always be a part of the world, and I'm sure gangs will rise up again in the future, but at least wiping them out now sends a message-"

"That they're not invincible. To take out the one that seems like the most invincible out will truly send a message that the FBI and President Bannister want heard." Tori looked smugly at the television set and folded her arms over. "You can't mess with justice, and certainly you can't run forever."

"That is the truth. Kind of ironic, Beck's drive to take over the Scrapperz and kill Jesse led to the biggest gang cleansing the Government's ever done…"

"You know, as much as Jade and I knew him, he did seem a little ballsy, but did he honestly have the guts to just suddenly have an idea to take out the most hated gang leader in LA? And _why_ was Jesse the most hated? Every single gang member was gunning for Jesse just because he saved some people from more lethal gangs? It doesn't make sense."

"What? You think maybe someone orchestrated a gang-wide hit on him?" Her stomach dropped at the possibility that Jesse's name could have been put on a hit roster. Who would be that calculating to order every gang in the country to kill one man? "I can't think of anyone that would want one man dead so badly they'd order every gang member to kill him…"

"It's a thought. And what if that's the case? What if it's that, and Beck was just the one lucky enough to get closest-playing off the fact that not only did Jesse have a lover, but a lover that one way or another, _Beck personally knew."_ She felt her blood run cold as the image of Beck standing over her and Jesse flashed through her mind.

She knew Beck used her to get to Jesse, but she didn't think it had been that much. Usually a hit had a massive bounty-the higher the one placing the hit was, the higher the bounty. Beck would have gotten a lot of money for killing Jesse. Everything Beck did to her, every taunt and jab, drew her closer to wanting to find him. Where she went, Jesse went. She just wanted to keep it at that, say Beck was the manipulative and calculating one-that he was the worst person around. She could only think of one person worse, someone she'd never personally met, but she didn't want to believe the possibility that Jesse might have been ordered dead by his own _father._

Her body stiffened and Tori reached over, patting her hand gently. "You okay, Trina?" She shook her head, shuddering away her thoughts.

"I just got a bad thought that Jesse's own father could have potentially set a hit on him, but I don't know why. I have no idea what Jesse could have done to make his father want him dead…Especially since Ralph was the one that threated Linda and her family with death if they went looking for Jesse."

"Well whatever the case, if Ralph is alive, we will find him."

"You'll punch him for me won't you, or is that not the legal way off dealing with it?"

"Don't you worry, Trina. You just focus on what is important right now, your daughter and yourself. Jade and I, the FBI, we will handle the criminals now." The right corner of Tori's mouth drifted up and she poked her thumb towards her husband. "Besides, Ben here can find a way to get the judge to give that Ralph guy the most stringent and heaviest sentencing possible."

"Still, there's no solid proof that it's him, Tori. Even you know it isn't possible to make an arrest without enough evidence."

"There's enough evidence that this old man is stalking you-and the fact that he came into contact with Sasha-even if he helped her get back to the party-is alarming enough to make an arrest." Trina started to breathe a sigh of relief, confident that her sister could definitely handle things. "If any of the agents see the man, I will give the order to arrest him. If you spot him, give the nearest agent the signal, and an arrest will be made."

Stalking was a much more serious crime in these days than it had been years ago. The President truly would have gotten along well with her father, both would have done so much to clean up the crime in the country. Nowadays, stalking got someone actual jail time, with a fine that increased on each offense. The thing was, an arrest would be made and the police would hold them for a week while an automatic restraining order was to be made. If the assailant pursued after that, they could go to prison and have to pay a fine.

"You know, I don't even know what I'm worrying about." She moved her hands behind her head and kicked her heels up onto the coffee table. "I just need to focus on what I've been doing. I trust you to get things done, it's just…it's hard to think that Jesse's father is still out there-the most dangerous criminal, if you ask me."

"Jesse sure doesn't sound like he had anything good to say about his dad."

"There's nothing good to say about the man. Jesse told me many stories, and Linda's tales about him were just as bad, if not worse."

"Right. Well, don't you worry. Are you looking forward to starting up your new job?"

"Yes. It'll be a while before I can start looking for a family home, but I'm excited. I do have enough saved up right now for a down payment on rent for a home, but I want to secure my position at the bank first."

"Good idea. Keep in mind, Ben and I will be more than happy to help if you need anything."

"I know, you've done more for me than I could ever ask for." She leaned forward and pulled her legs down to the ground. She leaned over to hug her sister, then pulled back, looking Tori in the eyes with a tender smile. "This time though, I want to do this for myself, and for Sasha. I won't ask you for money unless I absolutely have to."

Tori smiled back and lifted her shoulders, "Sounds good to me. Hang in there Trina, you're doing fine."

"Thanks."

* * *

A little reassurance never hurts, but I can tell you one thing-Ralph being alive, not always great. What do you think, was Beck just a pawn that got lucky because he had a piece no other leader had-knowledge of Trina and what makes the Vegas twitch? Perhaps Jesse's father was the true hidden antagonist behind Autumn Leaves. Could I be that meticulous? It's possible that I could, so we shall see, haha.


	30. Second Date Grilling

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 30 (Second Date Grilling)

"You seem stressed," Louis remarked from the booth across from Trina. It was their second date, and Casey was not giving any discount. This was expected, on part Trina did ask her not to, she didn't want any special treatment. "Did you have a rough week?"

"Not so much rough as I don't want to talk about it." She didn't want to get him involved in the things that were distressing to her. The old man hadn't been around in the last few days, so that was a plus. The thing stressing her out was the guilt of having the date here, she just didn't know anywhere better. "I can't wait to start my new job, get my life on track and be the mother Sasha needs."

"You seem like a great mother." She returned an appreciative smile and stirred the sugar in her glass of water.

"Thanks, but it's more like I'm the clingy mom." She almost insisted on dragging Sasha on the date with her, but Tori told her it was better that she not take her kid on a date. So instead, Sasha was now sitting at home with Ben, who was likely working in his home office. "Her starting kindergarten is going to be hell on me, but I'll do the best I can to get used to it."

"Every parent goes through that, I'm sure." She picked up the menu to browse it, despite having all the options memorized. "What will you have?" She curled her finger over the page of the menu and turned it to the seafood options.

"I'm thinking salmon. I always eat steak, it might be time for me to try something else-whether chicken or fish. I do enjoy the Dijon grilled, curry chicken breast. So I may go with that." Trina lifted her eyebrows and glanced over the menu at her date. "I love spicy foods."

"I'll keep that in mind for our third date."

"That confident, already, and it's only our second date?" Still not as smug or cocky as Derek, and nowhere near the confidence level of Jesse-that man had always been so sure of himself that he'd do anything just knowing it wouldn't fail.

"I have my moments."

"I'm sure you do." As she looked over his left shoulder, she saw Derek exiting the men's restroom. He tugged on his left jacket and swept his hair from his dark eyes. Derek's gaze fell onto Louis and his features constricted for a split second. He then smiled and walked in a smooth gait towards their table. "Oh Louis, have you met my friend's brother?" She narrowed her eyes at Derek while Louis turned and waved a hand.

"So, you're the expensive date I've heard about?" Derek leaned against the booth propping his elbow up on the corner of the seat. He wagged his eyebrows as Trina dragged her hand along her neck. "Treating her right, I hope?"

Louis laughed and nodded in response, "Yes sir." Trina rolled her eyes and gazed helplessly at the waitresses walking about. This was a hell of a time, but it was expected since summer meant teachers got a break. Derek had a summer job, of course, working at some auto shop.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" Trina scowled as Derek closed his eyes and twisted his lip into a smirk. He shrugged his arms to the sides and hooked his right ankle over his left.

"I don't work weekends." Right, how could she forget? Her fingers clutched her silverware and her lips pressed tightly together as her glare burned into him.

"So you're just bored, then? That's all?"

"Yes, that and I wanted to meet the expensive guy." Derek did a mock salute to Louis. "Good to meet you."

"Likewise," Louis replied. "Trina tells me you're a teacher at a local high school?" Louis folded his napkin in his lap as Derek looked off into the distance.

"Yes."

"Make just enough to get by, huh?" Derek's face fell and his lips dropped into a scowl. Trina stifled a chuckle as Louis's eyebrows shot up. "That came out wrong, I didn't mean any offense." Derek's eyes slid shut and he shook his hand while waving his hand through the air.

"No, no, don't apologize. You're fine-and I make more than enough to get by. You know, being a bachelor teaching band to a bunch of students and living on my own _does_ have its perks. What about you, Mr. Self-made? Any jobs for you?"

Trina leaned back, holding back a grin while listening to the bitterness creeping into Derek's tone. "Oh no, actually. I've got enough to survive." Derek rubbed his chin, scratching his nail along his jawbone.

Trina thought she heard his jaw pop, startling her. "I heard you inherited your father's oil company? You're getting paychecks from dad, huh? Beats working all day, every day, huh…I have to say, I admire a man who gets paid millions for doing nothing."

"Close enough." Trina's lips formed a circle as Louis seemed completely oblivious to the backhand Derek had just delivered to him.

Just then, Casey's voice echoed above them. "Derek!" Derek winced and looked over his shoulder in time to see his sister marching over like a tornado. He swept his fingers through his hair and deepened his smirk.

"Why if it isn't my dear little sister…How are you?"

"They are on a date." Casey put her hands to her hips and narrowed her eyes. After a second, she poked her thumb over her shoulder and spoke in a low growl. "Leave them alone." At this point Trina really didn't mind, she was enjoying the moment and basking in the glory of having Derek all flustered over her date.

It was a strange feeling, to be honest, and definitely something she hadn't felt in a long time. No man ever got jealous or acted this way towards anyone, but then, she'd never been in the situation that called for it. On another note, Jesse _did _get fired up when another man commented on her.

"Alright, I'll leave, sorry for making trouble Trina." He smiled at her and she waved dismissively, smiling back.

"It's fine, Derek." He tugged on the cuffs of his sleeve and walked towards the doors of the restaurant. Casey groaned softly and turned to Trina.

"I am so sorry about him. He's always been annoying like that. What can I get you to eat?" Trina set her menu down and folded her hands over it, gently tapping her finger on her middle knuckle.

"I'm actually going to go ahead and get the curry chicken breast." Casey gave her a smile and wrote the information on a notepad. Trina listened and watched as Louis gave his order. She still found amusing, Derek's way of sizing up her date. At the end of the day, it was still going to be about who made her daughter happy and who was most compatible with her family. Louis still had a ways to go.

"All right, so I've got the curry chicken breast for Trina, and you want the 9 ounce sirloin?" Louis nodded as Casey pushed the pen into the spirals of the notepad and pushed the pad into her apron. She gave the man a subtle smile and folded her arms. "I'll have that right out to you, but first. Louis, tell me, do you have children?"

_"Oh no,"_ Trina moved her hand to her forehead and sighed heavily as Louis shook his head.

"Do you want any children?" This was a good question, actually. She lifted her head and looked towards Louis with arched eyebrows, half expecting him to answer and half embarrassed by her best friend's grilling him. Why the hell had she chosen to have the date here, again? She was beginning to forget. "As you well know, Trina does have a daughter. So you should be aware that they come as one. Have you met little Sasha yet?"

"I would love to have children someday, and would be more than ready to accept Trina's daughter. However, it is still just our second date, I would like to see how this relationship is going to progress first." Trina wondered about his answer, but didn't see much wrong with it. She didn't expect anyone she dated to think they were going to immediately jump into a permanent relationship.

"You're interested in a long term relationship with Trina. Do you get angry often?"

"I do not…"

"Okay, that's good." Trina cleared her throat and Casey looked over with a raised eyebrow. "Right, I'll get your orders to the cooks." Trina sighed heavily as Casey scurried off. Louis was smiling brightly, seemingly oblivious to the fact that both Derek and Casey just grilled him like the chicken she was about to eat.

"Your friends seem wonderful, Trina."

"Thanks, there is a reason Casey is my best friend. Always looking out for me…" She spoke lowly, glaring out the corner of her eyes. This may very well be the last time she bring a date here, but she did want to know what her friends thought of him. Most of all, she wanted to know what Sasha and Tori would think of him. That time would come, though. "Let's enjoy the rest of our dinner though."

From what she learned so far, she was still ambivalent. He wasn't technically a 'self-made' millionaire, if it was his father's company he inherited. She didn't find that fact appealing since she did prefer people who worked hard to get where they're at.

"What do you do in your spare time? I imagine you have a lot of free time, so I'm curious."

"I'll drive around from time to time, maybe tour some art exhibits and other venues around Manhattan. There is a lot to do in New York."

"That's the truth." She was more curious now, since she would have preferred hearing he had a job or maybe at least studied. "Have you done any college work?"

"I'm thinking about it. I know relying on wealth isn't the best thing, without a source of income, that would dry up." True, a responsible person worked, no matter how much money they had. Louis curved his lip to a slight smirk and raised his eyebrows. "So do I match yours or your friends' standards yet?"

She pinched the straw in her water and reached down, embracing it with her lips and closing her eyes. After breathing in a sip, she leaned back and raised her shoulders. "We'll I've yet to see. I'll just have to see more, but more importantly I would like to see how well you are with my daughter."

"Does that mean a potential third date on the horizon?"

"Maybe, let's see how this turns out first."

* * *

Yes and perhaps third date should not be at the same venue of the friends' place of attendance, haha. Well, what are your thoughts?


	31. The Branch Manager

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 31 (Branch Manager)

Trina followed Marshall into the large Chase Bank and watched as Sasha walked ahead and looked around at the wide open building. "Is this going to be your new work, Mama?" When Sasha looked up to her, she felt a strong sense of pride. Her heart lifted jovially and she slowly nodded.

"Yes dear, you Uncle's getting me a job." Right now he was showing her around the place, she wasn't officially starting until next week.

When they stopped in the middle of the lounge, Trina had a chance to truly examine the place. Against the back wall was the desk where all the tellers were, a glass window overlooking the drive through area behind the bank. To her right were several cubicles where bankers sat-one of which was already helping a customer with a credit card issue.

Also in the lounge was a square rug with four black cushion chairs positioned on the corners with a coffee table in the center.

To the left was a hallway that led down to where several bars blocked off the heavy vault to the bank. The hallway was guarded by two men in police uniforms. Beside them was a spiral staircase leading to the second floor. Marshall motioned to it. "Upstairs is where all the main offices are, including yours. You might find yourself wanting to be out on the floor though. Most of the managers walk around when they're not busy with paperwork."

"That sounds good." She definitely wouldn't want to be restricted to the office if she could be out on the floor helping customers and employees. "I'm definitely not the type to hide away in an office."

"Good to hear. Bank managers tend not to stay away in an office anymore. As you know, you're going to oversee this particular brance-which means you're also responsible for meeting sales targets and keeping your staff trained as well as motivated for the job." They sat down in the chairs nearby and Sasha took a seat in front of Trina's legs.

"I will do my best, Marshall." She was also aware of her other duties, but it was always good to keep hearing and understanding the duties she would have-and they were not much different than what she'd done with Jesse while leading the Black Knights.

"Of course. Also, as a manager your duties are to promote and market the branch and its products, interact with customers and resolve any problems or complaints that arise. Ensure that everyone has a high level of customer service, monitor sales targets-such as the profit you're trying to reach by the end of the month-and then you will always report to the head office."

"Pretty much where you're at, right?"

"Yes." Trina crossed her right leg over her left and leaned into the sofa chair. "Now hours, typically you will work from open to close-essentially nine o'clock to five o'clock. From Monday through Friday." She smiled and looked to Sasha. She felt very good about the hours because she'd be working while Sasha was at school, then she'd be home by the time Sasha had to come home. "This particular branch is not open on Saturdays, so there's no need to worry about weekends. You will also be required to visit other branches and attend conferences, meetings and training days. So it is a lot of work, but you seem like you can handle it."

"I can, and will do my best."

"Everything stops with you. People will turn to you for solutions, advice, sales, and so forth." A high profile indeed, and from the sound of it, lifeblood. This job would be her career, her home away from home, and she'd protect it as well just as she would her own home.

"I won't let anyone down."

"I have confidence." Trina looked up as a woman with short blonde hair walked up to them. She had a business suit on and a nametag that read 'Rebecca'. "Hi, I wanted to introduce myself," the woman stated with a smile. She extended her hand and Trina returned the handshake with a firm grace and pleasant smile. "I'm one of the bankers here. Are you our new manager?"

"Yes. It's good to meet you." She gazed down and motioned to her daughter. "This is my daughter, Sasha." Sasha waved at the woman and stepped forward from Trina's leg.

"Hi, I'm really happy my mommy gets to work here, it's a good place?"

"Yes," Rebecca closed her eyes and smiled, chuckling softly. "We're happy to have your mother."

"Is it safe too? No bad people?" Trina's cheeks flushed as the woman confirmed the place was secure.

"This location is one of the safest locations around." Satisfied, Sasha climbed up onto one of the chairs and sank into the cushion, smiling as she bounced her feet in the air. Rebecca met Trina's gaze and held her pleasant smile. "You have such a precious daughter."

"Thank you." Trina rubbed her neck and laughed lightly, "She thinks she's the one looking after me. Then again, she is."

"Children always want their parents to be happy, so then they're happy as well. You'll be working away from her though, have you done that before?" Trina lowered her hand and looked over to Sasha with a heavy sigh.

"Yes, but it's difficult because I'm so attached to her. She's starting kindergarten at the end of the summer, so I'd better get used to it. At the very least I'll be home when she's home." Once kindergarten started up, Miss Debbie's class would now be coordinated with the school. Sasha would be attending kindergarten until two o'clock, then she'd go to Miss Debbie's dance and gym class. Debbie also provided daycare until Trina could get off work and pick Sasha up.

For now, the go-between that would take Sasha to the class would be one of the relatives, which made Trina's life a whole lot easier.

"Anyway I hope I'm not stepping on anyone's shoes, per se. I know new bosses always seem to stir up emotions from employees." Rebecca shrugged and looked back over her shoulder.

"Well there might be one or two people sensitive about it still. The last manager moved away and he was liked pretty well. We're all a team here, so I don't think anyone will rock the boat too much." Rebecca pressed her hands together and turned on her heels, facing the tellers. "Okay so on a typical day there's usually three tellers back there and four bankers. The assistant manager walks around the floor from time to time whenever they're in the office. We have two security guards always guarding the vault, and now you're here."

"Okay."

"When you look at the employee payroll you'll see we have quite a few people working here, so it's not always the same people every day or throughout the day. We'll try to make things as pleasant as possible for you-when do you start, next week?"

"Yes."

"Sounds great! Once you get your office all set up, and one of our bankers will help you get your things in, you'll be ready to begin. The break room is upstairs, someone's usually bringing donuts in the morning, and one of the tellers likes to bring cake from time to time."

"All right."

Marshall moved to his feet and gave a nod of approval. "You're joining a great team, sis." Jesse would be proud of her. Hell, Tori was proud, as was Casey. They would not shut up about how great it was for her to finally get a good job that would give her and Sasha a stable life. Yes, she was thrilled about it as well, but now she had to focus on this new life of hers. The honeymoon phase was ending and real work was beginning.

She could not wait to get set up and truly was having a difficult time containing that eager anticipation.

Throughout the week she was able to move things into her office, since she wanted to have everything in by the time she had to start. When she was finished, she could sit in her office and admire it.

From her large dark oak desk, she sat in her brown leather chair and admired the green desk lamp sitting in front of her and shining down on some introductory paperwork. The pine scent coming from the fresh desk was tantalizing as well.

On the right side of the desk, there was a photo of her and Sasha standing outside Tori's apartment building, with Sasha peeking out from behind Trina's legs and smiling as bright as the sun.

In front of her desk was a large red square rug sitting atop the brown carpeting and two black leather swivel chairs that faced her. Behind her was a similar, but smaller desk that was positioned against the large window. The desk was reserved for her desktop computer. She could easily wheel herself between the two desks.

The walls were brown with crown molding at the bottom and top. She'd made portraits out of a couple family photos, including one portrait of her father that now hung above her office door. She felt it gave her room a sense of security and protection, as if he were looking over her.

There was a framed photo of Jesse sitting on the bookshelf near her against the right wall. The picture was one she took off him when he was trying to fix his fence in the backyard of the house. He saw her with the camera and promptly leaned his elbow against the top of the fence and dangled his hammer in his hand.

"This place is great," Trina leaned back in her chair and flicked her eyes towards her nameplate on the desk. _Katrina Vega-Branch Manager._ "I wonder what Jesse and Dad are thinking right now."

She heard a knock and quickly instructed the person to come in. The door opened and Rebecca entered, eyeing her with a wide grin. "So, how do you like your office?"

Trina ran her fingers along the smooth surface of the desk, feeling a flutter in her heart. "I love it!"

"Just wait until it's cluttered with paperwork. Not even your file cabinet will hold _everything_." Trina looked to the left corner where three file cabinets with four drawers rested. Her shoulders rose and fell.

"I try to keep things as organized as possible, so hopefully I can keep it clean. How are things downstairs? Need any help?"

Rebecca laughed and shook her head. "You haven't even _started _yet, Trina. Everything's running smoothly, butg feel free to walk around down there."

"All right." She stood up and pat her hands together. "Starting or not, I don't want to be cooped up. Remind me again to thank Marshall for this opportunity." It was really just hitting her how great this was for her, not to mention she didn't doubt her capability at all.

"Sure thing." Rebecca turned around and looked up to her father's portrait. "Who is that?"

"My dad. He passed away years ago."

"Oh." She looked back to Trina with an apologetic frown. "I'm sorry." Trina smiled back politely and lifted her hand.

"Don't be. He was a great man, a hero. He's in a better place now."

"True. I think he'd be proud of you." Trina nodded and walked around her desk, smiling up at her father's portrait. She still had a long way to go, but she felt truly things were going to be much easier. "Come on, let's head downstairs, everyone would like to meet their new boss."

"Great, I look forward to it."

* * *

So she's got her new job, but there are still a few other things to deal with. Finally, she's beginning to make a name for herself and possibly cement her place into society. Pretty soon we're going to see just how well she can take care of that bank, haha. Anyway, your thoughts?


	32. Single Life

Clean Slate

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious.

A/N:

* * *

Chapter 32 (Single Life)

Back home Trina was brushing her daughter's hair in front of the bathroom mirror, Sasha was getting ready to go play with Emily some more. As Trina swept the brush through a knot in the girl's hair, Sasha winced. "Careful, Momma."

"Sorry baby. Momma's got to get this knot out." Sasha smiled at the mirror as Trina ran the brush down the back of Sasha's hair. "Are you looking forward to spending time with your cousins?" Hannah was going to take Emily, Brandon, and Sasha to a history museum. There were many stories to be told, so the girls were definitely excited.

"Yep! We'll stay close to Aunt Hannah too." She trusted that, though she was still anxious about the girls wandering off. She wanted to go too, but she had some things to do. "When are they coming over?"

"Hannah will be picking you up in about an hour. I know you'll stay close, the museum is a big place and I don't want to hear my daughter is lost in the place." There was also no way Hannah was letting the girls out of her sight either. Much like Trina after the issue at the park, Hannah was more stringent about her children staying close and was as watchful as a hawk.

Sasha hummed quietly and watched her mom's hand moving gently along her hair. After a full minute, her eyes drifted up to Trina in the mirror. "Momma, now that you have a new work, are we going to still stay with Aunt Tori and Uncle Ben?"

"Your Uncle John has been showing me a few houses, dear. We should be getting our own place soon, but that doesn't mean we won't always be close to your Aunt Tori." Sasha's lips curled upwards and she closed her eyes.

"Good. I love Aunt Victoria, Uncle Ben and Cousin David. But it's their home, not ours…" Trina frowned and looked up to the mirror with a heavy sigh. She knew where that quote had come from. Ben's pregnant sister-in-law came to visit with his brother and was watching Sasha run around the house while talking with Tori. Trina and Ben were with Tori on the couch and Melinda had been in the recliner. It was Melinda that made the crude remark that Trina and Sasha should have their own place and didn't belong because it wasn't 'their' own house.

She thought Sasha hadn't heard or understood if she had. In that moment Ben's brother, who was behind Melinda, silenced the woman. Ben and Tori, both heavily agitated, were quick to Trina's and Sasha's defense. Trina felt that as true as the statement was, and despite that she was looking for other places, it was still uncalled for-and her sister made sure Melinda understood that.

The woman apologized for the offhand comment as well, stating she wasn't really thinking when she said it. It wasn't entirely her fault, she didn't understand what brought the mother and daughter there.

"Sasha, when you heard Melinda say that, she wasn't accurate or right." Sasha raised an eyebrow and Trina turned her around to gaze into her eyes. "This was and has been our home for almost a year now-Tori and Ben have _always_ been good to us and they always will. Home is where the heart is, okay? It's where you feel loved, secure, safe…this _has_ been our home." Sasha inhaled slowly as Trina swept the child's bangs away from her eyes. "Now, the only reason we are moving out is because Tori and Ben are starting a family of their own and need the space. The same will happen for us also one day. But no matter what, you can know that your aunt and I will _always_ have room for the other if it comes down to needing a place to stay. We've been safe and secure here, and now it's time to get back on our own two feet, but we will _always_ have a home with Tori if it ever comes down to that. Do you understand, sweetheart?"

"I do, Mommy."

"Okay, I'm glad." She hugged Sasha close and smiled as the young girl wrapped her arms around her neck. "Now if you ever hear something that upsets you, I want you to know you can always come to me. Okay?" Sasha nodded and Trina reached down, kissing her forehead.

The bathroom door opened up and Trina looked back at her sister, "Hey Trina, Derek's over." What was he there for? Before she could ask, Sasha jumped up and ran gleefully out the door, nearly knocking Tori over in the process. Tori laughed as Trina rose to her feet. "I think he came to visit you guys before Hannah picked up Sasha."

"Yeah, probably." She followed Tori out into the living room, grinning when she heard Sasha's laughter. Derek was finishing up a joke of some sort. When she made it to the living room, she saw him sitting on the couch and Sasha giving him a huge hug. Tori folded her arms over and smirked at Trina, who simply shrugged. "I swear, I can't for the life of me understand what she sees in him."

"Yeah, I'll believe that once hell freezes over, Sis." Derek looked up as Trina sat beside the two.

"I wanted to swing by before Sasha went off to the museum. What are you doing today?"

"Well, I was going to go on that third date." Trina still was ambivalent about Louis. For as decent of a guy as he was, there still was something that felt off about her. "We were going to grab a movie and get back here when Hannah was done with Sasha so that he could meet her as well as Tori."

"So, I take it you like this guy?" He raised an eyebrow, studying her face for a full minute. She was watching Sasha groom his hair with her fingers and was amazed that he didn't seem to mind. Thinking back on Louis, she tried to imagine him with Sasha. Her lips fell into a frown as she struggled to imagine him as fun loving around her as Derek was. "Then again, judging by your face right now, I'm guessing you're not all that sure about him?"

"I don't know. I don't know how he'll be with Sasha. I don't know if she's going to feel secure with him or if he'll treat her like-" Stopping herself, she looked up to Derek's gaze and felt her breath slowly slipping away. His eyebrow rose and Sasha looked at her with a widening smile. "Like a father would treat his daughter. I don't know if she would have that chemistry with him. He just seems so…there's something off that I can't place a finger on."

"Well he sure doesn't seem aggressive, if that's the problem."

"No, it's not that. He's nice, decent, but in the end could he really give Sasha the love she needs from a father? Could he make a good husband? These are important and vital questions."

Tori leaned forward, folding her forearms against the top of the couch and curling her lip into a half smirk. "Want me to find out for you? Because…I can. I can do _so much_." Trina sighed as Derek chuckled. "In my honest opinion, I think if you're going to date you should introduce the guy to Sasha on the first or second date."

"Maybe. If the guy's not good enough for me, he's not good enough for Sasha. If he's not good enough for her, then he's not good enough for me." She really wasn't all that into Louis, and for some reason she couldn't see herself getting all that into anyone. It wasn't because of Jesse, however, it was because she was beginning to see a particular man in a much more suitable and attractive light now that she was opening herself up to the possibility.

This man, of course, was already highly compatible with her, with Sasha and with her family. She looked to Derek once more and smiled as Sasha curled up between his side and his arm.

The front door swung open, startling Trina up. When she looked over, she saw Jade entering with Hannah trailing behind her. Sasha saw Hannah and instantly hopped off the couch. "Finally! Aunt Hannah!" Sasha scurried over to the woman and hugged her legs. "Where's Emily?"

"Right here!" Emily chimed as she led her two year old brother into the house. Sasha squealed and met her cousin in a big hug. Trina looked from them over to Jade, questioning what the woman was doing here. Jade moved off to the side and crossed her arms while Hannah flung her hair from her view.

"I don't know why Jade's here," Hannah remarked, "She was parking as I drove up."

"I do have something I'd like to discuss with Tori and Trina," Jade replied, "It can wait until Sasha's out." Trina furrowed her brow and rose up from the couch.

After a few minutes, she said her goodbyes to Sasha, instructing the girl to listen to her Aunt and reminding her to stay close.

Once the girls were gone, Trina turned to Jade and moved her hands to her hips. "What is this about, Jade?" It must be important if Jade was announcing this, so she knew to pay attention. Perhaps Jade found the old man, of course the old man hadn't been seen by her lately. Ever since the park, he'd been stay away from her and Sasha. "Did you locate that guy?"

"No, I didn't." Frown lines formed at the corners of Jade's mouth and a crease line shot out along her forehead. "You'd think it'd be easy to find a guy matching his description. As for 'Ralph Klein' there aren't a whole lot of records of him after his alleged death in 2008. We _did_ order an exhumation of the remains in his grave and tested them with Marshall to see if there was a match…"

"And?" She held her breath as Jade closed her eyes and inhaled slowly.

"We're still waiting on the results from the lab. So there is no news. There were bones in the grave, so obviously _someone_ is buried there." Trina released her breath and nodded, understanding that whatever news Jade had wasn't about Ralph.

"Okay. So…what are you here for, just visiting?"

"No. Well, sort of. You may want to sit down." Trina nodded and returned to her seat beside Derek. "I know you probably didn't want me doing this, but I was curious. I did some digging on Louis." Trina moved her hand up to her forehead and dropped her shoulders as a great weight fell from her. Here she thought it was something earth shattering!

"Get me all worked up just to tell me you looked in on the guy I had two dates with? Seriously?"

"Sorry, but still yes. He has a particular lifestyle that, when I questioned Tracey about, she didn't know anything of." Trina rolled her head to the side and Tori circled her hand in the air. "Turns out Louis is one of those old fashioned Mormons that never separated from original beliefs like the true Mormons claim to have done."

"Which means…" Her heart came to a stop as both Tori and Derek began to tense. Jade took a deep breath once more and crossed her arms.

"He's a polygamist. He's already got two wives and is looking for a third-do you want to take a stab at how many kids he's got right now? It's not many…but let's say he does make an interesting family man." Trina's jaw dropped and she felt a rush of anger.

It wasn't so much hurt and betrayal because she wasn't that into him, but it still stung that she didn't know this about the man. There was no way in hell she'd ever be with someone like that, but she still needed confirmation. "Is there anything else?" She added through clenched teeth.

"Yes. Upon finding out, I did you a favor and detained him. I thought you might like to talk to him."

"You did _what?"_

"He's in the back seat of my car right now. I know you don't want people to intrude, but I had to because of what I went through with Beck." She didn't care. As a matter of fact, she understood perfectly. Her eyes drifted to the window where she could see Jade's car alongside the curb. Louis was sitting in the back seat. "I may have cuffed his wrist to the door in my memorable flashbacks to my time with dear old Beckett…" Trina coughed as Jade swept her finger over her chin. "I'll be right back."

Trina cracked her neck and stood up, clenching her fists as she watched Jade rush out the door. If Jade had been flashing back to Beck, she had to wonder what the woman may have done to him.

She was going to try and be as calm and rational as possible. If this was true what Jade had said, she was glad it was brought to her attention before she started to feel anything for the man. She threw her gaze over her shoulder to the two behind her. "You two let me do the talking, got it?"

"I'll try my best," Derek muttered in annoyance. Tori cracked her neck and remained silent as her glare held onto the door.

When Jade returned with Louis in tow, he did not have any cuffs on and was looking at Trina with a frown. "I told her she didn't need the cuffs," Louis stated. "I know what this is about." Trina crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. She was going to keep her arms locked because right now she felt it was best to not let her hands be free. "I came on my own volition, but she still cuffed me."

"Well she had her reasons, I'm sure."

"Yeah. Look." He took a deep breath and locked eyes with her. "I know I didn't tell you about my lifestyle. I was going to, I just…I wanted to get to know you more."

"When were you planning on telling me you were a polygamist, Louis? Is it true that you're married to two other women?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"You didn't think it would be crucial to tell a woman curious about dating you, from the very _start_ that what your religious views were?" Her voice started to rise as her arms twitched and her fingers flexed into her palms. "I told you from the very first date that I had a daughter. Here I find out you have two wives and possible kids of your own?"

"No children yet, but I do have one on the way yes…" Trina removed her right hand and rubbed her forehead, sighing heavily.

"Louis. I need a man who is going to make me feel like _I_ am the only woman in his life and that he can be a father to his child-my child. I'm not going to be with someone who has another family on the side!"

"I wouldn't ask you to do that. You're a good woman, a good mother, and I've seen that. I _was_ going to tell you tonight…I'm sorry." She studied his sullen expression for a minute and closed her eyes, sighing heavily. There was a truth to his gaze, so she could see he was genuine in his apology.

"Fine. I accept your apology, but you know that this ends here." Louis nodded slowly as Trina shook her head. "You seem like a good man, it's a shame you're a polygamist. I'm not going to sit here and tell you whether your own religious beliefs are right or wrong, that's your problem and I'm keeping my hands off it. However…" She put her hand to her chest and opened her eyelids halfway. "I personally don't believe or agree with polygamy and I am not a bigamist. One man, one woman, one family and one household. I need a man with those same values, someone that can respect that. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"I can't really understand the value or appeal to polygamy either." She raised her eyebrows and pressed her lips together. "I mean if one person can't satisfy you both emotionally and physically, then you shouldn't be with them. That's my own belief. If you believe that you can be satisfied that way, then that's fine. I would love to get to know you more if you valued the 'one family' value, because you honestly do seem like a great guy. I wish you the best of luck in life, Louis, and I wish the best to whomever comes into your life."

"Thank you, and you too Trina. I hope you find the man you're looking for in life."

"Thanks." She inhaled and closed her eyes. "You can go now, Louis. Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

After he left, the tension in the air seemed to subside. She sat beside Derek, feeling a great strain in her chest as her head fell onto his shoulder. His body relaxed and her eyes drifted up to his concerned gaze. "Are you all right, Trina?" She felt her heart skip, then closed her eyes, exhaling from her nostrils.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Sorry about Louis."

"It's okay, really. Just glad I found out sooner than later. I think I realize something, though."

"What's that?"

"As much as I loved Jesse, and a part of me always will-I do not want to be single for the rest of my life. But at my age, it feels like my options are running out."

"I wouldn't say that, any guy would love to be with you and you know that. You're an attractive, beautiful and caring woman who has a fantastic daughter that you love more than anything. You know what you want in life, and you go after it without expecting anyone else to do the job for you. There isn't a man in the world that wouldn't appreciate everything about you."

Her lips curved into a smile and she closed her eyes, "You can say all that again if you'd like." He chuckled and she lifted her hand, snapping her fingers. "Go ahead, the way you say it works."

"As you wish," Derek laughed, "Are you comfortable there?"

"Very…So that third date isn't happening, my schedule just suddenly cleared up."

"You want to watch a movie?"

"I'd love to."

* * *

So quite a bit going on here. FBI's waiting to identify Ralph's remains-or whoever's buried in his grave-we got lots other stuff too. Your thoughts?


End file.
